AIBU and emotional - teenager called me embarrassing

Have you read all the OP's posts? You might have missed some important details.

-when a child is 7, their parent knows absolutely everything.
-When that child is 14, their parent knows absolutely nothing.
-When the same child reaches 21... they are amazed at how much their parent has learnt in a few short years! 😁

@LiesDoNotBecomeUs Your Dad was so perceptive! My DD (19) thinks I’m far more knowledgeable than my DS (15) does. It has something to do with going to university and realizing that Mum actually did a lot for her and may actually know a thing or two. 🤣

I mean this kindly OP, but you need to toughen up a bit. All teenagers find their parents embarrassing. I just used to say "Yeah, I know I am it's part of my job description for being a mum" or "Yep, but trust me I could be worse". Just point out to him that actually however you act he'll find you embarrassing... because he's a teenager. And he has to get used to it. Harsh but true.

What???

Also I had a shitty ex and worried it was down to him but its really just a normal part of growing up. By 16-17 I was perfectly acceptable to be seen with again!

I think its pretty normal. You go from being the most important person for your child to being highly embarrassing and eventually back to being someone they are willing to be seen with.
I had the 'drop me around the corner', 'do I have to walk next to you in town' chats from my child when they were 12, 13, 14 and by 16-17 it was back to being fine that I dropped them at the door, gave their mates a lift etc.
They are starting to establish themselves as an individual and at 12/13 parents just aren't cool to be seen with.

Ah OP, I know I was hurtful to my mum when I was growing up because she knew I was sometimes embarrassed by her.

But the teenage brain is undergoing so much change they often do things that make little sense...

I still cringe at some of my behaviour back then especially because I couldn't be prouder of her now and introduce her to everyone. Hang in there it will get better!

You could do that

ESPECIALLY if you tend to drop in at his school wearing the biggest hat -one decorated with masses of dead animals, flowers and fruit - and a large arrow pointing to a poster hanging round your neck. (This probably carries the words 'DC's loving Mum - do stop me and ask to see his baby photos' :) )

@Famfirst I suspect that you haven't read the OP's posts and didn't notice exactly what she thought might be causing him his feelings -that is her (bastard-man-caused) disabilities.

Some of us think that he is probably just being a bit of a teen !

Teenagers are awful and it goes on for a few years. 16-17 and they start coming back round. Get the book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-First-Could-Drive-Cheryl/dp/0374523223 really helped me. The most important point though is do not take it personally, any of it xxxx

You have to listen and respect your child. He's been very brave in telling you this, you should respect his feelings and adapt your behaviour accordingly.

This is typical teenage behaviour. It's important to make him feel heard and validated, otherwise he'll learn that it's not ok to have his own feelings and needs. You are unable to contain this for some reason. Maybe it would be good for you to reflect on why this makes you feel so vulnerable and hurt.

They've never been embarrassed by my credit card when they wanted new clothes strangely 😂

My posh accent embarrassed my son, which I found bemusing because I'd never thought of it as posh.

There is hope for the future OP. My dad reminded me of his father saying:

-when a child is 7, their parent knows absolutely everything.
-When that child is 14, their parent knows absolutely nothing.
-When the same child reaches 21... they are amazed at how much their parent has learnt in a few short years! 😁

On how your DS can think so well of his father - I think that it is a sort of wishful thinking that works for absent parents. We fostered teens and tweens who had been terribly neglected and ill-treated. The one thing they had in common was how much they thought of their parents - no matter what the evidence. (Without any irony, one 12 year old urgently wanted to fill in a supermarket form nominating his mother 'mother of the year'. I can only say that he needed this fantasy - and grew out of it by himself. )

If any consolation my foreign accent is embarrassing for my kids!

I think I'd calmly say something along the lines of....I'm a human being and I have feelings and there are times that your behaviour embarrasses me too, I just wouldn't hurt your feelings by saying it. I haven't brought you up to be like this. No one else is embarrassed, only you, so I think it's more of a 'you' problem. You'll realise when you grow up that I'm not actually in the wrong here.

I still find my mother embaressing and Im over 50!!LOL😅

Seriously though it does sound hurtful but its a totally natural response at that age. Most teens are embaressed by their parents, its something they grow out of.
Sorry to hear of your head injury, sounds like a horrible situation. You could always point out to your son that his brain isnt fully developed yet and is still a work in progress!

Oh OP, teenagers are bloody brutal.
We enrolled our in Army Cadets at 13 and the change in them was miraculous. Really strong behaviour standards and the leaders were great role models.
Was his Dad the cause of your head injury?

I love this. What a great approach! 😁

I am SO embarassing! I have ASD and my social skills are a bit off. I also have a thing that means if someone's words remind me of a pop song I have to sing the line of the pop song! My clothing choice is dictated by texture / sensory issues of the day and often doesn't match. I am very much not bothered by my own appearance or what others think of me and frequently forget to brush my hair (not that it helps a lot). I sing in Tesco, talk too loud, fail to hold appropriate conversations with the general public (talk too much, not enough, when it isn't my turn, talk over people). If I get anxious my phyiscal ticks start up - the hand flapping is fun.

Teenagers can be arseholes. You are definitely not the one with the problem and your kid will grow out of it. I remember my wonderfully eccentric dad being a total "embarassment" and now he and I can be embarassing together. He now knows he hurt your feelings and should keep his opinions to himself. Go out and embrace your embarassing self, who cares what anyone thinks (particularly a teenage boy - even if he is your teenage boy!). Oh and if you see some mad looking woman wearing un-coordinated clothing flapping like a duck and singing in Tescos whilst her 13 year old daughter looks on mortified please say hi!