Brother and I can’t eat in public

I so wish people would stop crunching on apples at work.

Me too. I eat apples/nuts and coffee at work and sometimes a pret soup but I'm never hungry at work. I snack a fair bit at home though still pretty fat. I love a takeaway under the blanket on the sofa, would never go to a restaurant in preference to that. I much prefer to eat on my own and actually concentrate on the food rather than having to talk to people.

If you are happy just eating one meal a day and you are not feeling faint or tired at work then does it matter? May people only eat one meal a day and it is a fairly popular habit these days (OMAD). Surely it's only an issue if you are feeling hungry or lethargic or are deliberately/ rudely shunning invitations to share a piece of birthday cake etc?
Most of us (myself included) eat three meals a day plus snacks out of habit whether or not we are hungry.

I think I understand.

I like to sit and enjoy each meal - I lived in France for a while and really enjoyed the culture there around mealtimes as it mirrored how I like to eat.

However, I am able to eat at my desk or on the go if I need to - it wouldn't be a 'thing' that I'd think about to be honest. I just have a preference for a nice meal at a table!

I am rather the same myself. I will eat lunch out on the very rare occasions I get to go anywhere (am housebound) but this is purely as a way to chat to friends kind enough to take me and not for the food itself. I don't enjoy eating in front of others at all.
I do have a variety of mental health issues plus autism.

My daughter and I share the same thing as you and your brother. It's stress that stops us from eating. She can't eat in school because it feels too busy, and I couldn't eat at work if the office was busy. But we both have no issues with eating in a nice restaurant or at home. During the holidays & weekends we eat just fine at home.

Foods food if I'm hungry I'll eat anywhere.
But the word yummy I hate.

Why would I eat a big lunch (Shepherds pie) or sweet treat if I am not in a relaxed environment? Ie the food is not as yummy as it could be if it were eaten at home

I think the mistake you're making is trying to apply logic to this, when there isn't any. You have an odd hang-up where you would rather eat nothing at all than eat in environment you deem less than perfect and in which you think your food would be 'not as yummy'. In your head, you have deemed your own home and certain restaurants 'safe' to eat in, and your workplace and certain other restaurants 'unsafe' to eat in.

What you're describing is no more rational than OCD. In fact, I think it's perfectly possible that it actually is OCD - it's a very OCD thought pattern, really. It reminds me a bit of my friend's ex who had OCD would only remove a suit jacket in certain 'safe' settings, something she only realised when he spent an entire day at a wedding wearing a jacket which a seagull had shat all over immediately after the ceremony, and completely refused to remove it at any point during the reception.

Some people don't est when stressed/ in a stressful environment. If you're not even feeling hungry without eating it's likely something is stressing you out. It's more likely with neurodiversity of different kinds as well, as they can be overstimulated by stressors and lose appetite.

I've an in-law who cannot eat in front of anyone. Anywhere.

No I've not come across this before. Good food is good food! Obviously it will be even more enjoyable in good company and in a nice setting, but that certainly doesn't mean I can't enjoy food "in public" and don't really get that concept at all. In fact, lunch at work is always a highlight of my day (I'm lucky that the food is excellent!).

McDonalds is pretty bad wherever. Though if anything I'd probably tolerate it better "on the road". Once home I'd probably be even more aware how much worse it is than anything I'd make at home. Whereas if you are eg. on a car journey it kind of fits.

And I only really enjoy fish and chips on the beach.

I had something similar when I was about 12. I had a phobia of eating in front of people, just couldn't do it I wouldn't be able to swallow food. I lost a lot of weight and as I was skinny anyway looked dreadful, it was solved by being allowed off the school premises to get food to eat alone

I can't eat a proper meal if I'm feeling "wound up" in some way - worrying about something, on the move, watching the clock to get back to work/leave the house on time/do a task etc. It just destroys my appetite.

I'm a healthy weight and eat a varied diet, I just get most of my calories in the evening.

Hated eating I the office especially if someone comments on what you eat, one of the many reason I love WFH!

I don't eat around people I work with. I never have done. I'd rather sit in my car and eat lunch than be in the canteen. If I'm off out to a restaurant then that's fine because the chances are I'll never see those sitting at other tables again. I can eat in front of strangers/close family/close friends, but somebody who is little more than a colleague or an acquaintance nope, not doing it.

Yes I get this

I do buy nice lunches when I'm in the office but some things need to be enjoyed so I need to be able to sit at home, tv on etc whereas DH sometimes stands in the kitchen and eats. This seems pointless to me although I know it's not pointless.

Hmm I have a less severe version. I can eat in public but I much prefer eating on my own in private. It's only happened since having children and I will often wait until the kids have gone to school before having breakfast. For the same reason I don't like having lunch while in the middle of an intense piece of work (my work needs concentration) I feel like I can't properly enjoy it while I'm stressed or distracted.

I think I know what you mean - I generally only want to eat things like Chinese food at home in my pyjamas where I can relax and pig out 😀

I had a friend at uni who was similar. He couldn't or wouldn't eat in public at all, only at home.

I sometimes wonder if he ever overcame his problems as he's now in quite a senior role.

I suppose its only a problem if its a problem! Like you being hungry during the day and not feeling able to eat or thoughts of eating in those settings causing serious anxiety.
Otherwise....meh.

Im not that bad but alot of people in my place of work will bring in full dinners (I work nightshifts), order take aways or eat at their desks.
Personally I could never do any of that. I only eat on my break or tucked away in the kitchen!

My Mum passed on similar behaviour to me but then I exaggerated it and have experienced anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia and binge eating as an adult.

I've done A LOT of work on myself and the disordered relationship I have with food.

There's a few (UNTRUE) internal core beliefs I have / had that would drive a similar approach to OP:

• my value as a human is directly linked to my size and shape
• this extends to equating the quality of what I eat to my value as a person
• I see fat people as less that, they are greedy and lazy and controlling my food intake is a superior quality
• people who waste food or eat badly are stupid / less than. Food purity is aspirational so super healthy, no waste
• food is therefore given an INSANE value as when restricting it was so scarce I couldn't waste a single calorie on something that wasn't 100% perfect.
• but then the bizarre contradiction is that I am mentally not allowed to throw any food away as I am not good enough to waste food / money on making something else. It must ALL be eaten eventually - even if that means eating manky / not nice leftovers above cooking something new and fresh

I'd say there's all sorts of stuff hidden behind your own behaviour and you are very lucky that it's not spiralled into anything more damaging.

I'd also guess that you currently have no idea of any of this as it's so ingrained / how you were brought up

OP I can understand not wanting to eat a big meal in a non-relaxed setting. I never liked eating tea with the kids when they were younger, because I couldn’t enjoy my meal whilst getting them water, cleaning up mess, dealing with moaning etc. I preferred to wait till they were in bed so I could actually enjoy my food.
But why not have a sandwich or a snack at work? Because surely you must be uncomfortably starving by the end of the day.

Ahahahaha didn't take long did it
'WeVe lOsT sIgHt oF wHaT a NoRmAl mEaL sHoUlD lOoK lIkE'

But you can eat in public. You just pick and choose what you will eat in public

I was going to say something similar. I remember our whole school (private, all girls) getting a telling off because some older girls had been seen eating in the street, in school uniform. This was disgraceful behaviour, apparently. Eating in a work canteen or a restaurant would be fine, though.