Would you send this message?

Don't send it. Do go into school and make a fuss. We had the same with my Dd in year 6. I went into complain and the whole class got a bollocking and parents were informed ( but by school so officially and not just me seen as being a crank). I am glad because my Dd now is best mates with one of the girls who was mean, and actually is a lovely girl away from some of the other instigators, and is thriving. Kids!

I don't think so

You have my sympathies @dramalamma My daughter had a rough time 2022/23 in primary. I don’t know if I tackled it the right way but the children in question have given her a wide berth this year. She’s off to secondary in September too and I so want her to be happy there. Good luck xxx

Don't send it.

I'm sure most parents would take that in the spirit it was sent and try to help but it just takes one parent to kick off, make fun of it to their child and make the whole thing worse. Talk to the new school. Encourage your son to join lunchtime clubs where he might be people with similar interests. Everything changes at secondary in my experience. Friendship groups all change and everyone will be focussing on that and hopefully your son will get a break and find his tribe. Good luck.

The fact you've made a load of noise about this and pushed it already, but your child tells you it's still happening is your clue here that telling the parents won't stop it happening either. The thing to remember on entering secondary school is there will be lots more children from lots more different schools and dynamics will change. You will probably find he will fall off the radar and other children will become the new targets for attention anyway.

You have read the post wrong .

I second what other posters have said here. Definitely don't send that. As awful as what happened to your son is, the parents of the new school are not to blame, nor are they responsible.

If you want to send a message, make it positive. Something like this:

"Hey, it's great to meet you all. My son came from x school and is very much looking forward to starting the year."

Start off on a good footing. Every school is different. Just because your son got bullied in his last school, doesn't mean he will here. Don't assume that without intervention the same dynamic will develop.

No way would I send that .
It will not be easy to hear that your child isn’t being nice, but in this situation a group chat to all the parents of these kids is only going to get their backs up , and have them all on the one side and your son and yourself will be further alienated.

Why haven’t you spoken to any of these people before now ?
Can you pressure the old school to speak to the parents ?
Can you see any of these parents one on one ?

Id also speaks to the new school.

I would be firmer in the new year and make sure you don’t stand for any of this .
Why has nothing more been done to stop it all before now ?

This.

Too right I would be sending it. And I would send an individually crafted message to each of the parents.

You really need to speak to the pastoral lead at the secondary school to ensure your son is separated. Secondary schools are huge compared to primary and have a wide catchment so it should be perfectly possible to separate them streaming or not.

My DC had a similar situation ~ never spoke to any of his primary fellows again at secondary and forged a fantastic group of friends.

If anything rears its head, straight in to the secondary. When they’re little year 7s it’s easier to address.

Don’t send the message. Parents can’t really control what goes on in school ~ you really need to work with the school.

Definitely do not send that text.
You will be marking him out even more.
Your poor boy.
I would be looking to schedule a meeting with the new school to emphasis how seriously you want this taken.
You must haveca relationship with them as your older son attends the same school.
Having a much older brother at the school is a real positive.
Make sure he and his friends are seen to engage with him.
I think outside of school friends are essential to keep the importance of school in its place.
Figure out what you want from the school and communicate it clearly.
Good luck.

My experience of seeing two children through the primary to secondary transition is that all previous relationships get a get good shaking up. My son went to secondary with two of his closest friends from primary and from day one they were no longer good friends. No falling out or anything like that, they just met other kids and it happened naturally. Also remember, that the kids who are the big fish in the little pond of primary school become the little fish in the huge pond of secondary.
I wouldn't send the message, but would wait and see what happens at secondary school first. But be ready to act swiftly at the first sign of anything.

I think as there is still a little bit of time left before they finish junior school you should go in to see Headteacher and explain you are not happy with the situation currently because your DC is being bullied and excluded and want them to tackle it immediately. Ask to see a copy of the bullying policy too. Make them stick to it. This could get resolved before school breaks up.

