Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

They aren’t going to get it in to a Cattery with under 24 hours notice. Sorry but you’ve left it far too late to do anything other than stick to your agreement. If you hadn’t wanted to do it you should have said so weeks/months ago! Good pet care options are often booked up months in advance. Unfortunately on this occasion you’re going to have to suck it up and do it

You made your biggest mistake a month ago when you told her you had a lot on. You shouldn't have backed down. If it's reasonable for their family to refuse because they have a lot on, it would have been reasonable for you to refuse for the same reason.

You should have told them you couldn't do it then. It would not be your responsibility to find a solution for them with that much notice. A month is plenty of time to make another arrangement.

One day isn't enough. It would be unreasonable to pull out completely now. However, I don't think it's unreasonable to say you cannot take on more than you originally agreed. Giving a cat medication three times a day when you are busy doing other things is no small undertaking. They should be looking for a professional cat carer to do that.

You're not the one changing the agreement, they are. If you paid for a service you wouldn't be able to change it to 3 x the amount so why would you for a neighbourly favour. Say you'll do the feeding but no more. This is not your problem. Medicating a cat and extra cat litter trays is too big an ask.

Just say no.

I think it’s a really shitty thing for you to back out now.

The pregnancy just seems like an excuse, your husband can do the litter.

So what’s the issue then? You agreed to do it so ultimately you need to get it sorted and your husband will be fine to do it. Text the neighbour back to apologise for being so difficult and let them know your husband will be doing it.

But that's the only new bit. She's known about being busy, pregnancy/litter etc. for much longer than that.

And she was told about the medication yesterday. When your neighbour is going away in 2 days, you don't sit on the information for a whole day before telling them you can't give their cat medication.

She's messing them around.

So you should have said no then!

"Sorry neighbour but you really need to find someone else to help. I'm happy to get DH to do 1x a day but that's as much as we can manage. I appreciate I agreed a while ago but you didn't say it would be 3x a day and that's just not doable for us when I'm pregnant and he's working such long hours."

Are you saying that they didn’t even tell you that it was 3x a day medicine until you said you didn’t have time now? How did they expect you to know to administer it?

It doesn’t take long to feed a cat and do a litter tray for a neighbour (so no travel time) so I think you can fit the commitment in even if you do now have other things on. The medicine though… depends what that means, if you have to actually find the cat and fight the medicine into it?

Surely you already knew you were pregnant when you agreed or in better time to let them down? That just sounds like an extra excuse.

I think it’s fair to drop out due to pregnancy - but only with more notice.
Also fine to say no to 3x a day if really not possibly, if they’ve literally only mentioned in passing that it’s needed.
But for the daily visit just because you’re busy? That’s totally flaky and unreasonable for a simple task you committed to.

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist no op only found out yesterday about the medication bit.

I agree. You've known this would be an issue for a month!

You need go be assertive.

"Hi neighbour. I'm happy to feed your cat once a day as we did before, but I am unable to go three times a day, so I am afraid you'll have to find someone else to do the other two visits as it's not feasible for is".

I look after my mates cat when she goes away but only because its once a day so doesn't interfere with my plans! Last time the cat had a medical condition so she paid for a cat sitter.

So they just changed the request yesterday, from visiting once a day to 3 times a day. And you are moving in 3 weeks and wont see them again. Time to be assertive and put yourself first.
Text something like
Sorry, cant give cat medication 3 times a day. We planned for DH to pop in once a day to feed moggy and change its litter, as previously agreed. You need to get someone else to do the other two visits.
Then be firm at sticking to no, not possible. Its their problem and their lack of planning, they are trying to make it your problem, but it really isnt for you to solve.

At this late stage, yes YABU. .

Your neighbours moved the goalposts regarding the cats medication, so YANBU to move the goalposts and change your mind. They are cheeky to expect this of you

Giving cats medication can be really difficult. Our cats are lovely but they won't eat tablets hidden in food! Me and DH have to hold them while the other person wears gardening gloves and prises their mouth open to make them take it, and even then they sometimes spit it out.

Op NOW needs to take on giving meds to the cat, increased litter mess and then go around 3x a day if there's mess and accidents to give the meds.
AND what if the cat lashes out or doesn't take the meds? Is op then responsible if it gets sick? Not to mention if it scratches her. I would be furious at their lack of consideration placing this on someone let alone someone pregnant. They are too cheap to pay for proper care for their cat, but put op in a risky situation.

Get your dh to deal with it if you can't, and then they are hopefully away for most of the next 3 weeks and then you don't need to feel bad about seeing them.

3 times a day is too much. Mine get fed twice a day so I have auto feeders so my neighbour only has to come in once a day. I have multi feeder ones so the neighbour could pop in every other day if she wanted, although she likes the opportunity to escape her kids.

What a mess. She is being unreasonable but so are you for not sticking to your guns when you originally raised it as an issue. By saying you’d make it work you have now made it your problem.
Why didn’t you say you couldn’t cat sit as soon as you knew you were pregnant? You definitely shouldn’t be changing cat litter.

Thst said, she has walked all over you. I couldn’t in good conscience put so much onto a pregnant neighbour. She doesn’t sound nice.

What would have happened if you'd suddenly become ill. They should have had a back up plan. When you have a pet it's your own responsibility to look after it, it's a big ask to want someone to visit 3 times a day and administer medication. I can appreciate they are now in a predicament but they should have checked with you about the increased responsibility earlier. Their only option is to beg their family to help as a one off, or failing that put an emergency notice on social media asking for either a cat sitter, someone who boards cats individually in their own home or someone who'll call at their house and look after the cat. These options are going to cost them money but that's the responsibility you take on when you get a pet. Put yourself, baby and husband first. It's their problem not yours but for goodness sake, tell them immediately.

Even if you intend to do the meds if you don't have experience (like vet level experience) it'll be tricky.

I had a cat that had to go on permanent meds (kidney problems and blood pressure issues) and it was very difficult.

A cat that needs meds should either have a cattery or a proper cat sitter (that's what I do as mine hate catteries)