Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

You've left it too late to pull out. You need to get on with it and learn to stop saying yes then have to volunteer your husband to help. I'd be bloody annoyed if I was him .

Honestly you need to stand up for yourself. You want to take risks in your pregnancy to honour a commitment where they didn't have the decency to let you know how much of a burden this has turned out to be. In fact knowing you are pregnant they didn't care, did they??
Why are you so bothered then? Doesn't it upset you how little they thought of you and instead only of themselves. With you moving in 3 weeks it makes this much easier for you. Get your dh to go around and say unfortunately you won't be doing it as the risks are too much for you to take on, he has to work unexpectedly longer hours and leave it to them to sort out. I wouldn't even feel bad that it's the last minute as they clearly do not care about you or your pregnancy!!

Before you even knew it was 3x a day you were trying to back out of it because you've got a lot on. Don't agree to things in the future if you don't want to commit to it. Would be totally unfair to back out now.

When did you first tell her you couldn’t do it?

You have 2 choices.

1.) Tell them now that you can only do one visit a day to feed the cat, and that this is what you thought you were agreeing to as you did one visit a day last time. Your DH sorts the cat litter, which he can do on his way to or from work. Accept neighbours will likely be upset as it's very last minute, but that's not your problem.

2.) Suck it up as you've left it very late now to let them down. Do the 3 visits a day for food and meds, DH sorts the cat litter either on way to or from work. It will be a pain in the arse but its only for 4 days.

Either way you need to stop dithering and make a decision.

You can't pull out the day before. Completely unreasonable.

Although I suppose if you are moving in 3 weeks you could always take the fuck em approach - but you are still completely unreasonable.

So do you mean that you haven’t responded at all?

Too ill to send a short text saying they have massively changed the goal posts and you can do once a day as they asked but not more?

How odd.

It’s too late to cancel now that’s really unfair but I think saying you only agreed to once a day and that’s all you can do is fine. You didn’t agree to 3 times a day so they can’t expect this.

You will be fine changing the litter with gloves on and good hand washing afterwards or your DH can do this once a day. They could buy an extra litter tray for the cat.

It’s awkward but you are now in the wrong…

id say “I’m pregnant so can’t change cat litter, I can drop in at X time and Y time each day, anything else please ask your family” the end.

Also, ultimately your husband alone can make it work. Feed and medicate before he goes to work, as soon as he gets home and immediately before he goes to bed. Unless it’s insulin? If so, you are going to have to sort out giving the medication and food at the right times but your husband can still do the litter trays.

It won't take long to feed/give them meds.

The meds bit depends on the cat! If it's pills it can involve chasing them round the house for hours, or coaxing them to eat them crushed in food, pushing the crushed tablets around so they don't eat around them.

Catteries are usually full many months in advance so you haven’t given your neighbour enough notice.

Why can’t your husband change the litter tray morning and night? Or else prepare a third clean one for you to put down at midday if three a day really is essential? That avoids you worrying about cat litter given you are pregnant (although decent protective gloves and mask will also do the job of your husband can’t).

I think YABU. You can’t reasonably change your mind regarding this now. You have to find a way to make it work.

I would say that you can do what you did last time which is one visit a day. Due to the last minute notice of the medication you can’t accommodate that but happy to help them by doing one visit a day and changing litter once daily. Anything else they will have to ask family for. They are unreasonable for dropping extra responsibility on you one day before the holiday knowing you’ll feel you have no choice

and what did you respond?

Surely yesterday, as soon as you got that message about the change of plans, you went round there, yes?

But you're giving no notice so thats not fair on them. Suck it up and never agree again. Change the litter once (husband obviously). It won't take long to feed/give them meds.

You should not have contact with her cat which may scratch/bite/resist.
Toxoplasmose can cause eye lesions in babies.

I wouldn't want to be messing around with cat litter etc if I were pregnant. You should have said no before now really though. Could you split the jobs up between various neighbours and DH?

You don't need to change the cat litter 3 times a day, so your husband can do that when he gets in.
I do think it's a bit off that they're only telling you now about the medication, but equally I think it's too late for you to drop out.

Speak to them again.

Ask if a family member can do one or two visits a day and you'll do the other one.

Explain you are pregnant so cat litter can be dangerous so you are unable to do it. They should be able to put a second tray down until family can change it.

If you find yourself doing the litter, use gloves and tip completely into a bin bag and refill. Less chance of any contact. Wash hands thoroughly. Can you DH then do either the AM or PM around their work. It's only a few days

If they go away tomorrow they don't have much time to make alternative arrangements.

Do what you can.

The littter tray will not need changing three times a day unless they have 20 cats or it shits everywhere.

Feeding it - just try to do it.

Medication is actually quite unreasonable to ask a random neighbour I have given many cats medication and it is an art and requires experience! Again, just say to neighbour you will do what you can.

If the cat will die without meds then honestly they should be paying for someone to look after it.

I think reasonable to stick to once daily this time then. They should have asked again when they realised they were asking for 3 times as many visits! That's like them tripling the length of their holiday and just expecting you to still do it.