Don't send the message especially if the mums are cliquey. All kids can be little shits at times but kids who are little shits for an extended period of time tend to have bastard parents who actually have no interest in sorting this stuff out as long as their kid is top of the pecking order. If you are not like this it can take a really long time to understand that because you assume that like yourself everyone is trying to bring up their kids to be basically decent human beings. Some have a more competitive outlook on life. Don't engage with it.

By asking other families to discuss the possibility of continuing his primary school bullying into secondary school, you are drawing attention to your ds's situation as a potential victim of bullying in the new school. He would become the topic of conversation in all those families over the schools holidays. It would draw attention to him as someone with potential to be vulnerable to possible future bullies. Most of those dcs and their families are probably feeling terrified of going to high school and hoping for a clean start too.
Personally I think it would be better to appeal to their positive sides and not mention ds's bullying specifically. Instead wish them all luck and say you're sure their dc will be supportive of ds and each other and you'd be really grateful if the parents contact you if their dc hear that your ds has had any difficulty.

I bumped in to a childhood friend a while ago, she said she was standing outside school & a mother of a kid in her son's class walked up to her & loudly said she couldnt accept it any more, "What ?" The mother then went on to tell her if the bullying & misery her son caused in school. She had had No idea.
She was totally unaware (she said)
I personally think it might be helpful to confront these other mothers, & ask them to parent their children, instill some decent values, & not ruin other children's lives. How would they feel if their precious little bully boy was the one shunned. They are going to a new school, they should be told to leave your son in peace

So sorry to hear this, bullying like this is so subtle and damaging. My dd1 had an experience of exclusion bullying in primary school she is now nearly 17 and unfortunately she is still scarred from it, quite low in confidence and finds it hard to trust friends. In my experience of my daughter quite a lot were involved but there was one ring leader and everyone else followed their lead for fear of being her next victim.

I think sending a text is a good idea but I would frame it that your ds has had a tough year and has been excluded quite a bit in class. I wouldn't go into anymore details than that and would definitely not suggest their kids were specifically involved because people will just get defensive. Just say your ds is looking forward to a fresh start. and to meet new people. Keep this bit but change slightly The reason I’m telling this now is to ask you to have a word with your kids before the induction this week and remind them that everyone deserves a fresh start at secondary school and and that we should leave things like this behind and don’t ruin other peoples’s chances to give everyone the chance to be able to make new friends.

When I was 11, I did the eleven plus and got into Grammar School. I was offered a place by all the local Grammars and deliberately chose a school no one else was interested in from my junior school, not the 'best' school, so that I could get away from the bullies. My mum wasn't bothered which school I went to so I got to pick, I never told her why!

Feeling that the bullies will follow you to your next school and spoil it for you is the worst thing. One girl did eventually pick the same school as me (she wasn't offered a place at the posh Girls Grammar) and suddenly became nice as pie when she realised I was the only other one that was likely to go there, but she didn't get in there either in the end, I was so relieved.

Your poor boy, bullying breaks my heart. My DD had a really tough time in Year 6 and left friendless and self esteem on the floor. I had a meeting with her secondary school prior to her starting and they were more than happy to put her in a tutor group away from her bullies. She's in year 9 now and has a little group of lovely friends, none of whom are from her primary school. I really hope your boy has a similar experience

I had the same problem over bullying, my small and gentle DD was completely ostracised. I did quietly contact DD’s class teacher, more than once, but without DD ever knowing. They made the right noises but were bloody useless.

My DD endured a vile final year at junior school.

Don’t send that message OP. In my case all the school mums knew the score but were too cowardly to do the right thing for fear of repercussions on their own kid. They simply ganged together, all as bad as their kids really. I even had one approach me in a supermarket to say she knew all about it but her little angel wasn’t involved!

Close to the end of the final term I was approached by the junior school headmaster privately. He told me to make the senior school fully aware of the situation. I told him that was his job surely. He said it was and he would be doing that but back up from me would help. (Looking back I can’t believe I didn’t just do this anyway, but I was a lot meeker then than I am now.)

Senior school staff want to know what trouble is coming their way, so they can avoid it. They put DD in a class away from all the other junior school girls. She had a completely fresh start and quickly made a new group of friends and blossomed.

The problem simply stopped.