To be absolutely sick of DH's family poisoning him with gluten

Worcester sauce has no place in shakshuka.

Yes we put it on a small separate table when we had a family party. Also put a sign on to say GF food please don't take if you are not GF.

My SIL is cealiac. When we had a family party I asked about preparing the food. Also recommendations what she likes. I did get her a few treats as well that she never asked for and she said she enjoyed them.

But we cleaned down all surfaces and prepared her food first so it wasn't contaminated. We kept it separate to the rest of the food while we prepared that. There was no complaints from her.

We were in a restaurant once she was told the chips were GF. She could tell they must have been cooked in the same oil which they confirmed had been. They offered her a jacket potato instead.

This may be different for different people with coeliac disease - but from the 3 people I know with the condition, as soon as they were told that "everything down one side of the table is gluten free", they would know they couldn't eat ANYTHING from that table because it was way too near gluten containing foods and there was a major risk it has shared preparation space with gluten. Your hubby is clearly happy to risk being ill when you go to his family. You need to discuss this with him, but unfortunately if he doesn't see the aftermath as "not worth it" there's probably not a lot you can do! All I guess you could do is trust that he'll manage with the aftermath of his decision... he's a grown man, you can't stop him taking risks. Maybe, just maybe having made himself ill this week which will be especially tricky, will make him re-evaluate his risk taking.

My son in law is gluten intolerant. It is not difficult to produce a gluten free meal so they either don't care or he is not being honest with them when he has symptoms after eating their food. Honestly if I was your DH I would take my own food and not eat theirs and refuse to eat at any restaurant without checking GF options first.

I don't understand why he keeps eating there when he knows they aren't capable of providing and gluten free meal and he's ill everytime.
He will have to take his own food - there's no other way round it.
It's life-changing unfortunately. I have a friend who is going through this having been recently diagnosed and it's really really hard.

It’s bizarre that your husband still goes given they keep on ‘poisoning’ him.

It’s on him to decide what to do.

Once is an accident but multiple times shows they are careless or don’t take it seriously enough. He should just tell them due to the gluten and T1 he’ll bring his own food in future. He should then take his own food and warm it up in their oven and not eat anything they have prepared for him.

He knows his family will not accommodate his condition. Its his own fault, he’s not taking it seriously himself blaming them for ‘feeding’ him gluten.

He’s an adult, not a toddler. He needs to take responsibility for his own health and sort his own food out wherever he goes.

We have medically identified food allergies in my husband's family. His slightly older nephew was badly affected, so we were hyper-careful with our children's diets for two or three years. It worked well. But oh, the number of times we had to defend our policy from ill-informed interference: people who "didn't believe in allergies" or who thought "they'd get used to it" or that "we wouldn't know if they were allergic unless we tried whatever it was". Or just that "we were encouraging them to be fussy". The children were well nourished, so it really wasn't any of their business!

This.

People generally think 'Oh, that means no bread' but don't have the knowledge to know how much wider it goes.

The onus really is on anyone so badly affected by things they eat, to take responsibility to know everything they put in their mouth, is safe.

I was diagnosed with coeliac very late in life. Id been suffering for years.
They only found out I had it after they found bone fractures. A coeliac eating a non gluten free diet can cause pathogical bone fractures.
Don't eat there again. It could cause him all kinds of problems made worse by diabetes.

I am making shakshuka tonight, whch is naturally gluten free, for example.

Not necessarily, I've seen recipes that use worcestershire sauce. Someone might think lea and perrins is ok from a quick Google since in the USA it is, the UK version has barley malt vinegar. There are so many ways that the uninitiated can be tripped up.

Take your own meal in a tub. Stick in the microwave. Bobs your uncle. Saves them a job. Saves your OH being ill.

I voted YABU as to me it’s simply out of the question to even consider eating food prepared by them. Bring your own!

He’s an adult, and has seen time and again they can’t be trusted with safe food so why is he not taking responsibility for his own food, that being the case?

I tend to read reputable sites like Coeliac UK or Diabetes UK if I need proper diet information for medical issues rather social media and woo sites.

I am a bit of a foodie and we eat all sorts of foods and different cuisines so I don't find it difficult to cater for people with dietary issues because I tend to think outside of the box of meat and two veg anyway.

I am making shakshuka tonight, whch is naturally gluten free, for example.

It's a nice suggestion but I really wouldn't do this.

It would be impossible to write an exhaustive list. The idea is they'd need to have a grasp of what ingredients contain gluten intrinsically, which are commonly unsafe because of contamination (certain grains), to check or omit any they're not absolutely certain of and how to prepare, store and serve food safely. I think a list would make them confident in using anything not on that list rather than having a true understanding of the issue.

Bless you . We have now found Tesco yeast extract and GD is happy with that.

YANBU being unreasonable being pissed off with them but your DH is not a child (I assume?), he should have clocked the situation himself and been able to deal with it himself.

Simple - only book restaurants you have chosen and take his food with him when you eat at their house. It's not complicated.

I host a lot of people, many of them gluten free. Reading this I hope I have never harmed anyone. I am well aware that soup powder, soy sauce, basically any multi ingredients manufactured product could be problematic.

Once a guest had a nut allergy. (not very severe). We told her for the first course that everything was ok, but she somehow took that to mean that everything in the entire meal was ok and ate something with nuts in the second course. She threw up and has never come back. Still feel bad about it. (and we are now meticulous about labelling and writing down all the allergens in the food)

But over the many years of hosting meals and running events I think that is the only time I know about doing something like that to someone. Sometimes I will tell people not to eat something if I am not sure.

If you google anything you can find whatever answer you want - including that allergies etc don't exist.
I love my mum, she was a great in many ways. But she nearly killed me a few years ago as she doesn't accept I have a shellfish/crustacean/fish allergy. I was fed things that made me well unwell all my childhood but not diagnosed until I was 19. Admitting I am ill is also admitting her failings when I was in her care. But she was very young and had too many children - I get it.
Families and family dynamics are very complex and impossible to fathom. I play it safe and don't eat anything she prepares these days.

I'm wondering if you could make some wall art out of some of the gluten free lists on this site:
https://www.etsy.com/ie/search?q=gluten%20intolerance&ref=auto-1&as_prefix=gluten%20intol

Tbh if it's so hit & miss when family prepare food he really should have stopped trusting whatever they say long ago!

I think once, twice at the most would be it for most people.

Good intentions aren't good enough when someone's health is at stake.

I’ve said YABU because as a lot of people have said he needs to take his own food