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Original poster

Do you find this comment rude/hurtful?

140 replies

Greenwithenvyblues · 10/06/2024 10:02

I was out with a friend yesterday for a meal. I wore a dress without any tights or anything. She looked at my legs and went “omg you are so pale!! I’d hate to be as white as you” 😳 sorry whattttt! I just laughed because I was shocked. I’m not extremely offended or anything but why would anyone say that? How rude!

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 10/06/2024 11:10

From what you’ve said about her it doesn’t sound like she respects you or particularly values your friendship.

Rickrolypoly · 10/06/2024 11:06

I didn't think it was acceptable to make derogatory comments on someone's skin colour. What exactly is wrong with white skin?

She doesn't sound like a very nice person or good friend.

Wontubemysweetheart · 10/06/2024 11:04

HateMyRubbishBoss · 10/06/2024 10:54

on the offensive scale this is definitely bottom

but… that’s the reason people should refrain from criticising someone’s appearance . Absolutely no need to!

Exactly this no need at all to say it!

SpringerFall · 10/06/2024 10:57

A random person in the street yeah may think odd, a friend no would not even give a second thought

You want to be upset so what is the point of asking?

VolvoFan · 10/06/2024 10:55

YANBU, that was pretty rude, but not something worth getting wound up over. I don't like bare-legging it for this reason; snarky comments about my skin tone. I am quite pale with naturally rosy cheeks. It doesn't help if you're already quite self-conscious about your looks and appearance anyway.

HateMyRubbishBoss · 10/06/2024 10:54

on the offensive scale this is definitely bottom

but… that’s the reason people should refrain from criticising someone’s appearance . Absolutely no need to!

Wontubemysweetheart · 10/06/2024 10:54

Of course it's rude.. who even says that and expects a good reaction? A friend asked to borrow a jumper at mine, when I brought one down to her she held it in the air as high as it would go and cried "oh my god it's massive, I couldn't ever get this fat"... speechless I was.. speechless. By the way it was a size 12 jumper. 🤣

Wotcher · 10/06/2024 10:51

I’m pale, it doesn’t bother me as such because that’s what I’m meant to look like. But any comment on someone’s appearance is a delicate matter, and to say it in such clearly derogatory terms is an insult. So yes, it was rude and it’s fair for you to be offended.

OnlyFoolsAndHamsters · 10/06/2024 10:49

That's rude as fuck! Like you say it's the "I'd hate to be as __ you" part. I'm someone who normally rolls their eyes at everyone being offended about everything too, but that is just plain rude! What a shite.

Willmafrockfit · 10/06/2024 10:48

i would say Pale and Interesting.

she sounds tactless and ignorant.

Puddock1 · 10/06/2024 10:47

That’s so rude and uncalled for. Perhaps she is jealous of you and trying to make herself feel better by putting you down.

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:47

Greenwithenvyblues · 10/06/2024 10:40

She’s changed a lot since college. I did “fall out” with her a lot at that age. But always went back to her because she was pretty much my only friend lol and I did enjoy spending time with her when she was being normal. She hasn’t been like that for years until this comment

Show quote history

Then tell her that comment was really rude and ununnecessary and not something a friend says about or to another friend.

I'm afraid I suspect she hasn't changed, you're just not hearing it. Someone doesn't go from joking about how fat and ugly someone is to being their actual friend without a proper come to Jesus moment.

CorylusAgain · 10/06/2024 10:47

Greenwithenvyblues · 10/06/2024 10:09

It’s the “I’d hate to be as white as you” that I think is rude. Like I say, I’m not massively offended but I’d never say to someone “I’d hate to be as _ as you” whether you’re offended or not, surely that’s still a rude comment to make to someone?

Absolutely that part is rude.

AllAboardTootToot · 10/06/2024 10:46

Id have gone right back with, ‘ at least my skin can tan, shame to be stuck with that face of yours….’

Watch the reaction and say ‘exactly’, don’t be such a judgemental cow!

I will never get people who think it’s ok to be this pass remarkable!

PurpleLamb · 10/06/2024 10:44

She sounds hideous. Why are you friends with her? I'd ditch her and anyone else who says negative things about you/your body.

Original poster
Greenwithenvyblues · 10/06/2024 10:40

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:39

Oh, she just sounds like an out-and-out bitch. She's no friend. Why do you spend time with her?

She’s changed a lot since college. I did “fall out” with her a lot at that age. But always went back to her because she was pretty much my only friend lol and I did enjoy spending time with her when she was being normal. She hasn’t been like that for years until this comment

OP posts:
OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:39

Oh, she just sounds like an out-and-out bitch. She's no friend. Why do you spend time with her?

Original poster
Greenwithenvyblues · 10/06/2024 10:37

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:30

Is she generally a bit of a negger?

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I’m not sure what that means… just googled it. She’s always been a bit… off. Once she told me that she described me to the rest of her friends as “fat and ugly” because she thought it would be funny when they eventually saw me and saw that I’m not. Like.. that’s just not normal is it? In college she knew a guy liked me and so she wrote on my Facebook wall “seeing as you are in love with (name) I think you should ask him out” I begged her to take it down because I knew he would see the comment and didn’t want him to think I liked him back and give him false hope. Plus it was just embarrassing! But the more I asked her to take it down, the more she laughed

OP posts:
Jeschara · 10/06/2024 10:35

It's the last sentence that is the problem. She was rude and personnel. Why did she think she could say this too you. I think to be honest it's a put down.
It's unfortunate but the moment to say did you mean to be so offensive has passed.
She may just have a big mouth.

JamesPringle · 10/06/2024 10:31

"Well I'd hate to be as insensitive as you"

AlwaysBlowingLightbulbs · 10/06/2024 10:31

Wouldn't bother me , in fact I'd agree how pale I am .
I have ghostly legs and never wear tights

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:30

Greenwithenvyblues · 10/06/2024 10:29

She’s never said anything like this before. But she isn’t particularly complimentary either lol

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Is she generally a bit of a negger?

Original poster
Greenwithenvyblues · 10/06/2024 10:29

OMGsamesame · 10/06/2024 10:16

Yes of course it's rude and I'd be giving her a look.

Is she normally like this?

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She’s never said anything like this before. But she isn’t particularly complimentary either lol

OP posts:
K0OLA1D · 10/06/2024 10:28

What aren't people getting. It's not the pale skin comment that's rude. I'm pale, its a fact of life, just like I am tall. It's the 'hate to be ' comment that was rude and totally uncalled for.

Superscientist · 10/06/2024 10:27

Anyone saying they would "hate" a physical feature of yours is being very rude.
I have ginger hair and very pale and love both and would take a offence to some one saying hate relative to either of those. I don't take offence when people comment on my hair and skin as long as it's not dripping with malice

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