To WFH due to a headache?

You could argue that the colleague is ageist by treating the much younger OP like a child

And I would. Not acceptable either way - as I've said.

What on earth is ageist about this?

This woman is in her 60s and has been at the company for 20 years. So she isn’t afraid to say whatever she wants to people. I am in my late 20s and have only been there 6 months so I think she’s trying to act like she can tell me what to do.

The OP is simply trying to rationalise why this person feels the need to go over their manager's head and tell off the OP. This notion that age is always irrelevant is bizarre.

You could argue that the colleague is ageist by treating the much younger OP like a child.

You can still get statutory sick pay even if your employer doesn't pay.

I would also let your line manager know as they should be aware that this colleague is trying to flex muscle over their peers. I'm a manager and I'd want to know.

Also this. Definitely mention to your manager. It's completely inappropriate behaviour.

Wow. It's none of her business and she is absolutely overstepping. This has been agreed by your manager. I would tell her to do one.

I also completely disagree with the comment that your post was ageist.

I think a senior/ well established member of staff saying this to a junior colleague is actually an exploitation of power and I don't think it was wrong of you to mention her age and seniority - it actually makes it worse.

If anything, she is potentially being ageist and I wonder if she would have said this to someone older than you.

Don't let her have this power dynamic over you - you need to stand up to her and tell her to butt out.

Tbh after reading this update I would have just took tablets and gone to work so YABU for that. A headache and feeling tired isn’t really a great reason to not go into the office. If it was a migraine or where you can’t work then that would be different. However I don’t think your colleague has any right to say anything to you so she is being unreasonable also. You cleared it with your manager so just ignore colleague and anything she has to say

Ignore her.

No acknowledgement, no quibble.

She's nuts querying you so don't give crazy oxygen/validation.

I have had a lot less time off sick with migraines since WFH was an option.
The constant tapping of other peoples keyboard, whirls of their computer fans, rustle of wrappers and then the noise of the train often sent a low level migraine that I can work with if I have taken some painkillers to a bed bound migraine.
Being able to stay at home and take breaks through out the day with the time saved not commuting means I can do a days work between 8 and 6 rather than 8.30 and 4.30 when i am in the office and don't end up hiding in a dark silent room for 2 days.

See it as lesson learnt and don't share this information with her again and raise her comments with your boss.

My company has the policy that we can work from home if we are well enough to work but the commute to work would tip you into not being able to work. Or if you feel ok in the morning but the trajectory of the illness means there's a chance you won't be well enough in the afternoon.

Just ignore her. If you respond to her along the lines suggested here there is the danger it will escalate and things will become unpleasant. As you say that mostly she is fine, it's probably a case of least said soonest mended. By not responding, you take the wind out of her sails.

Hi Colleague,

Thanks for checking in on me, but I have cleared this with line manager so no need for you to be concerned.

Thank you,

Paperplace.

I would also let your line manager know as they should be aware that this colleague is trying to flex muscle over their peers. I'm a manager and I'd want to know.

@bridgetreilly not necessarily if you WFH you can avoid the commute, work in a quieter environment and spread out breaks during the day. If you don't have a client facing role and not on calls all day it's far easier to manage your day and energy levels at home. Obviously not all roles lend themselves to that but plenty do.

Why don’t you get paid for sick days? I think that’s illegal.

I think you are either too ill to work, in which case you take a sick day, or not, in which case you go in. Unless it’s something contagious but no real symptoms, when you wfh for everyone else’s benefit.

Fair enough - but we see a lot of the stereotype of the older woman on here - the woman who is "out of touch", "set in her ways", "thinks she can tell us all what to do". It doesn't do anyone any favours - especially women. And often the person who has been there years has seen it all before - several times. Doesn't mean they are right but doesn't mean they should be dismissed either.

Ageism works the other way too - I see a lot of the "snowflake" stereotypes - which I also take issue with.

Your colleague doesn't sound very nice - that's true, but she was probably not very nice when she was in her twenties, thirties and forties too.

(Our organization is really good about WFH and I always do when I feel below par - not having to do the commute and being able to lie down at lunch time makes a huge difference)

You are unwell - reasonable to work from home and your boss says yes. No issue.
The only reason you opened this thread is - I suspect - to make an ageist comment about your colleague.

I’d say…

Hi Jenny

If Gary (boss) doesn’t have an issue, I can’t see why you do???

Then I’d say to Gary later, ‘Sorry about today, hope it didn’t leave anyone in the lurch with me WFH, I was fine to work but my head was banging and I had no sleep, I felt dreadful. It’s just Jenny is giving me loads of stick, saying everyone has to be in on office days and that a headache isn’t contagious. I got everything done as normal and I’m feeling better, I’ll be in the office tomorrow.

Standard for us to WFH when sick. If you’re REALLY sick like ‘can’t send an email’ sick then you say so, but just a shitty cold or a bad headache or something, it’s generally accepted that you might be a wee bit less than full power but you’ll do bits and pieces from home. It works really well for us

"If you're too ill to come in, then you shouldn't be working at all" is a load of rubbish. If you have a long commute or the office is loud or bright it can make you feel so much worse so being able to work from home and get the job done is great. I have WFH on days when I'm too ill to come in the office but can actually do the job. Being able to WFH and getting a few extra hours in bed, being near your own toilet, staying in comfy clothes when you're ill is priceless and hopefully helps you get better quicker.

She is overstepping for sure - I’ve worked from home because I’ve felt a bit poorly before, probably not ill enough to be off sick but certainly not feeling up to getting on public transport.

I understand it’s a privilege to have a job you can do this in, but I would assume it would be the same for her so don’t get why she thinks it’s her place to give you a hard time.

Yeah exactly. I'm asthmatic and get awful coughs with every cold. My health improved significantly when I moved to a more flexible job (long before covid) and could skip the commute, stay in my warm house and rest physically while doing my work. Started doing that as soon as I felt a cold starting and my rate of chest infections went way down.

I don't get this "if you're too ill to come in then you're too ill to work" stance. I have ibs, if it flares up badly then I can't do my 3 hour commute on public transport but I can work from home where I have a toilet accessible at all times. If I have a headache, like the OP, I can sleep in until 9am instead of 6.30am and have a nap in my lunch break.

And what about colds? Being able to wfh helps limit the spread of viruses. One of the key benefits of wfh is the flexibility it offers. So the colleague should butt her nose out and realise this isn't the 1990s anymore.