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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the public have the society they deserve

160 replies

GoodnightAdeline · 09/06/2024 22:57

Just read yet another post in our town mums’ Facebook group about the ‘lunchbox letter’. In essence a local primary has written to parents asking them to stop putting sweets and other garbage in their kids’ lunch boxes and all hell has broken loose. ‘How dare they tell my what to feed my child’ ‘tell them to fuck off’ ‘we’ll give the kids an eating disorder’ ‘my kid will only eat cheese strings and cola bottles, do they want her to starve’ etc

It was the same with the ‘your child is overweight’ letters, the ‘please send them in with water not Prime’ letters, the ‘please watch them as they cross the road after school because we had a near miss the other day and are getting complaints’ letters.

After a million such posts with defensive, vitriolic replies I’m beginning to think, why bother improving the NHS/dentistry etc? Why bother helping people who won’t help themselves.

YES I KNOW I’M BEING UNREASONABLE but the above mindset just seems so prevalent it depresses me to unreasonableness!

OP posts:
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Losetowin · 11/06/2024 23:19

JenniferBooth · 11/06/2024 20:55

Oh and what pissed me off about the childfree docs wife in Corrie.............they made her as hard as nails

Ugh so annoying 😣 lazy stereotypes! I write scripts so if I ever get to write for TV I’ll remember to create a multi-dimensional child free character!

JenniferBooth · 11/06/2024 20:55

Oh and what pissed me off about the childfree docs wife in Corrie.............they made her as hard as nails

JenniferBooth · 11/06/2024 20:51

Losetowin · 11/06/2024 20:49

Yes that would be great!

I was watching a show or movie recently, can’t remember what it was - maybe something on Netflix - and I was a bit annoyed they had all the child free characters all say they regretted it 🙄

Edited

oh FFS Why do they always do this!

Losetowin · 11/06/2024 20:49

JenniferBooth · 11/06/2024 20:47

Im waiting for a proper true childfree by choice character Apart from the wife of the doctor character in Corrie (the doc who had an affair with Maxine) i dont remember any.

Yes that would be great!

I was watching a show or movie recently, can’t remember what it was - maybe something on Netflix - and I was a bit annoyed they had all the child free characters all say they regretted it 🙄

JenniferBooth · 11/06/2024 20:47

Losetowin · 10/06/2024 22:47

Re. Soaps - it’s a tricky one, as a creative writer and former educator/support worker, I’d say a lot of art is imitating life rather than the other way around. And despite the drama there’s definitely some great hard hitting issues covered by soaps especially Eastenders which has helped educated people /started conversations on a range of issues over the years from domestic violence, farming (a type of private fostering that went on involving the children of black immigrants) IVF, HIV genetic illnesses and miscarriages, steroid abuse - just to name a few of the topics they’ve covered recently. And I love the diversity of the cast. The Panesars for example have added so much to the episodes.

But I have to say I do wonder sometimes if these soaps normalise things such as having a revolving door of partners who move in, in quick succession even while they have kids? I mean that’s a safeguarding risk.
And having children quickly with every partner you have, so all the women characters seem to have multiple fathers for their children - which happens yeah but it’s just overly prevalent in soaps.

And I notice they all seem to reach for alcohol every time they’re stressed. I hadn’t noticed that initially, but my mate whose mum was an alcoholic was the one who pointed it out and I’ve definitely noticed it since!

So yeah that is arguably the flipside..I can see it from both points of view.

Edited

Im waiting for a proper true childfree by choice character Apart from the wife of the doctor character in Corrie (the doc who had an affair with Maxine) i dont remember any.

JazbayGrapes · 11/06/2024 07:45

Re. Soaps - it’s a tricky one, as a creative writer and former educator/support worker, I’d say a lot of art is imitating life rather than the other way around.

Nobody would watch soaps if there wasn't any drama.

