Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

If someone asked me to feed their cat once a day, then dropped on me the day before that it also needed medication 3x a day, I'd be more than "well pissed off" and would probably refuse to help at all

If I were pregnant I wouldn’t go near the cat litter if another person’s cat, nor would I let my husband do so. Feeding a cat which poos outside is one thing; going in three times a day and changing litter is another.
Just say the litter changing and the responsibility for the cat’s medicine is making you anxious.
Im all for helping out too but in you case, you need to put yourself and any risk to the baby first.
Also what would happen if the cat got ill? They would blame you for not administering the medicine properly!!!

I would tell them that I was not going to give the cat the medication. I'd say I agree to do X and you literally with one days notice changed it to Y. I'm not doing that. I will do what I originally agreed to do but you need to make your own arrangements for this last minute addition.

Yes they'll be cross but they are the ones who waited until the day before they go to tell you they need a lot more from you than you originally agreed to do.

You needed to be clear when you told her a month ago that you couldn't do it. It was then her responsibility to make alternate arrangements.

Issue with getting something for free is it's never guaranteed

OP - I suggest you message the neighbour immediately. Something along the lines of:

Dear Neighbour

Sorry to hear Tiddles is poorly.

Just to let you know, I'm still available to visit once a day to (do whatever you agreed a month ago), but I'm afraid to do anymore is impossible.

See you when you get back, etc

Don't offer any reasons for why it's impossible and don't suggest any solutions. Doing so will encourage them to put further pressure on you. If they persist, keep repeating "I'll do what I agreed, but more than that is impossible"

The day before is too late to pull out of the whole commitment but definitely stick to your guns and the original agreement. They will need to cover the extra visits and medications. It's unreasonable of them to change arrangements at this stage.

Out of interest how pregnant are you? Just wondering as if you were pregnant when you originally agreed what was the plan for litter trays then?

Well in your OP you clearly say she told you it would be 3 times a day when you spoke to her about a month ago & now you’re saying you only found out yesterday, which is it?

I found out about a month ago that this week is going to be really busy for us and minding their cat is an extra pressure and stress that isn’t needed. I made an excuse politely then and asked my neighbour to ask her family instead. She seemed a bit annoyed and said it was only three times a day, but she would ask. Her family all have ‘a lot on’ so nobody can do it for her.

I am not the best at being assertive in these situations so I said I’m sure we can make it work, somehow.

I've voted yabu to continue to do this. You have a husband and pregnancy, these should be your priorities. Not, what the neighbours think.

Springing this on you yesterday is cf territory. Its not what you agreed to at all.

And what if the cat doesn't want the medication or lashes out and then gets more sick? Who is going to take it to the vet ?
I can't believe people are telling her she needs to suck it up at the expense of her health and baby. Ridiculous. Is no one reading that she told the OP only yesterday about the new change???

I would suck it up because it is tomorrow, not enough notice to change.

Your DH does AM & PM with a litter change and you do midday feed/medication (if you can, can’t imagine it is an easy task)

If someone did this to me I’d be well pissed off at them.

Another OP who wants to let down a neighbour after agreeing to do them a favour.

Why agree in the first place?

You’re pregnant and moving house in three weeks, that’s enough for any reasonable person to understand.

I have had 7 cats-none of who have been easy to give medication to. I have also never given anyone an injection, cat or human so wouldn’t be anywhere near happy to do that without being shown what to do a few times!

No one thinks the neighbour was a CF expecting someone to do this??

Absolutely! I would have responded with a ‘no, three times a day will not be possible!’ yesterday, the minute I read that text changing the goal posts though!

It appears the OP has sent one text asking if a family member could help out, got no reply and then hasn’t said or done anything else expect post on here ?!

I’d be really cross with them for expecting em to do this if I was the OP, and would have gone round and talked to them yesterday.

Does Cat in a Flat operate in your area?
Cat sitter near me with Cat in a Flat - the United Kingdom

the day before they go is too late - but unreasonable of them to only advise three visits late in the day.

I don’t know why so many people are assuming medication for cats is such an issue. We have a cat that licks the tablets off our hand because he is so keen to have them and others are taken quickly because they are crushed into the food and don’t need to be supervised (just don’t leave down much food so the cat is hungry enough to eat it all). Cats who have insulin are usually used to the routine and it’s a quick injection.

I agree with what seems to be the consensus - stick to the original plan. State that this is what you will be doing.

Your priority is your baby. Dh pops in once a day to feed and do the litter tray.

Their family can do the rest.

You need to tell them that you'll pop round and feed the cat but you can't go near the litter as it's dangerous for the baby.
You can leave the meds in the cat food but you won't be struggling with the cat to get it down their throat, that's a
Concern if it stratchrs or bites you
Their family will need to
Come and sort the litter out

You should have clearly said no and stuck to that.
It’s far too late for alternative arrangements!
Hints and vague statements don’t work for a lot of people. They need to be told directly.
You have agreed to this so you need to find a way to do as much as you can.

Bit shitty to back out now after saying yes but if you don't want to do it youl have to tell them now.

There always seems to be posts on our facebook community pages asking for pet sitters etc while they go on holiday so maybe ask her to do something like that and see if anyone's available?

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist yes but the arrangement was that her dh was going to do the cleaning and check in once a day. This has now changed to needing meds 3x a day?

All those saying op needs to stick to it. The arrangement changed yesterday. So you all are saying she needs to take a risk of tending to a sick cat, administer meds, risk being scratched and do this 3x a day - all for nothing?? This place sometimes!

No one thinks the neighbour was a CF expecting someone to do this??

I don't think you can back out now. That would be awful. It's only a few days and you obviously live close.
Maybe ask them to get a second litter tray so the cat isn't struggling until your husband can do it.
It really doesn't take long to pop in and give a cat medication (providing they are easy enough to medicate).
Say no next time though!

And it’s four days. Is it even four whole days?
Ask them to put out a second litter box so the litter can be done just twice.

Ask if another neighbor can help so it’s only twice a day.

Right, time to send another one.

‘Hi-I haven’t heard back from you about tomorrow? I can still do once a day as you’ve asked, but three times a day will be impossible so I’m hoping you’ve got those slots covered’

What medication are you supposed to be giving? I have had cats for years and giving meds can be bloody hard and usually takes two of us!