AIBU to not believe how my friends daughter hurt herself

No one is telling OP to mind her own business, people are just pointing out she's coming across as disingenuous/ gossipy and also that her friend's explanation isn't implausible at all. If she'd come on here and said she has a bad feeling about her friend's story of what happened to her DD and wondering what she should do, I for one would have replied very differently.

My shoulder had been put back three times by the time I was three. Since then I can think of five occasions where it dislocated for things like picking up a bag, holding a handrail on a bus, being asleep, doing a physio exercise in front of the physio treating me for the previous dislocation and my personal favourite, by sitting on the sofa (bastarding thing just fell out as I sat there).

I've got EDS.

Gosh, when children are neglected and abused and end up killed at the hands of their parents, people are SO quick to judge and blame the people that knew or suspected something was wrong and didn't act. Yet here we have an OP who has a feeling something is wrong and is getting told she's just spiteful and looking for gossip. OP, there's obviously a reason you feel this way because if my friend told me her baby hurt themselves, I'd believe them. The fact you don't believe them might just mean you're being over vigilant but it might also mean you have sensed something off. If baby has been to hospital, they may get some SS follow up. For now I'd keep a close eye but don't hesitate to report if you have any concerns at all. Vulnerable kids rely on people 'poking their nose in' etc.

So you can "be there for her"

You don't sound like much of a friend to be honest. Why would you think she's lying about it? There are certain conditions that make dislocation more likely and they may well do further tests to determine why this happened. This was probably very upsetting and worrying for your friend so perhaps you should offer support instead of judgement.

You're not really her friend are you? Posting online implying that your friend hurt her baby, or has somehow been negligent.

The child could have easily had a roll from a bouncer etc. My sister managed to dislocate her elbow twice on a playmat at that age. Only for there were four of us that witnessed it i wouldn’t have believed it either.

She has no lasting issues.

Sounds like you think she harmed her child, has lied about it, and you want to 'be there' for the gossip tbh.

One of my dc had an injury as a baby, and it turned out to be part of a condition she has, that's still ongoing as a teen.

The hospital will do what they feel is necessary, you don't need to give her judgement disguised as concern.

I don’t have kids yet, though I know babies are fragile. This sounds like an OTT injury, if playmats had such a risk of injury with normal use, nowhere would sell them and no one would buy them.

Bit of a difference between a dislocation and a fracture though! I'm safeguarding trained and struggle to see how physical abuse would lead to a fractured elbow, whereas I can think of a number of ways it could happen accidentally. What is he basing his view on?

I was only speaking about similar this with DS,who is a paramedic, earlier today and how most paediatric elbow fractures are a sign of physical abuse

Not sure what you're trying to get at here, but just to echo the many PP above saying it is entirely possible for a baby to dislocate an elbow doing ordinary baby things. Google nurse maid's elbow. If the baby has hyper mobility of some sort it's even more likely, and that would also explain slightly delayed gross motor skills. I have a friend whose 2.5yo has done this three times, and always "by herself". The GP has now told my friend not to come back next time but just watch a video on YouTube on how to reset it😅

I'm always for giving OPs the benefit of the doubt on here, but you really don't come across as a nice friend. Your friend is probably feeling very insecure about having a late developing baby and just trying to keep up with the Joneses. Also, people have different interpretations of what counts as walking - she might have meant her DD walked when being held by the hands, or that she cruised along the furniture, or walked in a walker or goodness knows what. Show her some empathy instead of making a seemingly disingenuous post about her on MN.

Professionals will very quickly pick up anything out of the ordinary.

Leave it to them.

If the child went to hospital the Dr would have evaluated the injury and the cause. You sound like a strange kind of friend ...

My daughter dislocated her elbow regularly as a toddler, the first time from putting her arms in the air when dancing around the living room. She has hyper mobility in that joint.

hard to say in your friends case, but dislocations aren’t unusual.

I dislocated my son's elbow by pulling his arm to stop him falling down. Trip to A&E where they put it back in but then it slipped out again on the way home. It's so easily done with some children. After that we had to be so careful and I remember cringing when I saw parents having a lovely time and swinging their children between them - as we had done with our older son. Although there were 2 hospital visits, I don't recall anyone questioning me, or social services being involved - but then it was a long time ago now.

Usually when injuries occur in babies that are non mobile, a referral to the safeguarding team will be made.

My friend's DS's shoulder would dislocate if you so much as looked at him. It's definitely a thing.

Pulled elbow is very common. Happened 3 times to.my dd.

The first time she did it herself. I can't remember exactly how old she was but less than one. Pulling to standing but not walking. She had one arm between the cushions of the sofa and used the other to try and pull herself up. Instant screams! I saw her arm between the cushions and thought there had been something sharp down there - but no cuts. I then realised she was holding her arm funny. Off to A and E . Pulled elbow diagnosed and fixed..
"She did it to herself" seemed so unlikely but it's what happened. I watched it happen.

@Glowz I can't believe that you are calling a baby lazy nor that a 6.5 months old baby never rolls around

My mum lifted me by the arm as a small child, I twisted and dislocated my elbow. I was small enough not to remember it.

Nothing happened. I'm OK. You should very judgemental and what you actually mean by 'so I can be there for her' is "I want to watch a show" 😡

Shit happens to kids, parents make mistakes.

Our ds could dislocate his hip just by sitting incorrectly, so has to wear special shorts to help prevent it.

You think she's lying about how her baby hurt herself so implying that someone has hurt her?
Yet you say you want to be there for her. Why would you support her if you think one of them might have abused their baby?

The hospital will have referred to social services who have likely decided there is nothing to do. DS dislocated his elbow at 2 and the hospital said they had to report to social services even though we had video of how he did it.

You aren’t friends because what you have posted and said isn’t what a friend would do.

Babies and young children easily dislocate limbs. Yes, a visit to A&E will result in a record that might or might not be followed up.