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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To jack in my ‘good graduate job’ and change direction at 24?

140 replies

BitterAndJaded · 09/06/2024 07:40

I was extremely fortunate to fall into ‘a good graduate job’ straight after a Masters at the age of 22. I’d done some work experience there and was offered the position without having to apply or even look at anything else. Totally unlike everyone else I know who went to masses of assessment centre days and interviews only to receive multiple rejections, meanwhile having to do low level work in bars and call centres to support themselves.

Honestly though, two years in I’m hating it. The work involves doing research for the public sector and it simply isn’t anything I have any interest in at all. I spend whole days in a room on my own crunching statistics and it is mind-numbing. I truly feel like I am starting to become depressed as I am losing the motivation even to get out of bed in the morning. I doubt I am ever going to be able to get significant promotion here as I just can’t seem to get engaged with it at all (not that there’s potential to ever make big money anyway).

Admittedly I took the job partly because it meant being able to stay on in the small town where I’d studied. At the time this seemed very attractive as I felt settled here and was slightly in love with it. However all my friends have now moved on for jobs elsewhere (mostly London which I confess I find daunting), my student boyfriend and I are ancient history, I’m no longer part of the university scene and there’s not really a lot else. Dating prospects are frankly crap as it’s so small and the demographic is just all wrong (mostly older people who are already settled basically, other than a handful of PhD students).

My parents have been devastated though when I’ve talked about wanting to move on. They think of me as nicely settled here and onto something good. When I tell them how incredibly dull I find the work they say I am expecting too much. My generation’s expectation that jobs should ‘feed our souls’ is unrealistic. My father stayed in a job for over 25 years which he never much liked so that he could support us all, yet he didn’t complain. It would be realistic to think I could manage to buy a flat here in a few more years which would not be the case in London or many other places. Isn’t it worth hanging on for that?

Yet there are moments where I wonder whether I can keep going even one more day here. AIBU?

OP posts:
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Friendlygingercat · 12/01/2026 02:38

I agree with the PP upthread who advise to stay where you are and plan carefully for your next move.

You obviously have a skill for numbers and statistics in the current role you do. However I get the sense that this kind of work brings you no sense of satisfaction. Perhaps you need to work out what excites and moves you and what other skills you have in that area. Do you prefer working with people? Or something more creative.

I used to think I had made a complete change of career from librarianship to academia in my mid 40s. However many of the skills I had developed in 20 years as a librarian set me well ahead of other students on the road to academia. I only recognise that by looking back.

CormorantStrikesBack · 11/06/2024 07:20

BitterAndJaded · 09/06/2024 08:19

I have a reasonable cushion. I’m thinking I need to change direction completely though and quite possibly retrain, otherwise I’m likely just to end up unhappy again further down the line. The thought of starting over completely feels terrifying though.

If I were to stay in my current field, by far the obvious option would be the civil service. Yet that would mean applying for their very competitive new grad scheme as the experience I have is not enough to go in at a higher level. I’m not convinced I’d stand much chance though as I just don’t think I have the degree of passion required. I had a look at the application form last night and it’s full of questions like, ‘What interests you about this the work we do? What makes you want to join us?’ Errr, nothing and I don’t think I do really <rolls eyes at self>.

The university careers service will see me for two years after graduation, which is fast approaching. I have an appointment with them this week.

My brother got on the civil services grad scheme with no experience apart from flipping burgers. Obviously he had a good degree (and masters) but spent a year or two on minimum wage jobs before getting into the civil service. So don’t think it’s impossible.

Cucumbering · 11/06/2024 07:13

working on the floor with young people in complex social care or health settings or SEN education settings would give a much deeper and wider insight than a PGCE (I’ve done a PGCE and complex support work). A PGCE is mostly about delivery of education and educational standards, with differentiation thrown in, lots of children, only scratching the surface of deeper issues. While the right role in a complex setting might give you a deeper experience of diagnosis, EHCPs, annual reviews, DOLS assessments, medication understanding/reviews, CAHMS, OT & SaLT, children’s risk assessments, GP involvement, mental health emergencies, educational difficulties and solutions which are more person centred, closer relationships with parents or foster parents or residential settings, mainstream therapies and possibly alternative therapies.

In your shoes I’d sign up for agencies and ask to work in multiple settings so you can sample different environments and eventually focus in on what you really enjoy or apply directly to settings. Look for SEN work, special schools and colleges, eating disorder units, residential. Check out cqc and Ofsted reports before applying.

itsabitdamp · 11/06/2024 06:15

Definitely don't "jack it in". DO start looking for something else though. Have a think about the experience you've gained from this job and what other jobs you can transfer those skills to.

