I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

For me it’s not that she had to pay for the damage. Of course that’s a consequence. It’s that she was terrified to tell him, like physically shaking. The reaction was ‘not good’.

My DH would be upset but I wouldn’t have been physically terrified of telling him.

If it’s a plastic bumper, boil the kettle and pour it over the bump. You may be able to gently pop it back out from underneath. (Maybe a big pot of boiling water)

Whole thing sounds fake. Music would have turned down/cut off when reversing, especially for a new expensive car.

Can’t remember the @‘s of the people who quoted me but with all respect, it doesn’t matter what you do in YOUR marriage. Every marriage is different right? Just because you’d drive your husband’s fancy car without asking, do you really think that every married women will think the same?

People are different. Some married people have joint accounts, some live in seperate houses and some wouldn’t take off in their husband’s fancy car without asking especially when they have their own car. Surely that’s common sense that just because you do something in YOUR relationship, it doesn’t mean that everyone else does too….

So OP you got this trending well done

The little car emoji probably helped too 😂

I've done exactly the same thing with the bumper and the low lying wall but it was my brand new car. The bumper was repaired and resprayed at the dealer's workshop.

It's worrying that the OP openly was fearful of his potential reaction, was anticipating major consequences and is now not allowed to use it.

It is also worrying that some people seem to think this is normal.

Most expensive new cars when putting in reverse actually turns the music down automatically.....

So OP you got this trending well done

Fancy having to wait until your DH is asleep to take the car, how downtrodden some women are

@LookItsMeAgain its okay 😄 not too tech savvy so no idea how to edit posts lol!

@ElaineMBenes no it’s definitely not a normal reaction, the whole marriage dynamic seems odd!

Nobody was injured. Just stuff. Of course it’s a bit annoying but OP sounded terrified.

Youve done the right thing OP.

Nah, I would say your casual attitude to damaging expensive cars is odd.

I’d be very upset if something I bought with my own money was damaged by my husband.

I think everyone would be upset but it's not normal or healthy to be shaking from fear when it comes to your partners reaction.

Sorry - I was trying to type the message and scroll back to see who posted that comment about the shared marital assets and I tagged you incorrectly.
Am I able to edit that post now and remove your name from it? If I can I will. Otherwise please accept my apology for incorrectly tagging you in it.

What a load of shit. I'd be livid if my partner bumped my new car or an old one for that matter, we have both have got children from previous relationships doesn't mean we live separate lives at all. He still has his car, I still have mine, he still has his kids, I still have mine, his kids are not mine and my kid is not his. Hope that clears things up for you.

A fair resolution would have been to claim on insurance but you pay the excess and for the loss of no claims bonus / uplift in next years premium. Assuming this is less than paying for it to be repaired directly.

i am still really concerned about the language here : “not allowed” and husband making a “decision”. My dh crashed my car through sheer stupidity; absolutely his fault. Cost £1000 but we share our finances so we were both affected. Never crossed my mind to punish him and ban him from driving my car (even if he’d taken it without “permission”).

Are you very young OP, like in your early 20s and your dh much older? The dynamic seems very much like a parent and child not husband and wife.

OP you’ll get loads of people on here telling you that he should be fine with it so long as you and kids ok etc , it’s only a car blah blah. Yeah it’s only a car but cars costs thousands of pounds and many people like to have them in good condition and not knocked about especially when they are brand new. He’ll be pissed off and rightly so - I would be.

Same here. My husband and I have a joint account for bills, household needs like shopping, joint spends etc and then we have separate bank accounts that our salaries go into and that’s our own money. I’d be very upset if something I bought with my own money was damaged by my husband.

@LookItsMeAgain I didn’t actually say they had access to everything equally! I was responding to someone who said that arguing against it.

I’ve damaged my DH’s very expensive cars on several occasions over the years and never had more than a sigh or an eye roll. This year her took delivery of a really expensive brand new car and within 3 weeks he managed to take out three separate panels/ doors as he h
misjudged a narrow space. I might have called him a silly twit or something similar.

Honestly your DH’s reaction, and yours to his is really quite concerning.

I am someone that loves my car. Was also brand new and expensive. If my dh had taken it without my permission and then damaged it, I would lose my shit.

If that makes me abusive, so be it. But I would be extremely angry at my new property being damaged - particularly being taken without my permission.

OP, many posters seem to think you are in an abusive marriage and scared of your dh. Not that scared you thought it was ok to sneak off in his car without him knowing. You also don't sound very competent at driving either.

Some of the comments on here must be from folk who drive old bangers or tractors! As long as nobody is hurt.... it's only metal.... who cares about a bit of metal.... I sometimes think I live in an entirely different universe when on MN.

OP used it to collect her son not their son so they probably live fairly separate lives

That’s why when you reverse you look out the back window and to the sides so you can see more. Rear view mirror has very restricted view.

I teach my pupils never look in the rear mirror
reversing as you’ll only see the back window. If you look out the back window you’ll also see the back corners of the car and out of the back side windows.

You also broke the law OP. Taking a vehicle without the owners consent