Dating short men

I wouldn't be interested in a short man at all. I'm 5'10 myself so...

I'm not attracted to very tall men either. Between 5'9 and 6'1 is perfect for me, I don't mind him being a little bit shorter as long as he can cope with me wearing heels.

I don't want to feel 'protected' by a big man, I want to feel equal. DH is 5'11, so just right for me.

Some of the comments on this thread

You are not being unreasonable, and you know best what is right for you. For me, a shorter man would have to offer a lot in order for me to look past the height (I am also short but this does not matter). My husband is 6'2, and surprisingly also considerate, kind, funny and intelligent. It's not either or.

I mean it doesn’t matter is the truth unless it matters to you an if it really does then don’t fuck him about.

forgetting that for a minute though you are mentioning other things that are putting you off so do you actually like him and want to give another date a chance or is it actually that this amongst other things have put him in the not for me category but you are trying to push past it as you feel guilty that this is one of the things in the list so your ignoring other stuff?

Height might be quite important in terms of instantaneous physical attraction.

But it isn't a great predictor of whether someone is going to be a good life partner. It doesn't say anything about whether someone is loyal, kind, forgiving, hardworking, entertaining to be with, will be a good parent, responsible, has good ethics etc.

So if you filter people based on height (which is your privilege) don't be surprised if they turn out to be lacking in some other aspect of their personality/relationship behaviour.

I get the impression you're just not that into him in general. I think if you were his height wouldn't matter as much. I had a pal who insisted she'd only date men over 6'. She's now married to a guy who is 5'8" because they just clicked perfectly and suddenly him being shorter didn't matter at all.

It's ok to not be physically attracted to someone. Is it a bit shallow? Yes. Is it ok to be a bit shallow when you're picking the person you're going to be shagging for the rest of your life? Also yes!

My mum is 5'7" and my dad is 5'4". They have been happily married for 55 years now

My husband is only a few inches taller than me and I find it preferable to dating taller men. So much more comfortable to kiss etc!
But also, I'm not shallow so it wouldn't really have bothered me anyway, and I have dated a mix of tall and short men over the years.
I also like guys that aren't flaky or worried about committing to a relationship if they like me.
But if you're going to be plagued by doubts over this guys height then let him go. Tbh the 'coming on too strong' thing sounds like an excuse to ditch him because you're already turned off by his height. Would you be getting the ick if someone 6ft was really into you?

I am 5'8 and hit my adult height at 12. My height was constantly commented upom, I was the tallest amongst friends and class mates and I always felt like some deformed, oversized oaf. Of course within a few years some people had overtaken my height. However the feeling of being inadequately tall has never left me. I feel particularly huge next to men who are shorter than me so I could never consider them as a romantic or sexual partner. This is 100% my issue, I have tried but I honestly can't get over it.

For me it's not about height but confidence. How they carry themselves. Also about body type.
I hate feeling like a big lump next to a man 🤣 I'm 5'6 and I dated a guy once who was 5'4. He was absolutely lovely but very slight aswell and I don't think it helped that he stooped a bit.
I had to be honest with myself that it was a deal-breaker.
In contrast, my uni boyfriend was 5'6, gorgeous, had a nice body and was good in bed! I remember thinking about his height when we started dating. I'm so glad I kept going out with him!
So weigh things up but keep an open mind. It's a shame to reject a man because of his height if everything else is good.

If you're not really attracted to him for any reason, just end it and move on. There's no point trying to push for him to be something he's not.

On the one hand, if you get along really well you shouldn't dismiss him over height. On the other hand, you owe him absolutely nothing. If your gut is telling you're not keen, then break it off. You don't need a reason!

My DH is 5'6", I'm 5'7". I always used to date much taller men. I met him on Tinder and it was supposed to be a one night stand....we got along so well, it changed my tune and I fell head over heels....so it can happen!

Him being overly keen is odd, I wouldn't want to be suffocated so early on. You know yourself, listen to your instincts.

I agree, give a couple more dates and see if it becomes a none issue.

