Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

At first I thought you were being unreasonable. But then I read the OP again and saw they you gave them a month’s notice. She had no business to be annoyed at you for this as month’s notice is ample time to make alternative arrangements.

There are plenty cat-sitting businesses who do home visits and they could have called upon one of them. We’ve sometimes had to use one of those services when none of our usual cat-sitters were available. Yes, we had to pay for the service but she is our cat and our responsibility. Pets can be expensive but you have to except that when you choose to take one on.

However although she was unreasonable for not accepting your excuses a month ago, I think you were too for allowing her her browbeat you. I don’t really think you can get out of it now but it’s a lesson for the future.

Buy your neighbour one of these:
https://www.argos.co.uk/product/5814978?clickPR=plp:8:16

Get your DH to go once a day to feed the cat once, and with the timers set for feed 2 and feed 3 - medication can go in the feed, and change the cat litter. Problem solved?

The cats owner does kind of have to prioritise the cat,it's sick and they can't sort themselves,can they? She should have made firm agreements with someone who was confident to administer the medication,not difficult if it can be added to the cats food. It is quite a big ask, especially of someone who isn't used to cats. The pregnancy needn't be a worry if gloves are used. Ultra clumping cat litter is easy to deal with,with a little ladle thing. I'm sure most pregnant cat mums know the correct procedures.
Their are often pet sitters who are experienced in looking after pets with health issues, quite an expense but well worth it for the peace of mind.

Where have the additional sick cats come from? OP has been asked to feed ONE cat. One of her posts clearly states the cat doesn't like other cats.

I said adding medication to food isn't an imposition. Unless I missed it OP hasn't said how the medication was to be administered, that's a bit

'All 3 of these cats' do not have an infection as there is only one cat. We don't know whether that cat has an infection either. My cat was on kidney meds, powder added to his food, so he had a long term issue.

You really don't have to be a vet to add medication to food. Of course OP wouldn't be selfish to prioritise herself and the baby, but as I said my cat sitter managed to continue her business while she was pregnant as she was careful. I'm not saying OP should do it, just that it's possible. What are single women supposed to do if they are pregnant, get rid of the cat?

The pet owners aren't selfish for wanting a holiday as we don't actually know what is wrong with the cat. They should have told OP it would involve 3 visits but that's sorted now. I always used a professional cat sitter for my cat as it saves this sort of issue.

Absolutely agree that if it's tablets and you are used to doing that it must not be an imposition to you. However, it IS an imposition to a non pet owner as they don't know the temperament of the animals, have never done that before and will be worried sick about doing it, getting it wrong and the animal getting worse, or dying? If all 3 of these cats are ill, are the kind and pregnant lady and her unborn child being exposed to an infection? Chances are, it will be an infection because all 3 have it ( I think).Please, no more lectures about what cats need, been there done that. My concern is for the lady and child. She is NOT a vet. Pets are very tying, so if you take them on, you need to take responsibility. If they're ill or you can't take them anywhere, you don't go. Let me put it this way. Would the lady be selfish for prioritising herself and her baby? Are the pet owners selfish for wanting a holiday and expecting free pet care for 3 sick animals?

It depends on how the medication is given. My cat was on medication and it was added to his food which isn't an issue. Measure it out/crush the pill, add to food, mix well, feed cat as normal. Hardly an imposition.

Regarding not going away, it depends on what's wrong. My cat was on medication for the last 7 years of his life, was I supposed to not go away for all that time? For the last 6 months of his life we didn't go away but before that we did.

If I didn't want to do it- I'd say so at the time, not the day before.

I do help lots of people with their animals when away, and they do the same for me. What I would never do, is refuse at the very last minute.

CaribouCarafe, I understand and I agree with what you say but not leaving things until the last minute goes for the cat owners especially. They requested that she give the 3 cats medication at the last minute. That in itself is bad, going away when your pets are ill? Suppose they get worse or die? What exactly are they ill with? The lady should have said no but the onus is firmly on the owners IMHO, it's too much responsibility and dangerous and CAF.

