Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

As you’re pregnant you should’ve said no in the first place, cats can have toxoplasmosis. Definitely do not change the cat tray

But it’s their cat so it’s a risk they take. This cat is on medication which apparently makes their digestive system “sensitive “. OP must put her baby first. And in fact the neighbour completely understood

What do you expect women who already own cats to do if they become pregnant? Rehome the cat?

Re cat pill taking, it's easier if they can eat them with treats rather than trying to wrestle them to take them. Then again, they have to learn to take the treats out of your hand in the first place. I think it's a tricky one and it's a shame things have changed. I'd try and do it if I'd agreed to.

Toxoplasmosis can kill a fetus. Don’t do it!!

Honestly it’s looking after a cat for three days. Just get on with it and don’t make your neighbour feel bad or ruin her holiday. You should never have agreed in the first place if your time is so precious you can’t commit to this . Three visits a day is ok if it’s a close neighbour only for three days!
or just go twice a day
you might need a favour yourself once the baby is born and you will need to be less flakey.

Changing cat litter is fine when pregnant as long as OP wears gloves, plenty of pregnant women have cats and make it work.

Can't they pay for a cat sitting service?
And were you pregnant the first time they asked you? I think it would have been completely reasonable to refuse on those grounds

why have you left it so late to cancel? You may just need to take it on the chin considering it’s so last minute. Your DH can do the medicine and cat litter once a day. You can feed them the other two times.

Cancel the cheque!

Your doctor would advise that you keep away from close contact with cats, it could be dangerous to your unborn baby. This is your reason for declining to do it this time.

Cancel the checque!

In your OP you say " found out about a month ago that this week is going to be really busy for us and minding their cat is an extra pressure and stress that isn’t needed. I made an excuse politely then and asked my neighbour to ask her family instead. She seemed a bit annoyed and said it was only three times a day". So rather than her saying 3 x a day a month ago, which is what I'd understood, actually you found out a month ago that the week will be too busy for you however waited until yesterday to tell her?

I agree with the people saying to ask your husband to change the cat litter once a day, so that you can avoid any risk to baby.
And if the medication is in tablet form, I find that putting Marmite on the pills helps with cats. The Marmite masks the taste of the pill, and most cats apparently seem to like Marmite.
However bizzare this might sound, worth a try if you find that other ways of medicating the cat haven't worked.
xx

Expecting a baby and cat litter trays present a high risk of Toxoplasmosis. You should not be emptying litter trays when pregnant or handling cat medication. I hope you have declined.

This is very impractical for you. Three times a day to visit a cat and give them medication and change litter is a lot, which is very different from nipping in once a day to make sure the cat has food and water, and neighbour for sure didn't make that clear to you in advance. I DEFINITELY wouldn't change that litter when pregnant...speaking as a paediatric doctor...not worth the risk. We also have house cats and certainly don't change their litter as often as that so I would question whether it even needs doing if they are away for such a short time. I would explain to neighbour changing litter is a risk you aren't going to take, and that the burden of looking after cat is a lot more than you originally thought. You can pay people to cat sit in your house which they might be able to find last min. Their responsibility to make sure their cat is looked after and shouldn't be putting pressure on you when they should clearly know this is quite a job for anyone to be doing.

Just read the thread. The neighbour has now roped some other poor sucker to do it.

Just suck it up for 4 days

the litter tray can be left for 4 days.

chances are it’s too late for a cattery

My mum does this all the time… agrees to something then does nothing but moan about it…. But then says she isn’t moaning… pisses me off!

Just wear gloves and use a poop scoop. Wash your hands afterwards!

If you can only do am and pm then just do that.. maybe if you ask another neighbour someone will do the lunchtime one? No harm in asking

This is one of the big problems with people pelasers tbh.

Agree to something months in advance that they don't really want to do but can't say no. As time passes, they realise that they really can't do it so tell someone half heartedly. Their people pleasing gets the better of them so they back down and continue with their agreement. Feel terribly hard done by and find all manner of little reason to justify not wanting to do it. Let people down at the last minute because reality kicks in.

See it as a virtue and yet its a really toxic behaviour 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you don't want to do something, say no akd mean it. But don't pretend it's all OK and then find ways of justifying letting people down at the last minute and blaming their unreasonable expectations for it.

If I was genuinely happy to do something for someone, a slight change due to circumstances wouldn't be an issue

Its four days, 5 mins each visit. 15 mins a day. Are you really "that" busy?

Wear gloves or get hubby to do litter tray. And if he can, meds as well.

Its too late to pull out now.

Stay friends with your neighbour

Wow. You handled that badly.

So think it through and how you would handle it again. Especially as you're moving anyway.

We've looked after several friends' cats before. It only involved going round once a day for food, water and litter tray. And tbh, husband mixed up dates once and cat went without care for a week. Bizarrely the cat survived.

It's stupidly unreasonable to go around 3 x a day? Who can manage that?

Were you expecting to go around 3 x a day when they first asked?

Do you have any idea of boundaries or negotiations?

Because boundaries are really important.

Especially when you move. Put limits on how much you can and will help.

Catteries will have been booked up for months. Also, don’t offer to pay halves, that’s taking it to the extreme. You’re not that big a mug, surely. Just say once a day - and it’ll be your husband who’ll be doing it, not you. She’ll have to create a rota for others to pop in - that’s what I do. It’s a nightmare but tough, that’s what happens when you have pets and want to save on cattery costs. Just text her if you’re too scared to phone her.

Looking after a cat (I do this regularly) adds a matter of minutes to your day - I suspect there is more to this than we are discussing here