Waste of time holidaying with a disabled person

I'm disabled... use a stick.. waiting for new hip.
I holiday abroad a lot( few times a year). Sister drives .. and we have a fabulous time..
Or hire a disability scooter?

@justasking111

He walked ahead of you when you were young and struggling with DC. He walks ahead of you now that you're older and have a disability. So it sounds to me as if he's always been this way, selfish and impatient. Was there a 'middle time' (post kids/pre hip) where you were able to keep up with him or has he always just taken off?

As far as a wheelchair/scooter I guess if your only concern is from the time you get out of the car until you board the plane (& the reverse) then I suppose owning a wheelchair/scooter wouldn't be practical. But if a holiday involves walking, then you don't have to 'need' one to use one. DH and I often holiday at Disney. I can walk, but I can't 'go the distance'. I have sudden dizzy spells and I have an ankle that can go out, so for my own comfort and safety I use an ECV. I'm not too 'proud' NOT to make the best holiday I can.

The bottom line for you is that he is not going to change. If he 'resents' dropping you off/picking you up then fuck him, the horse he rode in on, and the stable he's keeping it at. By God, I'd be making him wait by the kerb as I dawdled my way through the airport. Then I'd tell him it was his fault he had to wait because if he went at my pace (or pushed me using an airport wheelchair) he wouldn't be waiting for me at all.

He's a real prick and frankly I'd kick him to the kerb. Life is too short to put up with being treated badly. Why waste the rest of your life dealing with his shit?

He’s abusive. His behaviour is absolutely vile. It’s not any way to treat someone you’re supposed to love.

OP, I think you really should think again about getting a cane.

You could use it to whack him round the shins. 😁

Assistance at the airport is bookable and there's no reason with a villa holiday that you cant enjoy yourself by the pool and swim with the grandkids. I'd be letting him know youll be trading him in for husband version 2.0 after you get your new hip!

Do get a GP referral for him for the memory clinic. And get a Blue Badge for yourself. Part of his moaning about dropping you off/parking might be about anxiety if remembering where he's parked. My newly diagnosed NDN is like this and writes down each time she takes her car out where she's parked. Thankfully she's giving up driving this week!

Selfish husband prior to this. You need a medal for putting up with him. My dmil needs a hip replacement and refusing to have one and yes it does effect what we do...I find I often have to keep her company which means more time around the shops and sitting and having cake rather than walking up a mountain....such a pity I can't walk up the mountain isn't it and have to keep her company lol. Dh and fil do the walking up and then mil and dc and I and collect them at the bottom... everyone is happy.....don't tell dh I prefer the little pretty German town shops and cakes...

OP, I think you need HRT (Husband Replacement Therapy). Leave the miserable twat at home.

Assistance at the airport- you don't have him push you they push you! I don't need a wheelchair in daily life, but often the distances in the airport are far, and it would take ages to walk there slowly (even potentially missing the flight, we did last time). I use assistance, it's not odd to use it if you are a slow walker who needs to be leaning on someone- how can they carry all the bags if you are leaning on them? I honestly think you do need to rethink this bit of the journey.

Please don’t dismiss this - take him to a memory clinic and get tested for dementia. It could also explain his lack of empathy / grumpiness.

As far as your holiday goes I’d be asking what the rest of your family honestly think. I holidayed with family member who had bad knees and refused a stick or wheelchair (pride comes before a fall they say) they always put their idea of independence first at the expense of everyone. It’s very hard and I don’t mean to judge but just be aware others and not just your husband maybe wish you were on a self drive scooter.

Leave husband at home,he sounds a thoughtless twat.

I use assistance through airports. Brain injury caused hidden disabilities and I was too embarrassed. That was until I had a breakdown in departures and they came and rescued me in a chair. I now use them all the time flying and they always push. It's so nice to have the stress removed. I'm also late 40's and use a stick.

He could slow down his walking if he wanted to, he could arrange assistance for you at the airport if he expects you to lug the luggage about, he could help you but he doesn't. I'm sure he'll expect to be waited on hand and foot if he ever needs help. Just go away without the old misery. Let him look after himself and dont answer the phone when he's forgotten how to turn the oven on..

I think you need a replacement husband.

I think he is rude. And mean.

This in a nutshell. He's a veritable prince among men... Not.

Sorry to be blunt, but could you get a new husband to go with that new hip? He sounds horrid!

I’m sure your son would far rather have you there and not his dad! Your husband sounds like a right selfish pain in the bum. I bet he isn’t even good company. I’m projecting my father-in-law here 😜 but I still think they’d love to have you there with them

Not sure it’s a new hip you need…

YANBU

Can you go on your own?
Leave DH behind.

He sounds awful.

Op you’ll be fine and great. Dm would never go on a holiday because of how much she’s slowed up, dmil (not in a wheelchair but a lot of issues) just gets a wheelchair where she can and we have amazing fun with her. Ignore your dh, your son wants you to go xxxxxxx

Leave him at home lol

He'll need to learn to wait if you're the one with the passports, money, room keys, etc.

If he wants to stride on ahead, just let him - go at your own pace without worrying about his preference. Its what he does, after all, why shouldnt you? So long as you have the things you need (money, keys, phone, docs, etc).

Your issue isn’t disability or children it’s your impatient husband. Just do your own thing, tell him you’ll meet somewhere at a set time and definately go on the holiday.

Your husband is a selfish twat. I wouldn't usually say this but I really hope karma bites him on the arse. Anyone can end up with a disability at any time in their life.

Your son has invited you. Go enjoy his family's company and ignore your husband's attitude. Bell end that he is.