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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask school to stop sending me these texts?

368 replies

SquiglePig · 10/06/2024 10:51

I have 3 kids in same high-school.

They've started to send texts to parents everytime a child is late to a lesson, basically saying 'your child is late for lesson, please don't allow this to happen again etc'

My kids are never late to school in the mornings, ever.

It's my responsibility to get them into school on time, which I do.

I've had the discussion with them about getting to lessons on time but what can I actually do?

I feel like once they're on school grounds I don't really have physical control over how long it takes them to get to lessons even though I keep telling them.

Also it's not a text to my phone it's a text via the school messaging system which means I have to log in to see it.

I'm at work and I don't know if it's something important or not and have to check and I can get in trouble for being on my phone too much.

Please don't think this is me saying I have no responsibility over my children's behaviour in school, of course I do but I feel that I do not need to recieve a text every time one of them is late to arrive to a lesson when I've got them into school on time.

In my day there were teachers in the hall to usher kids to their lessons?

OP posts:
User79853257976 · 10/06/2024 18:43

Sanction the em at home and warn them about what will happen if you get more messages.

We do usher them but also have lessons to get to and some of them pretend we don’t exist.

Zoommeout · 10/06/2024 18:39

WappityWabbit · 10/06/2024 14:46

Why are schools wasting time sending pointless texts?

Haven't they got better things to do such as teach the children?

It’s automated. when the teacher takes the register, the texts get sent out.

Parents SHOULD know their child is disrupting not only their own learning, but of their peers too. It’s not acceptable.
The behaviour of school children is getting worse , hence why teachers are leaving the profession , and your children are being taught by cover supervisors instead.

OP if you don’t want the text, make sure your kids turn up to lesson on time ,like the rest of the students, instead of making excuses for them .

Parent.

fatphalange · 10/06/2024 18:36

CustardySergeant · 10/06/2024 16:37

fatphalange · Today 11:09 "They are letting you know so that when you're inevitably brought into a meeting and if it continues, prosecuted, you can't say you didn't know there were attendance issues."

You think the OP could be prosecuted if her children continue to be late to lessons, although she always ensures they are never late to school? Really?

Yep. If attendance dips to under a certain percentage then of course parents will be fined or in the worst case, given a custodial sentence. It's not down to the individual school but the local authority. Persistent lateness counts towards unauthorised absences. Did you not know this?
I'm saying this as a parent. Not in any way related to the above professions. I thought everyone knew this.

MidnightMusing5 · 10/06/2024 18:34

Schools are there to TEACH your children - not parent them. That’s your job. YABVU

Nigellasstickytoffeepudding · 10/06/2024 18:29

Turn the app push notifications off.

If its important they will call.

Johnhasalongmoustache · 10/06/2024 18:28

I think in Loco is no longer valid.

I don’t know.. but you would expect the support of the parents would you and if my child was missing lessons every day several times?

I’d be going into school to have a meeting and telling my kid to sort themselves out

Georgyporky · 10/06/2024 18:26

I thought teachers were in loco parentis when kids were in school. and therefore responsible for discipline etc.

Johnhasalongmoustache · 10/06/2024 18:26

Maybe, if you don’t like the regime of that school, you could try out a different one

Johnhasalongmoustache · 10/06/2024 18:25

I can’t believe that people think it is unreasonable of a school to ask a parent to make sure their kid does as they’re told at school

Johnhasalongmoustache · 10/06/2024 18:24

Sounds like your kid is being an utter pain in the arse and here you are arguing the toss

Beautiful3 · 10/06/2024 18:24

Tell your kids to stop hanging around and to go in. The problem obviously lies with your children. Teachers aren't responsible for making them come into school.

MrsBurtMacklin · 10/06/2024 18:00

It's so depressing that so many shy (non commenting) people have voted yanbu. Any wonder behaviour is a shit show and getting worse every year.

BobbyBiscuits · 10/06/2024 17:57

@Sahara123 yes, I understand that. If it's classed as truancy it will add up though. Just say they didn't let patents know until the kid was missing hours a week, then bombarded them with fines etc. that would be worse.

Confrontayshunme · 10/06/2024 17:53

CammyChameleon · 10/06/2024 11:28

I think YANBU because really, you don't need to be automatically texted umpteen times, a teacher should email/call you for a discussion if your kid/kids have a problem with consistent lateness within the school.

As for PP saying "if there were something important, the school would phone"...not necessarily...

