Unaware of privilege - end friendship?

If that's the case, I have to wonder if op is quick to recognise their own privilege.

If ‘recognising your privilege’ is a key attribute you look for in a friend then best to go ahead and end it.

No-one likes to be "othered", especially by their friends. No wonder he got defensive.

It sounds like you're envious - I would be too! - but you're letting it make you forget your manners (don't publicly count other people's money, ESPECIALLY not to their face!) and why you're friends in the first place.

If it's too difficult to remain friends given the financial disparity, of course you're allowed to end the friendship, but he's done nothing wrong in not wanting to separate himself from your friendship group by performing a smug "Yes, we're TERRIBLY lucky compared to you" routine.

For his wage, I expect he does work hard and have at least a somewhat stressful job, regardless of his assets, and it probably speaks quite well of him that he feels obliged to do that rather than sit on his behind and enjoy the fruits of his parents' labour.

Fascinating thread, and I see the votes are currently quite close. I'd be in OP court on this one. I get very frustrated by people who constantly complain how hard up they are but I often see them defended on MN. It's funny people are saying the OP should check her privilege but apparently this guy is shoring up society employing people with his wealth etc!

The only thing I would point out is that he didn't seem to be complaining - so maybe he did get defensive and then his opinion because clear. Maybe if that conversation hadn't happened, OP wouldn't have realised that he didn't acknowledge his own privilege?

The two of you attacking him sounds desperately unpleasant. I wouldn't think you'll need to break off the friendship, because he will.

You should also remember that you may not prooerly understand all financial circumstances of friends. There may be mortgages on all the properties and his salary plus nanny might be essential, you simply don't know because it is not your business to know.

Exactly.

Wealthy people are vital to the economy OP. They employ people and give us mere mortals something to aim for.

One day you might need his support so I wouldn't consider ending a friendship for this reason.

Elizabeth Bennet was right to adjust her mind set.

I wanted to say almost exactly this.

You also have no idea of what may be going on his life/relationship/family/health.

You don't sound like a friend, tbh, just jealous and judgmental. He is fortunate, perhaps he doesn't fully appreciate how much, but to end a friendship over it is ridiculous. Why does he have to pass some sort of test with you that involves him proving to you that he understands his privilege? Seriously?

Absolutely. He's earning 200k. Even if you think he only got the job through nepotism, presumably he's still working hard to keep it. He COULD sell his houses and live off the money but id respect him more for his work ethic, not living off his parents and his expectation that his child will do the same

Well given it doesn't sound like she's happy with what's happening to her considerable salary, maybe she needs a chat about financial abuse instead of just "yeah, it's hard being skint" platitudes.

You don’t need to answer by the way 😆

@fieldsofbutterflies do you know the meaning of the word literal?

I'd hate if my friendship group was rude enough to start counting my money. I have a friend in similar position to your wealthy friend who would complain she has to rent a cheap caravan for holidays as all her money is tied up in investments and salary (solid 6 figures for her, and high 5 figures for hubby) barely keeps them on the breadline.
But I wouldn't imagine shoving this back to her; I would listen and sympathise and carry on.

This. He was ganged up on and defended himself. It’s the two of you who don’t know what friendship is.

I think it's funny that OP seems annoyed that they think this man doesn't need to work, but yet he does.

I'd like to know their opinion on all those who should work but don't 😉

Typical MN making out OP is jealous.

OP it’s totally up to you who you are friends with and the reasons behind it. For me (as someone with no money what so ever) I don’t think I would be friends with him in the first place, not because I judge people on what they earn but because I mix in different circles. I don’t think it was right to comment on his financial situation, it probably came across as a personal attack. If you want to stay friends with him then do, it might be that he doesn’t want to stay friends with you?

I'm sorry, but I also smell jealousy conveniently cloaked under political correctness...

His lack of self awareness and entitlement would put me off him too.

I wouldn't end the relationship just on this basis. If he was a DH in general, yes. My dear friends were left millions and property by her DM and her husband's mum left Millions too, very well off, worth around 10 million combined. They are really nice, know how privileged they are, but also worked and maintained they have worked towards their wealth as it is, in reality, its spending money. However, its none of my business... they're kind decent folk who have helped others less fortunate, not with cash but with their time.
Another friend who was loaded, once made me hold my hand out whilst she counted 10k out into my hand, her holiday spending money , Knowing i was struggling, rubbing it in my face... humiliation. I haven't had anything to do with her since. Luckily im on my feet now and well...ish off. Hard work... no hand outs. I think if they're/he is decent as a person it doesn't matter if he doesnt see hes privileged, as long as he doesn't look down on people

Are you always so literal?

You say you couldn't care less about someone's income but i think you very much do. You are the one making an issue out of this not him Maybe he is the one that needs to end this friendship, after all who needs friends that spout off about you finances.

Why do you have to be right?

You are actually voicing so much intolerance that you want to show how right and righteous you are by ending a friendship with someone who inimagine is otherwise perfectly pleasant?

There is a reason for the rule about never talking politics or money with friends.

People questioning your friend are being rude. It's none of anyone's business. Some friend you are.

It’s all relative. He may not be well off compared to others in his social group. It’s not your job to make him aware of his privilege though.