To think the public have the society they deserve

Children getting obese is because they eat too much not from eating crisps and chocolate it's long term over eating messes up their metabolism, or maybe they have an underlying problem but it isn't the norm none of my kids friends are obese

I was going to say this, everyone wants harmony, a village and the benefits of working together, a good economy ect..but don't want to pay for it, just benefit..but when everyone is out for themselves the resources get quite sparse.

But tbf the divisive way of things is really pushed onto us. I randomly get heated over certain topics and have no idea where it came from..but then 24 hours a day we are being exposed to negativity, through media, life around us. So i don't blame parents or individuals, i blame modern society that we are all scrambling to somehow fit in when quite frankly its impossible. Whatever you do will be wrong 😂

Thanks for providing a pitch perfect illustration of the OPs point.
You have over simplified the original point (they did not say the NHS was in crisis coz of lunchboxes), there is nothing naive about the idea that obesity presents an existential threat to the NHS. Reputable research supports this. OP does not need your sympathy. You are being sarcastic because you're on the defensive. Probably because your kids are overweight and deep down you know its your responsibility and you want to reassure yourself the NHS will help them in due course.
And the busy bodies you deride are professionals, who are trying to address this problem.
But you crack on....

im not quite sure why you’re telling me this?? Did you think I didn’t know nutritional food is good for children?

Should you have the right as a parent to fail to meet your child's nutritional needs? Is that a choice you should be allowed to make for a child?*

If we are looking at this objectively - there is no state ordered way to raise your children. Thank god. So actually people can, if they want, raise their kids on Haribo Tangfastics.

However, I suspect very few people actually do that. To assume people give their kids sweets because they’re bad or lazy is a really boring and incorrect trope. There are many barriers to feeding children nutritional food. Cost being one. A massive bag of crisps is cheaper than 4 apples FFS. Why would people not spend their time actually targeting those who can make a difference rather than parents who are perhaps buying the most filling food for their kids?

What I think most people do do is feed their kids a balanced diet - so fruit/veg/protein + treats such as crisps, chocolate, sweets etc. I certainly do. The pearl clutchers talking about abuse with regard to this are the ones whose Kids will have eating disorders IMO - it’s very easy to give kids a complex over food and personally I don’t assign “this is a BAD thing to eat you’ll get FAT and have CANCER” to food because, well, I’m not insane.

Because I don’t think it sounds sensible, at all. And initiatives like these are just pointless , rarely actually produce positive results, and are usually aimed at blaming women for something.

I’m not defensive, I just talk that way on MN. Like I say my kids don’t have sweets in their packed lunches, both are a healthy weight and and play active sports, but I still see the at the idea of a load of busybodies (yes they are) trying to patronise other people. I won’t be convinced it’s anything other to feel superior rather than actually giving a shit about other people’s kids.

I do wonder about that, school has the same policy, no sweets or crisps, only milk or water. I am delighted with it because it makes it easier for me to make a healthy packed lunch without any whinging from DD.

DD’s friends mum is extremely lovely and clearly loves her DD very much but she is constantly giving her sweets and chocolates (unfortunately she’s also very generous and Dd is often handed a ridiculous amount of chocolate). Her DD is clearly overweight and her mum knows this but seems to just have a blind spot over the sweet stuff. She’s an intelligent, funny woman, she’s definitely one of my favourite mum friends.

I think it’s an emotional thing, the father isn’t as engaged as he should be (I mean literally sleeping till the afternoon on weekends after staying up late to avoid his family) and it’s often hard for her to get around without his help as she has a baby as well, lives in an apartment and doesn’t have a car so they are often stuck at home. I think for some it’s almost making up for something else. So I don’t think it’s always straightforward.

I guess society is made up of people who instinctively know the right things to do regarding their children and the others are those that, apparently, don’t. The ones who do may feel irritated or even patronised that such obvious things are being pointed out to them and the others don’t give a tiny shite anyway. Wasn’t it ever thus?

Should you have the right as a parent to fail to meet your child's nutritional needs? Is that a choice you should be allowed to make for a child? We have mountains of evidence now that an ultra-processed diet is linked with obesity, cancer and early death, among many other things. Should it be OK for parents to do that to their children? We don't tolerate other forms of neglect and abuse.

Children have a right to have their basic needs met, and it's right that society should step in when parents are failing in their responsibilities. Whether that should be schools or another service is a different discussion.

Yes captain anecdotally from teacher family members that’s true.

