Is this really true about cost of having a child?

I liken the cost of a child to a U graph. They are expensive when in nursery, cheaper for the first 6 years of education, then costs rise in the teenage years to peak again at University!
If you can at all, but money away during those primary years to cover the Uni years..the student loan rarely covers the cost of accommodation, let alone living expenses. DC's rent (not London) is £900 per child, plus living expenses and bills comes to £1200 a month. Student loan is £4500 a year. Parents are expected to make up the shortfall.

You have to work out what is right for you and what priorities are overall. I paid more in childcare than salary for the first few months of job (thinking this would be the case for up to 2 years) because I really wanted to re establish the career I loved. Absolutely worth it for the short term sacrifice to be doing a job I love and the longer term financial/pension benefits etc. It turned out I was able to apply for hours which gave us a much better work life balance and flexibility so our childcare costs came down much sooner than I had anticipated. I wouldn’t increase my hours whatever the financial incentive in the short or long term as the work life balance and a decent balance between my career and children is what is my priority. If the OP wanted to work full time rather than 3 days I’m sure she would

🙄

I think that you were extremely lucky, everywhere I looked they give the first hours in the morning free and the last hours in the afternoon to ensure you have to pay for the ones in the middle to make sure you don’t just use the free hours, plus you pay extra for nappies, meals plus a ‘supplement’ for the free hours and you don’t have the option of term time only (which would be no good for us anyway!)

£10k for childcare until they're in school seems low - we have calculated that for 3 days a week once the 30 hours kicks in, it will be around £450 a month, which is at the current rates, sure to increase as they do every year! So at least £20k from 10 months to school age. Which is the age at which we put our child into nursery. (and reminder, that's only 3 days a week!)
We got our pram second hand for less than £100. Have spent almost £1k across 4 car seats so far, as all new. We get all clothes, books, toys etc second hand other than those as presents from family.
Kids food/snacks are expensive, as others say, soft fruits, specific items that are all they'll eat. All the organic good for kids snacks are so expensive.
I am not anticipating things getting much cheaper once they are in school - the summer/after school clubs will certainly add up a lot. I imagine it will be harder once they care about what they wear as well! They'll eat more as well..

You'll be fine OP. Children cost as much or as little as you want them to cost.

Regarding childcare, you said you're planning to return part time so won't be spending anywhere near as much on childcare as some people on here. I went back three days a week and never paid more than £400 a month for a childminder. You'll also benefit from the new funding which will cover a significant chunk of that. My 3 year old is now at a term time only playgroup four days a week and we only pay £1 a day extra for sundries (80p with the tax free childcare).

My eldest is at primary school and also costs virtually nothing. Our school does second hand uniform sales so I got all of her uniform and book bag for £5, plus Clarks shoes off Vinted for £5. Supermarket stuff is cheap and good quality. She does two extra curricular clubs that cost less than £10 total per week. Normal clothes and toys all from charity shops/Facebook/Vinted, don't think I've spent more than £20 on clothes in the past year.

lol no, kids eat a lot of blueberries and raspberries if you let them! They’re expensive!

To be fair, where I am (up north, so things tend to cost less), it can work exactly as op is imaging, if you shop around for the right setting. I picked what hours I needed and as long as it's less then 30/week, didn't get charged. When school holidays came round, I was always given the option to either pay for those weeks or keep DC off. We did have to provide all the nappies/wipes, and a pack lunch at one of the settings.

I've had 2 DC attend about 4 settings between them, and never been charged while using funded hours. Ds attended a nursery for a while, which had set sessions, they were fine for what we needed but wouldn't have fitted everyone's working patterns, other then that, I've been fine to pick the hours. My advice would be to ring round all the local nurseries or childminders, and ask how they do it, it seems to vary greatly.

Ours is about 8k a year only 3 days a week! Once at school wraparound care is £20 per day and school holiday care is £50 per day. I also think you need far more than 10k to pay childcare!

You'll be fine with that. You can buy almost everything except mattress and car seat second hand if you need to

We're skint af but managed to have 2 dc without it costing us that much. Childcare cost an arm and a leg but tax credits, as they were at the time, covered it.

You don't have to buy new clothes and shoes every month and they don't have to be expensive. Trips out can be cheap, if not free, and don't have to be every week. They don't have to have expensive or time consuming hobbies, either.

