Dating short men

I clearly said most not all.
Would be for others to judge.
My previous post made it clear I do not view myself as nice.

You are allowed to have preferences! Diversity and fairness isn’t a thing in dating. If you don’t want to date a certain type of person, tall short race hair colour disability anything at all, it’s entirely your choice. After all if they don’t get you moist it’s never going to work is it

my advice to that poster… to ignore

I don’t practise what i preach

which is then odd to say most of the nice guys are married by 30

So you’re one of the precious few that bucked the trend

presuming of course you regard yourself as “nice”

Yes
Yes
So why aren't you?
Would be for others to.judge I suppose but I don't feel I am.

I married at 40.

50 % won't so that reduces the availability of decent men over 30.

i’ll take a punt

You were married before you were 30

and your view of what is a “nice guy” is likely rather different from a woman’s

Man
mid fifties
best ignored
probably very creepy in RL

And half will of them will end up divorced, so either they don't turn out so nice after all, or they'll be back on the market for anyone who missed them first time round.

Just want to add in- my son is way more that 6 foot and he thinks lots of women discount him for being TOO tall. So there is a sweet spot somewhere between 6 foot and too tall!

Dated a couple of shorter men . One I got turned off because he made such big deal out of it. The other not at all.

Just don't wear heels as much

What makes you say that?

Could you refer to the posts I've made and I'll respond to them.

I try to be a decent person.
It would be for others to judge whether I am.

This poster has a real chip on his shoulder about post-30 single women, just FYI.

Because most of the other women are also looking for the specific height requirements, so you've got lots of competition and the 6ft+ men are likely to be snapped up very quickly.

did / do you regard yourself as one of the “nice guys”?

We'll disagree on this on.

There are plenty of nice guys around. Most are married by the age of 30.

No. I think that's just the myth men comfort themselves with. Ime being a dickhead is very inclusive, absolutely barriers to short ugly men taking up that role, as very many do, with enthusiasm. Equally I know many men who manage to skillfully combine being tall and handsome with being very nice indeed.

Either you're attracted to him or you're not. Doesn't matter if its his height that's putting you off, you can't make yourself attracted to him. But, it sounds like you're making the height a thing, even though you do like him?

Well, yes, exactly.

Any criterion cuts out a percentage of the population. 'Must enjoy hiking'. 'Must love Sex and the City' 'Must be crazy about Thai food'. They'll all take out a greater chunk than 'must be at least six foot'.

So any criterion makes it harder, and the more you have, the harder it is.

But a physical type is no more exclusionary than anything else.

Or course 'must be precisely 6 one-and-a-half' is going to make it tough. But then so is 'must love hiking in Epping Forest in the rain'. Or liking Pina Coladas.

I actually wonder how dating apps work.

If dating app filters ranked things of importance

[ If four personality criteria are match, then disregard height preference ]

then surely a lot of good men are filtered out because they’re sub 6’ ?

or is it that OP and others eventually recognise they’re filtering out 80% of the app; so they drop the height requirement filter, start matching with nice people, but then grumble they’re not tall?!

@Shinefast you sound like me! I'm 5ft 2 and recently started dating a man I'd consider not my type physically. He's very lean (but muscular) and short for my normal type. But I have absolutely fallen for him as a person and none of that matters now. I'm very attracted to him as a whole package now. I did have to push through my initial feelings on his looks as he's so different to my normal type but I'm so glad I did. Maybe try a couple more dates and see how you feel?

Because nobody's criteria are just "must be over 6 feet tall" - that's something added to all the other usual requirements.

It just so happens that the height requirement immediately discards 85.5% of the population before all of the other requirements are applied. If that's not making it "more of a struggle", I don't know what is.

I wish there was some kind of data visualisation which correlates three data points:

• height of the seeker (let’s say 5’2 for example)
• their relative attractiveness in conventional standards (let’s say they’re average)
• the height of the man they seek (over 6ft usually!)

And then we can from this, learn the success rates.

There are so many people who I think in their minds want 6’1” and more….and yet those guys theoretically can have the pick of anyone they want , and are conditioned to think so as height is so overstated by British women in dating.

so either they look past height in the end, (and do so because someone is compelling in online chat or in real life)…

.. or they spend ages looking for “Mr Right” because they waste time trying to validate themselves with guys who have dozens more options than them, and take them.