Teacher observations about the majority (not all). Children not raised. Early nursery care and c parents wanting to be friend not parent means children given no grounding in how to behave. Odd misplaced entitled confidence in the teens. Aggressive about defending their “rights” “you can’t speak to me like that” is a common refrain - but all one way - they don’t see that they have any responsibilities back.

Parents unquestioningly and aggressively defend their child against teacher. First question from them is almost always “who else was involved and what’s happening to them?”

Yanbu in the slightest
So few parents support school policies.

I'm not sure, on the one hand, what the school is saying is obviously correct. Kids should have a reasonably healthy lunch, maybe with a small 'treat' now and again. Most parents understand this and provide said lunch without thinking about it.
Unfortunately the kind of parents that stuff their kids lunchboxes full of crap on a daily basis before calling at Macdonalds drive thru for their tea are not going to change because of a letter from school. Deep down they know they are feeding their kids a crap diet but they either lack the capacity or the finances etc to make the changes required.
It's similar to when there is an outbreak of nits in the class, teachers are no longer allowed to 'single out' children or parents to tell them they need treatment, they have to send a letter out to the entire class. Most kids have already been treated by the time the letter makes it home, the ones that haven't been are likely not to bother on receipt of a letter from school as they don't make the connection that it applies to them.
I have no idea what the solution is, perhaps bringing back school nurses would help some of those kids that are falling through the cracks due to inadequate parenting?

I think yours is exactly the attitude the OP is talking about.

"Snarky", "fuck right off", "busybodys"

Why not just think "yeah, that sounds sensible. It's not aimed at me though" and chuck it in the bin? Unless you feel it is aimed at you?

And I really can't see where anyone has said "they're not entitled to NHS care".

Why so defensive?

It is a choice, people need to make better choices and stop blaming everyone and everything

Tbf I think the billions spent on advertising and bribes probably have something to do with it ]

The government could literally have banned smoking a long time ago, could have banned sweeteners blah blah. Didn't have to provide mental nutrition information. I don't think the fact most of the world seems to have gotten fat at the same time is a coincidence.

I suppose though if you don't have the money you will buy crisps and cereal bar over cheese strings and melon

I agree, so many people want, well no demand, loudly, the benefits of a cohesive and cooperative society but then don't see why they should contribute towards that cohesive and cooperative society - and so you've got far more takers than givers.
I have to check myself sometimes because I start thinking the same way because if you're not careful you can end up permanently the bottom of the pile.

@GoodnightAdeline yeah, in that case I guess we have to just leave them to it. It's shame really but we can't force people to care.

I feel rather envious of people naive enough to think the NHS is in crisis because of lunchbox contents. How wonderful to be so very native about a very grim situation.

I don’t pack sweets in my kids’ lunchbox but I think anyone writing snarky letters trying to control the choices I make for my children can still fuck right off. I still like to think they’re entitled to NHS care, despite the fact I won’t let a load of busybodies control my choices

It’s not just kids though.

iv had several conversations with friends and family in recent years about the fact there has been a general shift within society many (obviously not all) people are more rude less helpful quicker to annoyance or anger over small things which used to be mild irritations at best. More entitled and feeling like things are their right so much less compromise. Feeling like their opinions are facts so unwilling to debate or accept others opinions as just different from theirs rather than being they are right and you are wrong. And on and on. Not just on a personal level but companies that you have to deal with too

at first I thought I was just getting old and too tired to want to tolerate it but the conversations have shown me that others feel the same.

its hard, I just stay out of as much as I can and try my best not to bite and stay polite.

I mean I know technically this isn’t what you’re discussing but I think it’s indicative of why this is the reaction to these letters

Let them eat cack.

I think the schools are on a hiding to none whatever they do.

You are the people, OP.

You see them all gorging on sweets and chocolates at the school gates, as soon as the kids come waddling out they get a packet of chocolate buttons shoved at them. They probably aren't even hungry, but then again I guess they aren't spoiling a nutritious home cooked dinner, just another Mcdonalds drive thru trip or at a push chicken dippers and smiley face.
No exercise, all parked right up against the school gates causing mayhem because walking more than a couple of yards will make the kids' legs seize up and drop off.
No playing outside after school, just straight onto the couch to play Fortnite.
This UPF problem will catch up with the children of today and they will all have horrendous health problems and shorter lifespans becsuse of it.

I don't think you are being unreasonable actually, there seems to be this subset of society who think the world owes them and they can't possibly be called out. It's extremely depressing.

Yes, people have lost the ability to think for themselves or take any responsibility anymore.

I used to give my son treats for lunch sometimes and it was annoying that the school sent letters forbidding it. Junk food is ok here and there