I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

I had that thought too - if she wasn't a named driver, which she probably wasn't since she was clearly not intended to drive it, then that could've factored into the husband's anger...she'd only have been insured for third party damage, so it was going to cost the family a lot of money regardless.

Really? I once borrowed an item of clothing from my sister. I spilled something on it and ruined it. I was really scared to tell her. It’s normal.

So it had proximity sensors but you didn't bother listening to them?
You shouldn't be driving should you?
Have to go the insurance route because it will probably need all the sensors replaced which could cost thousands.

Didn't it have proximity sensors?

I wondered the same. If she wasn't she risked being arrested for TWOC and having the car seized.

Ever thought the OP was being hyperbolic? We don’t know what her husband did because she hasn’t said. She has however used OTT language throughout the thread.

Hmm wonder if OP was even insured to drive it.

If it's any consolation, my sister borrowed her then-fairly-new-boyfriends car for the day, after her car went into the garage for repair after she hit a pillar in a carpark.
What did she do? She hit someone on a roundabout in BFs car...

Fortunately, he was very forgiving, and they're now happily married. :)

That's your reality, not mine

This just bonkers

Adult who makes stupid decision that will cause stress and financial cost to partner is worried about telling partner. Shocker.

If people have a “thing about cars” to the extent their partner is plainly terrified of them and berating herself, then that is unreasonable. Would I be delighted if this was my property? No. Would I be “mad”? Also no. It’s a material item with presumably very minimal damage that can be easily fixed.

Good grief, love. Dramatic much? 😂😂

610 votes
90% YABU

Think that answers your question OP.

It's funny, there was a thread the other day by a woman crying her lamps out over her husband cutting up her favourite Fairy washing up liquid bottle. The amount of sympathy and support she got over that is wild when you look at the dismissive comments here towards a man being upset that his expensive brand new car got taken and damaged. 🙃

Not difficult no, but there's plenty of other words I could use to describe it. Ridiculous, absurd, stupid, arseholey - just to name a few politer ones. Oh and I stand by abusive too.

It depends on the value you place on said car and your partner's knowledge of that. People are entitled to have a thing about cars. just because she was scared to own up doesn't mean hubby is a tyrant (I speak as one who has issued numerous LTBs on MN). If I was in such a situation I would not take the car without asking first and I would be mortified if I pranged it - remember, it's quite new.

I continue to be amazed at the things Mumsnetters say wouldn't phase them. I bet in real life they'd go ballistic. If they bought a brand new sofa and someone poured juice on it? If they had a brand new kitchen installed and someone scratched the hob on day one? And so on...

One thing I have learned from being on MN is that we humans don't have much understanding of ourselves and our emotions. We all think that we would act a certain way in a crisis, but it's just fantasy. Reality is very different.

I know right! Some mumsnetters must have so much money , forking out £800 is small change for them

"So it’s not just a car, it’s his precious baby and no one can dare touch it without asking."

Correct. You see, not difficult, is it?

I disagree that most people would panic if they dented a bumper when reversing. Normal people in my experience would assess damage and call insurance/garage.

And OP did not say she was shaking because of shock due to accident. She was shaking from fear. What did she fear?

Let's just think about this for a sec. If the new car is his pride and joy, chances are he's a car guy and it's a relatively high-performance car (which I'm extrapolating from the fact that OP said the throttle's much more sensitive than she's used to). I'm a car girl, and my wife isn't allowed to drive my car either - driving a performance car is not the same as pootling around in your average Astra or whatever; there's actual skill involved in keeping machines like that under control and safe on the road. She's not insured on it for that exact reason - she's not that interested in cars, compared to me, and as a result she knows she probably wouldn't be that good at driving it.

Restoring, maintaining and optimising that car is my hobby, I put a lot of time and (my) money into it, and she wouldn't even consider getting in the driver's seat because she respects my personal investment in it. She thinks I'm a complete lunatic for putting that much of myself into what she sees as a shitbox, but still... ;)

So...we both have our separate cars. Hell, I earn significantly more so I bought her car and pay for the tax and insurance, but I still wouldn't dream of driving it without asking her first.

Because it's not mine.

Yes, I know. I've read all her comments.

She still never said that. You've just extrapolated that to fit your own narrative.

Most people who had taken their DH's brand new expensive car without his knowledge and backed it into a wall because they were not paying attention and were going too fast would be panicking and shaky. It's a natural response to an accident.

Most normal people would be panicking.

Most people would be angry that their partner had taken their car without asking and reversed it into a wall because they were stupid and careless.

All the DH has done is be "furious". I'd be fucking furious if some numpty had backed into a wall in my new car because the music was too loud and they were too heavy footed on the accelerator.

I apologise. OP indeed actually said that:
'I’m in a panic.'
' I was physically shaking from fear and the reality of what I’d done'
' thought others would receive major consequences for this.'

My Dh has a little sports car, not his everyday as he has a van and we have a family car. I would never use his car as it would be just my luck something would happen. If it did I would just have to tell him. He would definitely be really annoyed, that does not mean he’s abusive! Just normal annoyance at the inconvenience and the expense. Op there’s no way you are going to get it fixed that quickly without him knowing especially if you need a new bumper.
I had recent damage to my own car and I waited 6 weeks to get it fixed. Took ages for parts to come in. Take a deep breath and tell him. Good luck!

At no point did the OP say she was shaking with fear "because there will be severe punishment" 🙄

he's said that I'm not allowed to wear them anymore. Is that abusive?

Depends. Are you panicking and shaking in fear because there will be severe punishment if he finds out you have been wearing his sweaters?