Children, ime, really don't have to cost as much as people try to make it out to be.

How have you calculated it? Just to check if you have calculated it as free childcare or subsidised childcare? Childcare providers often one money on top. It’s also only 30 hours a week for term time, not for the whole year

My primary school age child doesn't really cost much at all! £30pm for breakfast club, school dinners are free for the first few years. Uniform costs about £70 at the start of the year and then shoes get replaced at some point in the year when needed. That's it I think? He eats what we eat at home.

In fact it's a saving - my friends without kids spend a lot of money on nights out, gigs, weekends away, trips to the pub, etc. We avoid most of those costs through lack of babysitters!

It doesn’t work how you think it works. First it’s only termtime so works out at about 22 hours a week. Second nurseries restrict how many hours you can use a day so if you’re part time you’re likely to not use all your allowance each week. And finally you have to pay for all wrap around hours and all consumables and top up charges. My nursery is £80 a day without funding and £47 a day using 7 hours of funding. It’s not a big saving. I can then use tax free childcare on top of that which makes the £47 a day down to £37.60 a day using funding. My nursery does have very high top up fees and others are less but the direction is heading to much higher top up fees. I would contact a few nurseries for a fee projection for the number of days you want a week.

I would also consider not dropping part time for a number of reasons.
do you also have savings for your maternity leave?

exactly this, I think you're massively overthinking this. I'm 6 months pregnant with no savings. Planning on getting the necessary stuff as hand me downs or from FB marketplace. if breastfeed it's free, and we're getting reusable nappies so only the initial outlay. Babies/kids cost as much as you want them to cost. Why can't your DH go part time, and you work FT, if you earn more? I'm planning to go back FT, but maybe go PT once they're at school as harder to juggle the school hours whereas nursery is 8-6.

Childcare expenses are temporary. Pay / Pension / work changes are permanent. I worked full time (compressed hours) and paid full whack for nursery and it was tight but I’m so glad I did it because I tripled my salary during those years.

600 a month is too much. You can get second hand clothes, toys. Breastfeed.

On the other hand, 10K for childcare - are you kidding me?!! It’s way more than that PER YEAR!!! Unless of course you have grandparents to look after them full time, or you or DH are planning to leave work until school.

Awww bless you, it’s not really 30 hours and they’re not really free. It’s still around £10k a year for us with them.

School age children don't cost loads. We don't use any childcare except during summer holidays (£25 a day x 3 days a week for 5 weeks = £375 a year in childcare costs for youngest, eldest doesn't need childcare).

We do spend a lot on food - £13 or so a week for school lunches for eldest (youngest has FSM still), but I'd say nearly half of our weekly shop is food for kids, because they eat a lot more snacks than we do, so maybe £75 a week. So £100 a week on food easily, including a snack or a drink while out here and there. We don't spend much on clothes. They have a small amount of clothes each and wear them until they get holes or no longer fit.

We don't really do 'days out'. We spend lots of time at home with friends or we go for walks, swims, the beach. I couldn't actually tell you the last time we paid for a 'day out' - dh maybe took them to a museum over half term, but before that, no idea. The major cost of days out is food, because if I don't have anything at home to pack, we have to stop and get sandwiches or eat at a cafe, which can be expensive.

Eldest dc might spend £75 a month on activities - gymnastic, scouts, climbing - depending on the month.

The major cost is childcare in the before school years. We paid around £1000 a month a decade ago for FT nursery. This was significantly less with funded hours as neither of the nurseries we used charged top ups, so it was about £100 a month for just over 30 hours (we paid for a few extra hours each week), plus the cost of out of term time days.

Totally agree with PP that your childcare expectations are off.

We use nursery full-time for my 3yo. With the 30 hours funded hours, stretched across the year to 22hours/week (instead of the full 30hrs/wk term time only) it obviously doesn't cover all the childcare hours required each week. Plus, childcare charge extras on top as the funding doesn't cover their costs - so I pay £8.30 for meals each day too. It means my yearly nursery childcare bill after funded hours is between £9-10K. My child has been at nursery since 9months old and thankfully is a summer baby so less years in nursery than others, but will still have required 3+ years childcare fees (obvs funded hours for under 3s weren't around when mine was younger so our childcare bill was genuinely eyewatering at standard daily rate of £83.60/day).