Losetowin · 10/06/2024 22:47

Re. Soaps - it’s a tricky one, as a creative writer and former educator/support worker, I’d say a lot of art is imitating life rather than the other way around. And despite the drama there’s definitely some great hard hitting issues covered by soaps especially Eastenders which has helped educated people /started conversations on a range of issues over the years from domestic violence, farming (a type of private fostering that went on involving the children of black immigrants) IVF, HIV genetic illnesses and miscarriages, steroid abuse - just to name a few of the topics they’ve covered recently. And I love the diversity of the cast. The Panesars for example have added so much to the episodes.

But I have to say I do wonder sometimes if these soaps normalise things such as having a revolving door of partners who move in, in quick succession even while they have kids? I mean that’s a safeguarding risk.
And having children quickly with every partner you have, so all the women characters seem to have multiple fathers for their children - which happens yeah but it’s just overly prevalent in soaps.

And I notice they all seem to reach for alcohol every time they’re stressed. I hadn’t noticed that initially, but my mate whose mum was an alcoholic was the one who pointed it out and I’ve definitely noticed it since!

So yeah that is arguably the flipside..I can see it from both points of view.

LakeTiticaca · 10/06/2024 22:28

AStepAtaTime · 10/06/2024 13:47

@SNMummy2024

You see them all gorging on sweets and chocolates at the school gates, as soon as the kids come waddling out they get a packet of chocolate buttons shoved at them. They probably aren't even hungry, but then again I guess they aren't spoiling a nutritious home cooked dinner, just another Mcdonalds drive thru trip or at a push chicken dippers and smiley face.
No exercise, all parked right up against the school gates causing mayhem because walking more than a couple of yards will make the kids' legs seize up and drop off.
No playing outside after school, just straight onto the couch to play Fortnite.
This UPF problem will catch up with the children of today and they will all have horrendous health problems and shorter lifespans becsuse of it.

😆You sound exhausting. And where are all these mums, driving straight to Maccy D’s to cram their chubby, legless, Fortnite-addicted children with Happy Meals? The mums I know go home and cook, like me. And their children have legs too.

Your world sounds horrible. You should move to a different planet full of soya beans and hand-knitted yoghurts

Spend a couple of weeks working in a certain very popular high St bakery and you're eyes will be opened. Parents with kids on the way home from school calling in for "snacks"
£20 and a bag full of donuts, cookies and pastries later and off they go.
And yes many of them are very overweight.

Georgewilldo911 · 10/06/2024 21:59

If you ever, and I mean ever, and I mean you MPs , lawyers , CEOs and all, bought drugs of any sort, or supported decriminalisation as recreational, then you've got the knives, guns, domestic abuse and thuggery that your actions instigated.
Alcohol had similar effect . It paid tax , mostly . Spent on services, mostly.
Do you hear me Gove, Cameron , Sussex etc?

GoldDuster · 10/06/2024 15:52

AStepAtaTime · 10/06/2024 15:49

Tories lol

Stories is about right 🤣

JazbayGrapes · 10/06/2024 15:50

I just wonder why “not having much money” ofter seems to automatically mean “frozen pizza and crisps”.

Because frozen pizza or microwave meals are exactly a much cheaper option than cooking fresh from scratch.

AStepAtaTime · 10/06/2024 15:49

Tories lol

AStepAtaTime · 10/06/2024 15:48

Mr Whippy would do a better job than the stories if he ran for Government

JazbayGrapes · 10/06/2024 15:47

I live opposite an infant/primary school and there is a Mr Whippy ice cream van parked outside there at 2.45 onwards every weekday.

Mr Whippy is hardly to blame for health crisis

AStepAtaTime · 10/06/2024 15:39

@RickyGervaislovesdogs

*But cost of living. Sweets, biscuits, crisps and choc and crap is cheaper than fruit isn’t it. Then a mucky D on the way home.

