Do you find this comment rude/hurtful?

I'm not really sure why she felt like she had the right to comment on your appearance if you didn't ask for input.
Yes it's rude. Does she normally comment negatively on other people's appearances?

I remember being on a works night out years ago. An over tanned unattractive woman in her 40s was going on about a gorgeous lass who is very pale, saying 'god you're so white' etc. Lass didn't say anything but was obviously getting annoyed. I spoke up for her, something along the lines of stfu you jealous old crone. I was a similar age to older one. Anyway she shut up. We ended up getting drunk and all had a good night.

I'm a pale ginger.

Fair enough if someone says "I'd hate to have to worry about burning as much as you do", because that bit does suck.

I don't think it's polite to say "I'd hate to have your skin colouring/nose/eye colour etc" though, it's just mean. Why would you want to make a friend self-conscious about something they can't help?

Of course she's rude.

Yes that's rude. I wouldn't be going out with her again.

She sounds very immature.

I couldn't be around someone like that.

I couldn’t get worked up about that comment, but you clearly duslike her intently, as you are on line bad mouthing her to millions . So why pretend and meet up with her as a fake friend?

I am white as the driven snow and I had a friend who religiously self tanned and used sunbeds and was very tanned. She used to make snide little comments like this about my skin a lot too, "I'm so glad I'm not so pasty" "you basically glow in the dark!" "I'm so glad I'm not so pale and freckly, it must be so crap!"

Eventually I said "Oh I don't mind, at least I won't look like a leathery old boot by the time I'm 40!" - then all of a sudden I was horrible and cruel and a bully.

With people like this, if they can take what they're dishing out I don't have a problem with it. I have a friend and we're vicious to eachother, but it's light-hearted and we both give as good as we get. If they're the type who'll dish out insults but act all wounded if you bite back, I've got no time for them.

It wouldn’t bother me but only because I’m very secure about my extremely pale skin - I burn easily so I choose to stay as pale as possible.

I know this because I had a subbed-addicted workmate who would comment on my milk bottle legs and general vampire complexion.

”You’re right, I should voluntarily damage my skin cells and increase my risk of melanoma to satisfy your tan fetish, you nutter,” was usually how it went.

She would also comment on my grey hairs. Again, I’m happy in my choices and could bat it back without a thought.

However, it is still bloody rude. Your friend is a judgemental idiot.

The sooner people stop making comments about skin colour in general the better things will be for everyone. I’ve had so many things said and some in a ‘complimentary’way and it’s still made me uncomfortable (I’m black) and I just think skin colour should not be talked about it only causes people to feel bad somehow

Get a nicer friend, she's nasty . 😏

Well imagine if you had black skin.

Would it be okay for her to say "I'd hate to be so dark as you!"

Anyone who is defending your friend, like some of the first posters on the thread, needs to think again.

I'm extremely pale and hate it but do not expect comments on it and would not be impressed by a "friend" who spoke like yours.

She's a bitch.

Rude and it’s why my legs stay covered all year round.

It’s the latter part of the comment I find rude, saying she’d hate to be as white as you makes it a put down, I would perceive that as her trying to make you feel insecure. Not a very nice thing to do

Agree. With regards to anything, saying it in the way she did is really rude and insulting.

I find it really hurtful when people comment on the colour of my skin.
I'm pink, there's no two ways about it. It's a very pale pink, but definitely pink. I go red in the sun. I absolutely loath the colour of my skin. It's not pretty.

Sometimes I feel brave enough to wear something without sleeves or get my legs out. Someone commenting saying they'd hate to look like me would be enough for me to just go home and cry.

Very rude. Quite bitchy and definitely says to upset you or make you feel self conscious!.

I had a friend like yours. We went out once and I was wearing a new dress and felt great!. She took one look and said "I'd look like mutton dressed as lamb in that outfit". I'm five years older than her.

Yeah I wouldn't like that. I knew someone who used to go on about me being pale, short etc. It was wearing and I never saw her in the Miss World line up.

Yes, exactly.

I'm extremely pale. I actually really like my pale complexion. I avoid tanning because I burn easily and I never wear fake tan because I'm perfectly happy with the colour of my skin. I've totally embraced it and it suits me.

However, it would still be really fucking rude of someone to comment on it negatively and inform me that they would hate to look like me.

Here are two nice things people have said to me about my pale skin:

"Your skin tone is so pretty, I wish I could carry off that pale English rose look."
"I love your pale skin in contrast to your dark hair - it's so striking."

By contrast, here are two horrible things people have said to me about my pale skin:

"Aren't you going to get a fake tan before you go on holiday? Why not? Are you just going to sit on the beach looking like a ghost?"
"Is it even healthy to be that colour? Are you anaemic, or do you just never go outdoors?"

If people can't see the difference, they're either lying or nuts.

I would meet that with a 'none taken' comment as a shot across the bows but if they were that rude again I'd be less polite. Don't accept that type of rudeness from friends.

She sounds as if her emotional intelligence/tact is at sea-level. I met a friend of a friend for the first time at the weekend, and while I felt her rhinestone-studded dress was distractingly awful, I managed to keep this to myself for the entire duration of drinks and a meal.

So rude.

I was bullied in the 80's for my celtic skin. It still hurts now. Your friend is a little bitch.

Tell her she upset you.

I'd assume she was jealous. I go to great lengths to avoid even a hint of a tan as I like to be as pale as possible. I'm very envious of people whose skin is even whiter than mine.