To be absolutely sick of DH's family poisoning him with gluten

your husband is an adult! He should stop eating their food!

We deal with veggie/non-veggie by draining/serving in a set order - veggie first, so the utensils are always clean for the veggie. We all need to at least do this- having a separate set is ideal, though, if we have the space to store them.

It's also about more than just managing these acute episodes of illness. The continuous injury to the small intestine caused at each gluten exposure, can put coeliacs at higher risk of bowel cancer. I agree with PPs that he needs to take control and stop accepting their food, as it could have much bigger health implications in future if he keeps being exposed to gluten. His small bowel is never having a chance to heal properly. Good luck xx

Agree with this. Sorry - if it keeps on happening, he needs to set up and take ownership.

It's a shame his family don't seem to have taken the time to really understand his condition, but as an adult, he needs to take responsibility for his health. It's on him as ultimately, he's the one it affects, with a knock on effect to you and dc.

I,m coeliac as is my sibling and my family does this too. We refuse to ear anything there and don't care if they are offended.

You (your husband, really) are potentially being unreasonable if you haven't fully educated them about this. I had no idea until recently that using a fan oven could contaminate food with gluten, for example. A lot of people wouldn't know about potential cross contamination from using wooden utensils. The beer thing was definitely bad but the glutening at the sister's meal might have been a genuine cross contamination mistake and it was reasonable for a non-coeliac to assume the gluten free stuff on a menu would be ok (although of course you know that's not always the case). He has to take responsibility and be very clear about what they need to do, if he's going to eat there. Or he has to not eat there. And he has the ability to say he doesn't trust the food at a restaurant and wants to go somewhere else.

Nowhere near the same level of severity, but DD’s paternal family did this repeatedly with her lactose intolerance. Declared certain foods safe knowing damn fine they weren’t. She ended up so ill she’s refused to ever see them again, contaminating anyone’s food is unforgivable.

Things like beer will often have no mention of gluten, only barley, similarly rye. Then there's oats which are only ok for coeliacs if they're gluten free certified (and some can't tolerate oats either). Its definitely not as simple as just looking for gluten on an ingredients list. I have to tell my mum to look for gluten, barley, rye, oats but then say oats are ok if they also have a gluten free label. Then you have the products that contain wheat starch but can still be labelled gluten free.

He needs to take responsibility for his own choices.

They must be idiots, I’d find it hard to respect them to be honest. I cooked for a coeliac tonight so I cleaned the surfaces, opened a new peanut butter since toast knives would have gone in the open one, left out dark soy sauce and double checked any ingredients I don’t use every day like onion powder.

My friend is coeliac* *and she said what people don’t understand is that coeliacs aren’t just on a gluten free diet they have a disease. When going to restaurants she has to explain that utensils can’t be shared as cross contamination makes her ill. Most chefs understand and are very careful.

I contacted a very popular restaurant in our town and they said they had a gluten free menu. When we arrived she was presented with a vegan menu! They clearly didn’t understand.

I would say call any restaurants yourself beforehand and have a conversation with them.

Maybe your husband shouldn’t even consider eating food from a pie shop due to the high risk of cross contamination.

Don’t eat at his parents home. They obviously find it too difficult to make suitable gluten free meals for your husband. I found out that even things like some beetroot’s on jars, sauces and other things have wheat in them so you have to be really careful.

Your DH already knows most ofvwhat he can/can't eat.

It's a shame his family won't cater for him. Personally, I have lots of acquaintances with lots of different dietary needs, and I love to include everyone when I cook. If I was feeding someone with coeliac, I would actually give them the recipe ingredients ahead of time, and any steps I take to avoid cross contamination, to check they can eat it - or if they need me to do something differently.

I would never be offended if someone chose to bring their own food (although I would work harder in future at trying to make things they can eat). If anyone is offended at someone with an allergy bringing their own food, they really need a long hard look at themselves.

I voted she was being U, because her DH isn't being proactive. He should be asking questions. How many times is he prepared to get ill before he decides to take his own food, or have a proper conversation with his family about it.

I can’t believe 17% think you are being U, this is awful. Just stop eating there if they can’t make safe foods for him.

My DD is coeliac and it's not difficult to cater for at all. I don't understand how non coeliac people think it's such an inconvenience. When my DD is home from uni I just make the whole meal GF. Your in-laws clearly have no understanding about CD and your husband is crackers eating their food with such a high risk of cross-contamination or gluten being in the meal. Why on earth does he eat their food?

As many others have said I think his only option is to stop eating there or take his own food going forward.

I think the biggest issue is many people think coeliac is just lack being vegetarian or lactose intolerance or gluten intolerant whwre foods just upset or don't agree, or where it's a lifestyle choice. Until my mum was diagnosed I probably thought this too, they don't realise it's actually an autoimmune condition and can cause lasting effects.

It's frustrating his family can't get it together, and pretty poor restaurants are serving foods as gluten free when there is cross contamination taking place but unfortunately it sounds like he will just have to take it into his own hands

It's very different to be fair with a lot more scope for accidental error. The beer marinade, ok, that was stupid but you can't make a vegan seriously ill from using the wrong implement or serving foods too close together. It actually sounds from update like the sister has tried re ingredients but cross contamination has happened.

Tbh if I was to cater for any coeliacs (I don't know any) I would probably, with apologies offer either the best ready made GF meal I could buy, or ask them to bring their own as I make sourdough in a smallish kitchen and wouldn't feel confident about cross contamination from the flour even after a good clean

He can call restaurants and ask about their GF processes though

I have some sympathy. There are small amounts of gluten in some really unexpected things, condiments etc. Most people simply don't realise how little contamination can make someone really unwell.

Its very very difficult. Friends i have who are coeliac tend to do one of 3 things

• host & cook themselves
• take their own food
• take the lead in asking to see recipes or offering changes/substitutions
• ask about restaurants ahead of time and suggest alternatives

It sounds like his family don't take it seriously. Maybe they think it's another fad.

Unfortunately, coeliac that isn't managed well can make someone VERY sick, never mind when Diabetes is involved!

Your DH needs to set stronger boundaries and take food for himself.

Sounds like his mum needs a reminder of what is and what is not ok and to read the label of absolutely every ingredient as many things that you would not expect to contain gluten, do in fact contain it. Also that whilst the alcohol may cook off, the gluten won’t magically disappear.

5yrs is a long time for them not to have a handle on it!

Tbh I wouldn't be giving something cooked in beer to someone with diabetes, let alone coeliac disease.

DH has always had migraines. Totally out of it for about 12 hours. Not so much after we were married unless we visited his family. Thought it was stress until I realised it was his mother’s home made brew. He didn’t like it but didn’t want to be rude.

Then your DH needs to be more proactive, he needs to ask questions about every single thing. If he had gravy with the beef he needs to ask what did they use to thicken it ? Etc.

I don't understand how they can keep getting this so wrong! My adult son is Vegan, and I have never served him anything that's non Vegan (since he became vegan). I read the packets of everything. It's actually quite surprising how many Vegetarian foods are not suitable for Vegans. But if you read the ingredients, it's not difficult to buy the right stuff. 😳

The cross contamination issue is major as well.

My daughter in law was glutened because I drained her gf pasta in a culander that had been used for normal pasta.

I have a whole separate cupboard of only gluten free implements now.