DS2's school had boiler issues earlier this year, involving kids being sent home as soon as they turned up (sometimes by bus/taxi), being told "it's fixed" then an hour later "it broke again" etc.

All the communication from the school was via the app - when I phoned the school about arrangements for DS2, they didn't pass it on and his teacher messaged me on the app about it!

But how would say, a science teacher, know your child has been late to maths, geography or history?

Longma · 10/06/2024 17:51

WappityWabbit · 10/06/2024 14:46

Why are schools wasting time sending pointless texts?

Haven't they got better things to do such as teach the children?

I doubt it is the same people sending the texts as who are teaching tbh.

And quite likely that it's an automated system, so no one is actually sending them.

Do you believe punctuality to be pointless in all areas of life? Or just when it's teenagers who can't get to lessons in time distrusting the learning of other children and the work of their teacher?

Sahara123 · 10/06/2024 17:49

Jellycatspyjamas · 10/06/2024 15:45

Our school sends these texts so we know if our child is routinely late and to stop internal truanting where they attend for registration and opt out of classes thereafter. As a parent I want to know if my child isn’t where they should be, not least so I can deal with their behaviour.

Thank you @Jellycatspyjamas

Longma · 10/06/2024 17:48

In my day there were teachers in the hall to usher kids to their lessons?

When I was at school most parents back up school sanctions at home. If you were in trouble at school then you were also going to be in trouble at home.

When I was at school there wasn't quite the shortage of secondary school teachers, and school resources/funding, as there seems to be now.

MrsBurtMacklin · 10/06/2024 17:47

SwingTheMonkey · 10/06/2024 10:59

Kids, I’m fed up with constantly receiving messages saying you’re late to class. Either start being punctual, or the sanction at home will be x, y or z…

This. Do you know how disruptive it is to a lesson when children are late? The knock on effect it has on behaviour of other students? The learning time they miss?
Schools who text like this are rightly making the behaviour of some children their parents problem. It's already a problem for the teachers and other students. You need to deal with it at home.

Sahara123 · 10/06/2024 17:43

BobbyBiscuits · 10/06/2024 15:48

How does the school know whether you dropped them on time or not? A lot of kids probably make their own way and the message is generic. I presume it's BC the kid could be disciplined, and if absence gets severe then you could face a fine or whatever. So they need to let parents know. If your kid is generating those messages, it's meant to annoy you to an extent so you try and make them not be late. Don't be annoyed at the school.

Edited

This is between lessons, walking from one lesson to another.

Longma · 10/06/2024 17:42

SwingTheMonkey · 10/06/2024 10:59

Kids, I’m fed up with constantly receiving messages saying you’re late to class. Either start being punctual, or the sanction at home will be x, y or z…

This.

Sanctions at home as their lateness is starting to affect your work life.
If their actions are causing you issues, then they get sanctions at home.
Consequence of their actions.

They don't want the sanctions - they get to lessons on time.

Caravaggiouch · 10/06/2024 17:40

Maybe complain to your children that them not getting their arses to lessons on time is resulting in these texts, rather than complaining to the school that you’re receiving them. They’re all at least 11, they need to get their shit together to be on time to lessons. What are they doing that’s making them late?

PetulantPenguin · 10/06/2024 17:40

Honestly I just wouldnt read them during the day. The school would call if there was an emergency.

Sahara123 · 10/06/2024 17:38

GeneralPeter · 10/06/2024 14:37

If this becomes extreme, of course the school should raise it with the parent.

But imagine I take my nieces to the park, while my sister takes my child out to a museum. There's a bit of low-level misbehaviour on both trips.

Which approach is going to be more effective:
i) I "parent" my nieces on the spot, admonish and guide them as needed. My sister does likewise for my child.
ii) She and I spend the day WhatsApping each other when our respective children do something naughty?

I think option i) is clearly more effective. Which one would you advocate?

Edited
Show quote history

But imagine this happening every day and by multiple pupils ? When your job is to teach said pupils. It gets very wearing and is unfair on the rest of them who easily manage to get to class promptly.

Dweetfidilove · 10/06/2024 17:11

AIstolemylunch · 10/06/2024 16:37

What are the chances that all 3 children are constantly late for almost every lesson? This sounds like a technology problem / mis-reporting to me.

That’s entirely possible. The OP hasn’t mentioned that the school have been wrong on the occasions they have messaged her, so maybe she will find this is the case when she follows up with the school.

georgiedas · 10/06/2024 17:03

luckylavender · 10/06/2024 11:00

Honestly schools can't win. Parent your children

This.