Oh wait, no it isn’t cheaper is it.*

Peaches 🍑 are expensive. And don’t forget the humongous kids with no legs and Fortnite-adapted hands

inamarina · 10/06/2024 15:37

Marrta · 10/06/2024 01:41

I suppose though if you don't have the money you will buy crisps and cereal bar over cheese strings and melon

Why though? Cereal bars aren’t exactly cheap.
Instead of (branded) cheese strings one could get supermarket’s own brand cheese and cut it in cubes or make sandwiches.
Melon could be replaced by a cheaper seasonal fruit or some vegetable sticks.
It doesn’t all have to be perfect, I just wonder why “not having much money” ofter seems to automatically mean “frozen pizza and crisps”.

JenniferBooth · 10/06/2024 15:30

What happens when its a SEN child with possible Prada Willi syndrome. I had a thread about this last year but it got taken down. I was in a coffee shop in Jan last year and had just sat down with my latte and lemon muffin. When i heard scream and this young girl of about nine was standing in front of me screaming, and her dad said "She wants your muffin" I was concerned about her knocking over the latte which was hot, so i just gave it to her. A few mins later he came back with a bag of mini muffins he had bought to placate her with which she refused I told him not to worry and to keep them for later. As i sat there with my drink i watched her eat the pack of them after the lemon muffin. A young woman who worked there brought me a replacement muffin over, I told them thankyou but you dont have to. Over the last 18 months ive seen them now and again and two weeks ago in the same coffee shop he walked past my table and said "dont worry you havent got a lemon muffin" and made a joke of it. Now before anyone starts I DONT CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING MUFFIN Im thinking what would happen if she takes something from another child. I also saw her literally grab him by the lapels and drag him into Claires. He doesnt seem to have any control over her. And sometimes there is a young lad with them Slightly older Must be her brother and he always looks as miserable as sin.

Marrta · 10/06/2024 15:17

GoodnightAdeline · 10/06/2024 15:10

Who said they were working class?

It was implied

Happyinarcon · 10/06/2024 15:17

A lot of things on the internet aren’t real. Base your judgements on people you encounter in real life

JenniferBooth · 10/06/2024 15:12

SNMummy2024 · 10/06/2024 00:18

You see them all gorging on sweets and chocolates at the school gates, as soon as the kids come waddling out they get a packet of chocolate buttons shoved at them. They probably aren't even hungry, but then again I guess they aren't spoiling a nutritious home cooked dinner, just another Mcdonalds drive thru trip or at a push chicken dippers and smiley face.
No exercise, all parked right up against the school gates causing mayhem because walking more than a couple of yards will make the kids' legs seize up and drop off.
No playing outside after school, just straight onto the couch to play Fortnite.
This UPF problem will catch up with the children of today and they will all have horrendous health problems and shorter lifespans becsuse of it.

I live opposite an infant/primary school and there is a Mr Whippy ice cream van parked outside there at 2.45 onwards every weekday.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 10/06/2024 15:10

But cost of living. Sweets, biscuits, crisps and choc and crap is cheaper than fruit isn’t it. Then a mucky D on the way home.

Oh wait, no it isn’t cheaper is it.

GoodnightAdeline · 10/06/2024 15:10

Marrta · 10/06/2024 15:06

Yeah, it's offensive

Who said they were working class?

OP posts:
Marrta · 10/06/2024 15:07

wasn't her though

Marrta · 10/06/2024 15:06

ItsNotAShopItsAStore · 10/06/2024 15:05

Why do you assume these people are in poverty then? Don’t equate being working class with being impoverished

Yeah, it's offensive

ItsNotAShopItsAStore · 10/06/2024 15:05

GoodnightAdeline · 10/06/2024 15:04

A smart phone I can accept as it’s a necessity but £50 acrylics, disposable vapes and cigarettes, £1,000 bulldog puppies and constant takeaways I can’t.

Why do you assume these people are in poverty then? Don’t equate being working class with being impoverished