I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

If you’re worried you’ll receive “ major consequences” for a dented bumper then you have a serious husband problem..
A man you’re scared of is not a good man.

Is he violent to you, OP? It’s a bit worrying that you’re so scared of his reaction that you can’t say anything to him?

I had to have the car resprayed when I bumped it. Took 3 days and cost £1300

I'm a bit concerned that I'm sharing the roads with all these people that think it's nothing to bump and scrape cars.

Not stunned by that, that isn't news to everyone. But stunned that an adult feels so intimidated by the other adult in their relationship and thinks it's normal. And stunned that a reasonable adult would be so angry about an object that they would be scary.

In this thread people are stunned upon finding out that not every family shares absolutely everything.

Yes, you should ask the registered driver to use their car. What if they needed it and then it's just gone? This is just normal, and there's no indication OP doesn't have her own car or actually needed his

The vocabulary you use sounds more like you’d be referring to a child “major consequences”, “learned my lesson”. You’re an adult. We all make mistakes.

If it was a brand new car my husband wouldn’t be impressed but equally I’d be pissed off too because it’s just another problem to fix which is always an inconvenience. BUT there’s no his and hers when it comes to cars (the one I use more often is actually the more expensive one!). And it’s just a car…

Same. Nor would there be any using my or his money to fix it, it would all come out of joint.

Imagine if you bought a brand new car, and your DH used it without letting you know, then he damaged it, then he panicked and decided to not tell you about it in case you got angry with him. You might not be steaming mad, but you'd be a bit cheesed off, wouldn't you?

Tell him and offer the 900 ready to pay for the repairs.
You can't be anything but sorry; no one was hurt so all's good.

You really should get the vehicle assessed by mechanics suggested by your insurer so the work will be trusted.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · Yesterday 21:20
I wouldn’t get violent but I’d be fucking angry if you took my new car without asking and damaged it. Even more so if it had sensors but you ‘didn’t hear them’. You sound like a fucking liability.”

I don’t understand this at all. We use “each other’s” cars all the time, no need to ask, they’re joint property.

@StaceyAl I've done similar. I had just passed my test when DH went away for a week and told me to use his new car for work. I hit a pillar in the firm's underground car park and had to ring and confess. Yen later in the week I took off my boss's wing mirror! It was a good couple of years and more lessons before I drove again.

I hate when people say this. Of course there is such thing as an accident.

Broke trust? By borrowing a car? 50 50 in my marriage. No big purchase belongs to one or the other.

She was playing music too loudly to hear them.

What on earth do you mean by major consequences? It was an accident.

This is so sad. In my marriage everything we have is shared, certainly major purchases like cars, we don’t have to ask. And zero fear or worry in telling the other about a mistake.
Is this embarrassment or genuine fear? He gets to be angry but not at you or furious hell no, he’s an adult not a child.

What lesson have you learned? Jeez, you're not 6!

OP I just want to say that you are not a child and your DH is not your parent. There should be no fear or punishment. You should be able to tell him and not fear the consequences.

I wouldn't even think to ask permission to take my DH's new car and neither would he think I needed it.

what do you mean by 'not going well' and what won't you do again? Use his car?

Major consequences!!!

Didn’t you hear the reversing sensors bleeping before you hit the wall? An expensive car ought to have them

I wrote off my Husbands car, he didn't care as I was ok and DD has scraped the bumper (twice) and other than a bit of an eye roll and piss taking about her parking abilities that was it.
If your H is anything other than mildly annoyed there is something wrong