Look nationwide if you want to move away. With two years work experience under your belt you've got a good head start.

Zanatdy · 11/06/2024 05:28

You can’t live your life for what your parents want. You’re 24, look for something else. Civil service is a good option, you don’t need to join via grad route, plenty of entry level jobs and you can quickly move up the grades

Snooglequack · 11/06/2024 05:12

Have you thought about organisational psychology? You'll need masters but could even do it part time around your job.

Itllfalloff · 11/06/2024 04:54

Yay OP

Supersoakers · 10/06/2024 17:01

Yes! 🙌 had an amazing time in Australia!

Oblomov24 · 10/06/2024 11:09

Good for you.

HowWasTheEnd · 10/06/2024 10:49

Fab update OP.
I think life can be tricky for women when they know they want kids. There is a reason that so many women 'settle' for shite partners. The desire to have kids is so strong that it can override some women's normal sensible thought processes.

DPotter · 10/06/2024 10:44

Good for you ! have a wonderful trip !

BitterAndJaded · 10/06/2024 10:40

Thanks all. I have now made plans to go to Australia for three weeks this summer to visit a friend who is working out there.

I’m going to see what university careers service says too.

OP posts:
MyPinkOtter · 09/06/2024 15:36

Do it do it do it OP. I quit my ‘good graduate job’ at 30 and retrained in a totally different field and my only regret is not doing it sooner (I’m now 41). My work now pays far less but it’s a million times more fulfilling and interesting and I wouldn’t go back to what I used to do for all the money in the world.

Getting on the property ladder is a good thing to aim for eventually but if you prioritise that right now then you’ll be even more stuck in your current town with a mortgage to pay and even less likely to pack in your job to retrain or go travelling.

People will say it’s reckless advice but honestly at 24 you are far too young to be prioritising stability and security above everything else, especially your own happiness!

Nothing wrong with taking some time to make plans and save up some money for your next steps, I’m not saying hand in your notice tomorrow, but please don’t just stay in a job you hate out of fear.

Scruffily · 09/06/2024 15:16

BitterAndJaded · 09/06/2024 15:07

Yes actually. This is probably the thing I am most drawn to currently. Or research in that area.

I’ve always babysat lots. I’d need to find a full-time role with children though to be able to apply for the doctorate. Not sure what. I’m tempted to do a PGCE as a route to that but don’t want to find I can’t then get on to a doctorate course and get stuck with another career I didn’t really want. I keep hearing that competition is incredibly stiff. I should probably start anew thread specifically on this.

There's a funded training scheme for EPs that might be of interest - https://www.aep.org.uk/EPFT

Indigococo84 · 09/06/2024 15:13

God you’re only 24 and in a job that’s not making you happy. Obviously don’t chuck your job in until you’ve got a solid plan but definitely do it. I’ve told my kids to make sure they do a job that makes them happy and that they don’t dread getting up for every day.

BitterAndJaded · 09/06/2024 15:09

@AskNotForWhomTheBellCurves Thanks for typing all that up. It makes me realise I actually don’t think that would suit be.

OP posts:
BitterAndJaded · 09/06/2024 15:07

Scruffily · 09/06/2024 13:20

Have you thought about going into educational psychology? There's massive demand for it currently.

Information about how to qualify here.
.

Edited

Yes actually. This is probably the thing I am most drawn to currently. Or research in that area.

I’ve always babysat lots. I’d need to find a full-time role with children though to be able to apply for the doctorate. Not sure what. I’m tempted to do a PGCE as a route to that but don’t want to find I can’t then get on to a doctorate course and get stuck with another career I didn’t really want. I keep hearing that competition is incredibly stiff. I should probably start anew thread specifically on this.

OP posts:
MollyButton · 09/06/2024 15:05

merryhouse · 09/06/2024 13:01

The Office for National Statistics has places in Edinburgh, Manchester, Darlington, Newport and Titchfield as well as London.

In fact for ONS you are unlikely to get a London based job, the HQ is Newport, Wales with Titchfield near Southampton the other big one. Although if you are doing data analysis you can (choose) to be based at any office. You are also a Civil Servant and can apply for "intern" type time at other departments.

BitterAndJaded · 09/06/2024 15:02

titchy · 09/06/2024 12:03

Definitely my biggest priority though is being able to have a family

You're 24. Why are you so fixed on this to the extent that you're making decisions about some decision you may make in 6 years time? It doesn't really take any level of skill to have a family - in the sense that you could jack in the job, have a one night stand, spend your life on benefits - you'd be a family.

Sort out your life, career, relationship strategies etc. Get those right and happy families will follow. Don't fixate on the other way round.