I also have a school aged child. He attends wraparound care after school a couple of days, and breakfast club a couple of days. This costs me £186/month. We're lucky to have grandparents help 3 days after school otherwise it would cost much more.

My school aged child costs:

• Wraparound care for a few sessions £186/m
• Swimming lessons £52/m
• Drum lessons £45/m
• Football club £12/m
• School dinners ~£50/m
• Trips to softplay/treats/cinema etc - ~£50/m
• Clothes £25 (won't get clothes each month, but average across yr)
• School uniform £250/year or more.
• Holiday clubs - £33/day during school holidays so can be pricey!

I am sure you will manage. Babies and young children only need the basics you don't have to spend loads of money on clothes and presents for birthdays and Christmas. I don't know why parents spend so much when the children would be just happy with a few small items. Sometimes they prefer the box it comes in. Same as days out everything I did with my 2 was free. Going to different parks in the area with picnics. Walking in woods and building dens. Feeding ducks.
I live near Legoland, Chessington and Thorpe Park but never could afford to take them. You read on here about all the clubs swimming, music, gymnastics etc that kids do from a very young age. No one should feel guilty if you can't afford to pay for these things. I never did.
They just need to be loved and to feel safe and secure.

They are really expensive 😂 and people are not joking about the food! I cannot believe the amount of soft fruit, bread and milk we go through!! Also the fact that you are meant to keep offering a wide variety of food and it might get rejected 20+ times until it’s accepted. I’ve bought so many avocados and I don’t even like them much!…. 🙄

The free childcare hours aren’t really free as it’s only 9-3 term time only so if you need wrap around care you pay plus the top up fees…

Then you have the sheer amount of clothes they need - especially if they are in nursery! Ours insists on wellies, hats and puddlesuits being kept there so you need two sets and they go up in sizes fairly often. Clark’s or startrite shoes will set you back £40-£50 a time. You of course can go cheaper on these things - Vinted is a good place for second hand sleep bags, puddlesuits etc so can save a bit of money that way

I struggle to find good quality toys second hand - they are so expensive now I think they are being kept in families and handed down! You get the occasional gem at car boots etc but gosh you have to search! And you will be spending money on craft bits, paints etc. I dropped £30 in B and M easily this week on paper, play dough etc for my toddler.

Then there’s the clubs - toddler does swimming and will start little kickers soon. Baby does baby sensory and will start swimming when he’s around a year old. Swimming is £27 a month, baby sensory is £62 a term I think? You of course don’t have to do clubs but mine love them and I like them to do different activities.

Days out so you don’t go crazy in the house, softplay, birthdays, Christmas… the list goes on!!!

So yeah they are pricey!! Butttt you can definitely make savings if needed eg no clubs, second hand clothes, choosing cheaper playgroups rather than softplay

To be fair, you asked about school age child and you did mention childcare. If you both work full-time, then wraparound care can cost up to £400ish a month. That makes a dent in the £600 figure already! But it's all relative and a moving target. E.g. you could quit work or reduce hours to avoid the need for wraparound care, but obviously have then lost money. Or you could argue that continuing to work full time will mean increased pay over time, which offsets much of the cost of wraparound care. You can't do a Sliding Doors and know what your income and outgoings would be with 0, 1, 2+ children. You make decisions based on your circumstances at the time.

Frozen fruit absolutely does go off faster in the fruit bowl, it’s different when defrosted, fine for some things of course but it isn’t the same as buying fresh for everything. Great compromise if fresh is out of the budget though

Childcare costs will be higher than you're thinking. For us, we do 4 days a week on 30 hours (around 22 hours when stretched over a year instead of term time), funded hours can only be used from 9-3 so even though we drop off at 8.45 and pick up at 5.10 we need to pay for four extra hours a day, plus the weekly costs for consumables and materials. Comes to around £650 a month.

For my school age child, costs are less. Wrap around care is £13 a day. Clubs are about £250 a term total (includes swimming, football, gymnastics). I also find it harder to buy second hand clothes at his age that are still decent quality and that he likes. Shoes are fairly pricy if you don't go for supermarket ones - school shoes, trainers, football boots, wellies each time. The presents he wants now are more expensive.

Lots of these costs are optional though and there are ways to do it cheaper if you need to. You'll manage with what you've got. Childcare costs will be less if you're part time.