@Annanirvana I don't think it's so much prioritising the cats so much as upholding agreements. But there is also the factor that if you leave it until the last minute to let someone down, then you've created a situation where some vulnerable animal may either go without the care they need or you've caused someone to cancel their holiday.

Well there are posts of the " you promised so suck it up/you're selfish/just change the litter box "etc. Basically prioritising the cats. I never accused anyone of saying that phrase but the possibility is real. Personally I've been in a similar position, albeit I am allergic but I wasn't pregnant. I said no to looking after my neighbours 2 cats for " a couple days over Christmas". However my elderly upstairs neighbour was asked next. She was also going away (" for a couple of days") and told them that I would do it instead.
I was absolutely fuming but I did it out of concern for the cats. I slipped on ice on their patio and was in a bad way, not the cat's fault. I struggled but fed and watered them. My upstairs neighbour was away for a full week and the cat owners eventually returned TEN days later. I told both neighbours '" never again, don't ask!"

Where has anyone said that? 🙄

Three visits is a lot. The cat should be more than okay with at least one visit, unless it’s in medication that requires multiple doses a day. Honestly, it’s a big ask on their part but you did agree to do it. Make sure you are wearing a mask and gloves.

I’d be pretty annoyed with you too, UNLESS you gave them ample warning. Also, you never should have agreed to this back in January (if you were already pregnant!). Personally, I wouldn’t be cleaning her litter box without a mask and gloves, but you really should have told her this.

Definitely. I am due to go for an operation as a day case next week. I have 3 cats. One of them is diabetic and needs insulin jabs twice daily. She will be lodging at the vet's as one of the staff lives over the shop. It's just one of these things that you have to suck on in cases like this. My neighbour has offered to come in and top up the food for the other two, which is really nice of her as I didn't ask, as I know that the longest that I will be in hospital is overnight as I live on my own. The vet said that I might be kept in a longer while. I told her that I am going NHS and they need all of the space that they can get and I will be kicked out at 6am on the morning after my op so that they can get the bed ready for the next occupant.

I wonder just what the cat's medication is for? No one seems interested in that. I would think it's VERY important. She is a kind, pregnant neighbour, not a cattery or a vet.

Luckily someone else can look after those cats, you can do it next time eh? For everyone, for free, at last minute, when you're pregnant?

I call " cats matter to you more than pregnant mothers and their babies". If you can't offer advice, don't shame or guilt people placed in difficult situations because of other people's BAD planning and unwillingness to take care of their responsibilities.

Gloves, yes, just don't breathe while you pander to these people's cats, they're more important than your baby and health. Oh please! (I'm being sarcastic) Luckily someone else is going to do this unpaid, cheekily asked for and last minute request.

Yeah and too bad if she miscarries eh? Is that what you are saying?

It was to much to ask of any neighbour anyway, even her family will probably be put out and it's clear the other neighbour had probably said no due to the frequency of visits required. In my opinion she already had this back up plan incase you backed out as someone else could do it so quickly. It was just easier to leave you doing it as your next door. Sorry people called you names that isn't nice and I'm glad you contacted her straight away and got it sorted.

As for the awkwardness your moving in 3 weeks anyway so I wouldn't worry. Can I just say it was really kind of you to agree in the first place though, don't let it put you off helping your next neighbour. Most of us cat owners are sensible enough to know we can't expect the neighbours to do 3 daily visits and give medication. I'm actually quite perplexed at the sheer cheek of it tbh, if my pets need that kind of attention I'll put them in cat camp or stay at home lol 😆

Glad that worked out for you. For next time, OP, No is a complete sentence.

Hope the pregnancy and move goes well for you.

Nope. I got the father of the baby to.

This is going to turn into “cancel the checque” isn’t it?

Just do it - feed the poor old cat the meds.
Let your husband change the litter tray, once will be enough. Why don’t you make this the last time you agree to things you don’t want to do and think about different ways to say no for the future. ‘Let me get back to you’ is handy to hold people off if saying no is too difficult. Congratulations on your baby.

The neighbour understands OP’s concerns and is fine about it