To not give builders food

Using the toilet, yes of course, unless it's a long build and a portaloo needs to be brought in. I have offered tea coffee in the past i I'm making one for me but no, I'm not feeding them. My mil on the other hand would be spending up at M&S to feed them.

I'd always offer biscuits and/or crisps to builders as well as tea and coffee. Obviously you don't have to, but it's a nice gesture. My mum gives them massive slabs of homemade cake!

My husband has a building company. His crew bring their own drinks/ lunch. They usually leave the site park up somewhere to eat/ smoke/ vape in the van. For a 2 day outside job, I wouldn't be offering drinks & snacks unless you want it to turn into a 4 day job.

I always supply tea/coffee/biscuits as a minimum and dependent on who they are/how long for and what times they are there I’ll often making bacon toasties

I think "tiffin" in the posh sense means something other than the (delicious) rocky road thing. Something from the British army in India I think. Maybe a snack box?

Had builders for months and months.
always offered a coffee first thing and a coffee in the afternoon when I was taking my lunch, they had a portaloo so that bit not an issue.
I refilled water bottles for them and I did one time share some doughnuts. They were lovely.

If they're starting early, a mid-morning sausage or bacon sarnie or tea and toast would be a decent gesture. They'll be working intensively by the sounds and it never hurts to keep good tradesmen on side. If it's sweltering I'd also have some ice lollies in the freezer. On their last day I'd probably offer some cakes in the afternoon. Your husband sounds as tight as a duck's.

Why doesn't he want to do it? Is money tight?

If not I'd ignore him. A few biscuits is a nice gesture.

Seriously, what you were planning is fine, it's about being vaguely hospitable and friendly.

As for posh people treating workers badly - more like people who 'think' they're posh iyswim. Proper posh people ime appear with meals you've never heard of and announce it's 'time for tiffin' like everyone is eating cake every 4 hours and it's the most normal thing ever! 😂

I'm in Australia so maybe a cultural difference, but I think I speak for most when I say I never give out tea or coffee or biscuits to tradies and I don't think the tradies would expect here! Even if it's middle of the summer in 36+ degree heat they are usually pretty equipped with whatever they need. The tradies get paid a whole lot here so I'm paying them to do a job not to give them drinks and food.
So basically you are obviously very generous! 😊

Your DH sounds horrible. Begrudges them a biscuit and using the loo? Is he as tight in all areas of his life or just where tradespeople are concerned?

You don’t need to make them breakfast but drinks and biscuits (and use of a toilet ) are standard in my world when having work done.

I agree the bacon sandwiches etc are OTT.

And also a bit weird - I would hate to be randomly presented with a bacon sandwich while working. I don't even eat meat. And quite a few of the tradesmen we have had have had various dietary restrictions, e.g. observing lent

oh yes we also provided cold drinks water, diet coke in the garage fridge as some very warm days

That's nice! I stopped offering my cleaner coffee as she never once took me up on it, but it has never even occurred to me to offer bacon butties for her arrival etc. I wfh so have my own stuff to be getting on with when tradespeople are here.

Perfect
think the key thing is they can help themselves
whilst nice offering a brew if there 1/2 way through something or just put a mix on it’s not the best timing

Your DH is being completely unreasonable about toilet access, absolutely outrageous. Would he think it reasonable for him to piss in a bottle at work?!

All the builders I know (and it's a lot) would be delighted with a set up where they can help themselves when the work is at a convenient stopping point, and make it the way they like.

Biscuits always welcome, and a nice thought - I don't think they'll be bothered about individually wrapped, if you'd rather just get a packet of chocolate digestives or something.

Perhaps consider cold drinks if it's sunny - cans of coke or bottled water? Generally people bring their own but it's nice to be nice, you know?

I'd probably chuck down a dust sheet or get/ask them to bring that sticky back plastic stuff to protect the floor from the door to the loo, and still ask them to take shoes off, especially if it's wet. But covering the floor anyway saves problems if they either forget or they've got mud or whatever on their clothes that might drop off.

They’ve always observed the posher the house the less hospitable the client!

I wonder how much of this is about WFH

I have had the odd comment from tradesmen about infrequent tea rounds and I have sometimes had the sense that they assume I am not really working because I am WFH

Your DH is stingy. I thought you were going to say you were offering to make them lunch, not set up drinks and buy a packet of biscuits for them, which would be a bit OTT.

And not letting someone use the toilet: just why? We all have bodily functions. How would you feel if you couldn't use the loo at someone's house? Worst case scenario they pee in your garden. Boak.