Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

I would worry about the risk of toxoplasmosis from handling the litter tray. If your husband will do that daily then you need to just grit your teeth and go along with the agreement you made. Once their holiday is over you definitely need to work on your assertiveness. No is a complete sentence. You need to practice it.

You are telling them now? Sheesh, that is mean of you.

You said you found out a month ago that you were going to be busy and the neighbour said "it's only 3 times a day" so did you find out a month ago? That was your opportunity to say. We can't do 3 times a day.

The fact that they go tomorrow is a nightmare, it would have been much better for you to say a month ago, sorry no we can't do it. Go round straight away now and say you can only do once daily and they need to call family members for the other 2 and the litter tray.

Agree wtih PP it seems like you knew about the visits being 3x per day at least a week ago, possibly a month ago.

But that the neighbour only made it clear this was to give medication more recently.

I think she said 3x a day a while back, and you agreed but thought you could just pop in once or twice a day and she'd never know, and NOW you realise thats not going to be possible.

The litter trays and being pregnant is a misdirection - you won't have to clean them three times a day, once a day max and likely once every couple of days if theres lots of litter trays down, and thats obviously something your DH can do.

Sorry, I think you've left things FAR too late to back out now. Be clearer earlier on in future if you don't want to do something!

I ask my neighbour to feed my cats once a day when I go away, luckily I don't go away much but I still feel guilty asking. I would be livid if they said yes I booked it and then they suddenly were to busy to acctually do it a few days before I went.

That said 3 times a day is to much to put on a neighbour tbh and if they can't see that then there's is something wrong with them.

Tell them you can go and check on the cat once a day in the evening any more visits than that will need to be done by other family members. Thats reasonable if they don't like that then that's on them. They can book a cattery for the cat if it requires that much medical care.

Sorry it’s deluded to think you find a paid sitter or cattery with a days notice in the summer.

sorry I quoted the wrong post, my mistake!

Ok so for me if it was agreed that DH would go round once a day and do litter / feed cat and that’s now changed to 3 times a day and you didn’t know you are not unreasonable to say “we can only do one visit a day, you need to find someone else to do the others”.

Could they find someone on rover.com?

Does the cat normally have a litter tray? If no and this is a new thing based on being pregnant it’s a firm no as far as I’m concerned.

@OneThreadOnly I never said you were a cat owner? I said the only people that should have to "suck it up" were this particular cat's owners!

You haven’t made the situation terribly clear to posters here, which makes me wonder…

@Smartiepants79 She's pregnant, if she doesn't feel comfortable doing it then she shouldn't have to. It's not her cat. Ultimately, it's the owner's responsibility. Op has actually said she's not been feeling well. The only thing she should do is tell them immediately today that she's not doing it so that they can make other arrangements.

I said to suck it up and I am allergic to cats so defo not a cat owner.

One visit a day. You can do 1 x medication,

One litter change a day (DH to do this) He can do 1 x medication.

They need to find someone else to do the 3rd visit.

Which is exactly why I said “if you can” we don’t know what the medication is or how it is administered.

This.

If they've changed the goalposts then you are not unreasonable to stick to the original agreement and to say you'll do one visit a day, and one litter change by your DH and they'll have to find someone to supplement those visits.

But yabu to completely back out now.

OP never intended on doing the litter or feeding the cat, though. She accepted on behalf of her husband.

Its only because it’s 3x now that she wants to back out.

She can go feed the cat twice and her DH can do the other time and clean the litter box.

I’d get yourself round to their house NOW and explain. You can’t just leave it and expect her to read your mind. At least give her some time to try and get someone else to do it!!!

Have you read any of the updates?
OP is pregnant so can't change litter.
Cat needs medication 3x a day.
Due to medication car needs more frequent litter changes

All of this information was only dropped on her yesterday. So yes, she agreed to feed the cat, but she didn't agree to the above.

I feel as though I’ve made it so so clear to her without actually saying

How's that working out for you?

But the Op agreed to do it???
It’s fine to say no.
not really fine to say no with 24hours notice unless there’s a serious reason like illness.
It’s only for 4 days and it literally takes me 5 minutes to feed my cat. And to change a litter tray.
feel like this is really being blown out of proportion. You’re talking maybe 20 minutes out of the day for just 4 days. Can’t really work out the fuss.

I think that's a bit unfair, lots of people will feed a neighbour's cat for them no problem, and my neighbours have done things like let my dogs out for a wee or a walk (to top up other dog care) and the payment is usually a box of chocolates and a massive thank you. There's nothing inherently CFery about relying on neighbours to feed the cat, especially not somebody who has done it before.

edited to ammend as I realise OP knew about frequency of feeding a month ago.

I think it's so tricky because it's tomorrow.

If it's a pill medication - they are being unreasonable if today is the first time they have mentioned it. if it's liquid mixed in with a feed, not so badly unreasonable. however 3 x a day is a big step up from once.

you would not be being unreasonable to say "I thought it was feeding the cat once a day, I can't do more than that, you'll need to make other arrangements for the other two times (and/or for the medication). But tell them this immediately, as they literally don't have many hours to arrange something else.

The litter tray doesn't need changing 3 times a day. They are going away for 4 days, the cat would cope if it only got changed once in that time, to be honest, and whilst it isn't a pleasant job it's really not a very long job for your H to do, even after a long day at work. It's also something that the cat owner can mitigate for by providing the cat with several litter trays to use during that time if she knows the tray isn't going to be emptied every day - but again, you need to let her know this NOW so that she can go to the shops to buy another couple of trays and cat litter before the shops close at 4pm.

@Singersong
Totally agree.
The only people that should have to "suck it up" are the cat's owners. This will teach them not to rely on free cat care from neighbours when they should pay a professional cat sitter like other people do. If they have to cancel their holiday it will be an unfortunate lesson for them. This is not OP's problem.