Agreed. My point really is that my current job ties me to a small town with not great dating prospects. I feel like the next few years are the prime time for meeting a compatible life partner and wouldn’t want location to mean I miss out on that.

OP posts:
AskNotForWhomTheBellCurves · 09/06/2024 13:50

BitterAndJaded · 09/06/2024 09:41

I think most psychotherapy training programmes want you to be at least 30 and it’s generally a second career once you have a bit of life experience? It’s something I am open to later on.

There is clinical psychology but that’s an awfully long haul and you have to be totally dedicated to it (it takes most people at least three years of work experience to even get into a clinical doctorate). I have friends who have taken that route. I don’t know that I could really be committed enough to it. I’m quite hoping I might be in a place to start a family by 30ish.

Going travelling and/or doing a TEFL does feel like a bit of a cliche and a cop out. As does doing a PGCE which is something else I’ve considered.

I'm a new-ish EFL teacher in my early 30s and it's not a cop out, BUT in your situation I would only recommend doing it if you think you might actually want to be a teacher long term (some form of teacher anyway, not necessarily in a UK school). Teaching is tiring, you'll have a lot of evening and weekend work as you're mostly working around your students' work/school hours, it rarely pays well unless you're properly qualified and have been doing it for a few years, and moving overseas is really expensive even if you're going to a cheap country. Depending where you are, you'll probably be living a student-ish lifestyle in houseshares or rented studio apartments, which might feel like a step back if you're already settled and potentially in a position to buy a flat, and you might only be entitled to a much smaller amount of annual leave than in the UK. It's not the kind of thing you can do while barely working and spending each weekend on a different tropical beach, despite the popular perception, but it's also not really rated by most UK employers because it is seen by many people as a doss. If you do it just because you don't have any better ideas, you're going to end up spending a lot of your savings to be in the same position a year or two from now, only now with a messier CV, no pension contributions and even more stress about having 'wasted' that time.

On the other hand, if you do like the job then it has the potential to be an actual career. If you're reasonably talented and willing to stick at it for a while then it's not too hard to land a decent paying job and/or a management position, because so many of your colleagues will be people who are just looking for a 1-2 year adventure or want a job that lets them hop countries without being fussed about progression. There are routes back to the UK as well - if you have a few years' experience teaching adults you can work for the Home Office assessing people's English for immigration applications, for example. I think I'd like to stay in this field for life, and I only wish I'd started at 24 instead of basically giving up everything to start an entry level job in my 30s!

AnonSoc · 09/06/2024 13:36

Based on how you have described your current job, OP, you could probably transition quite easily into doing Evaluation and Social research.

Have a look at places like Ipsos, Verian, IFF, Nat Cen, etc. You could probably join at SRE level with your current experience without having to do a brand new grad scheme.

These companies are all in London though.

Scruffily · 09/06/2024 13:20

Have you thought about going into educational psychology? There's massive demand for it currently.

Information about how to qualify here.
.

Ratisshortforratthew · 09/06/2024 13:13

First of all, ignore your parents. Yes they want the best for you but this clearly isn’t the best! Change is daunting but it’s absolutely worth it, even if you do have to take a side or back step to get where you want.

Personally I think travelling or working abroad is a brilliant idea - I wish I’d done it at your age, instead I’m catching up on all the travel I never did now and I’m 10 years older!

Where do you think you want to move, and what is it about London that scares you? The size, the seemingly endless opportunities, finding somewhere to live? There is a lot of opportunity in London but do you have to chase it quite doggedly. That said, London isn’t the be all and end all. Manchester has lots going for it, Leeds has a really vibrant creative/digital sector, Bristol is also great, both are smaller than London and possibly easier to navigate. With a statistics background I’d imagine there are lots of options open to you in the private sector if you wanted to go down that route, like analyst roles in various guises.

I agree you do need to do some strategic thinking and planning about what kind of thing you’d like to do and look into free online courses to get started before spending money on retraining. I’ve done a couple of similar career pivots (albeit not in your sector) without having to get extra quals so feel free to PM me for advice you want!)

merryhouse · 09/06/2024 13:01

The Office for National Statistics has places in Edinburgh, Manchester, Darlington, Newport and Titchfield as well as London.

stayathomer · 09/06/2024 12:59

I’d agree with deciding what you want before you leave your job but two years is a decent length of time with your first job. Just make sure you’re not just tired an a week off wouldn’t help- it’s the old thing of working to live- ie if you’re doing well you’ll have money to do things you enjoy outside work and do can put up with work to a certain extent.

Parents will never understand because they’re worried about you losing the benefits that come from a secure job, Id be the same but cheered on my niece when she left an amazing college course to go work with horses so it all depends! Best of luck x

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