As a side point women tend to be attracted to men taller than other men not taller then them.
But height is not that important to longer term happiness for most of us.

Don't waste this guy's time trying to convince yourself you think he's attractive in spite of something that he can't change. That's not fair and will make it a worse disappointment for him if he's invested more time and feelings on you by the time you accept you don't like the way he looks.

My boyfriend is 5’6, his height doesn’t bother me, more interested in his personality and kindness I am attracted to him he’s handsome and lovely and a genuinely nice person. So many women before me had a problem with his height, their loss makes no difference to anything & when lying or sitting down you don’t even notice it. Tall can be attractive but short is too people can’t help what height they grow to.

I'm 5'4 DH is 5'6. Non issue for me. But if you're not attracted to him, you're not attracted to him - it's not really something you can force.

I am obviously extremely bias but my 15 year old son is the kindest, most thoughtful and empathetic person I know. He is going to be short as me and his dad are both short so I know lots of women will rule him out as a partner in the future but he treats people so well I honestly think women will be missing out. He helps 2 girls at school with their anxiety. He has punched someone once and that is when someone tried to attack his friend and had called his friend a racist name. He stood up for him.

He is handsome and dresses well, intelligent and he wants to be a dr so he would basically be doing a job that emphasises how caring he is. I still worry he won't get much female attention.
So... give the short man a chance if you fancy him. If you can't get past it and don't fancy him then don't go on another date as it's a waste of his time.

You can control being fat. You can’t control your height. Those really aren’t comparable.

No, there are many people with conditions or on certain medications which means they cant control their weight.

You can control being fat. You can’t control
your height. Those really aren’t comparable.

But also, people are allowed to be attracted to anyone they want, for any reason. And also to not be attracted to them. For any reason.

Ditto!

I’m 5”3 and dating someone who is 5”9. Shortest guy I dated was 5”6 but he wasn’t very nice and after a couple dates, that was enough. It made his height even worse because I didn’t like him much AND he was short! Current guy would be the 2nd shortest. It took a minute to get used to the hugs 😂 because I’m so used to much taller men but he is absolutely worth the minute it took to get used to it. He’s amazing, and height really doesn’t matter if you’re happy. If you like the guy, give it a chance.

I think it's a bit shallow. But if you're not attracted to him, you cant force it.

If you found out a man you got on well with had turned you down because you were too fat or something, would you be fine with that and understand?

I only ever went out with one guy shorter than me, he was a computer fixer so only ever communicated with him whilst we were both sat down and never noticed his height, he called me for a date and when I opened the door to him I was surprised he was so much shorter than me, turns out he had a chip on his shoulder about his height, muttering to himself about why he didn't get served at the bar at a timely manner and blamed his height and not standing out, anyway that alone turned me off big time, no idea if he'd been a wonderful date whether I would have got past the fact he was a couple of inches shorter than me.

Also my dad had a huge chip on his shoulder about being short, not an attractive trait, maybe that alone put me off subconsciously..

I just love being shorter than my husband, it just feels right.

But he is taller than you are. Imagine if you were 6'2............ The chances of you finding someone even the same height would be much reduced, never mind someone significantly taller.
I am tall for a woman: When I was a child I imagined that Mr Right would be significantly taller than me - my husband is less than half an inch shorter.......we've been married over 30 years....... sometimes you just have to compromise.

For some reason, being tall has really become established as a major source of social capital in the app dating world. It's hard not to internalise that narrative and it doesn't mean you're shallow beyond redemption. But dating apps are the absolute trenches and if you find someone who ticks your boxes in every other way, it'd be foolish to reject him on this basis as it could be ages before another one comes along! If it's the 'manliness' of a man that you're attracted to, I absolutely think short men can fulfil that. By chance I ended up with someone who is 6', but when I was dating I dated shorter men too and found some of them really attractive.

So in this case I'd call him out on that in a jokey way - if he gets the message and retreats then you can continue as you were, see how it goes. If he gets arsey then you know where you are.