Unaware of privilege - end friendship?

Oh look! Another Sunday morning 4am shit stirring made up thread. This must be a weekly thing by the same person. Plus folk fall for it lol 😂

I put you are not being unreasonable to end the friendship - for his sake.

I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to end his friendship with you. So much envy and bitterness towards him and his daughter is pretty nasty.

Being wealthy is not a crime and he is not a "twat" for refusing apologising for it.

No one is handed £200,000 a year for doing nothing. He must have to work hard for it. I'd be pretty pissed off with a "friend" who expected me to apologise for being hardworking and successful. He is fortunate to have inherited wealth as well, but he shouldn't have to feel bad about that either.

End the friendship by all means. For his sake and his daughter's. They don't need such a bitter and judgemental person souring their lives.

You see it a lot in this country.

I vote YABU becuase you shouldn't be friends with someone you can't just ay "Don't be such a twat" to, when you think they're being a twat, and leave it at that.

If you feel stifled and unable to express anything but approval of everything he says, it's not much of a friendship so yes, let go of it if he irritates you!

This 💯 % 🙄

Why do they need to keep reminding her? It’s not a competition.

What is the feeling about men and male privilege?

You sound very bitter, jealous, and shallow.

Exactly this. How often are they supposed to be ‘acknowledging’ it? Every time they see you? Once a month, just so you don’t think they’ve forgotten how privileged they are? Annually on their birthday?

As a person on a low income and from a poor background I feel insecure around my friends who grew up with privilege and who fail to admit it

Why do you want them to admit it? Surely it would be a bit crass and insensitive for them to talk to you about their "privilege" when you are obviously conscious and insecure of your own background. If they were going on about their privilege people would be complaining about how rude and inconsiderate they are rubbing people's noses in it.

I don't understand people who talk about people they class as friends in this way. I have no friends that I feel insecure around. If I feel insecure around someone I tend not to spend time with them and therefore don't class them as friends.

I just find it strange that so many people who consider themselves poor have so many privileged friends. And I find it even more strange that these poor people expect their privileged friends to go on about it.

This is a made up post to stir shit. The poster did not come back. So many sad people out there.

Good point by PP, what did your friend, or you hope to get from this particular discussion? I assume none of the 3 of you are exactly on the bread line. So you are all privileged. He just happens to have a better job and more assets. Maybe he was trying to explain that looking at him thinking he's privileged is a futile exercise and you yourselves are not exactly destitute. He works. He is educating his daughter and making sure she doesn't grow up entitled. Sounds like a decent human.

Why did the friend not single you out as also being privileged?

It doesn't sound like you're a great friend. I can understand him becoming defensive. If you can't handle his privilege, maybe step away from the friendship. This says more about you, though.

Your friend’s financial situation is none of your business. And raising it in a political discussion (‘well, it’s alright for you…’) is pretty crass and is of course going to put him on the defensive.

People lead different lives and have different opinions. Live with it,

And considering abandoning something as precious as a friendship because of a disagreement like this is, frankly, babyish.

yabu, if you start comparing wealth and privilege you had better be the one with no feet - in the old saying "I envied a man for having shoes, until I met a man with no feet" The truth is if you are born in the west you are likely to be more privileged than most of the worlds population.

Perhaps he was wrong not to admit. Perhaps he felt that it would not stop there. Op, what did you want to get out of him by his acknowledgement. I say this as someone who in this country is disadvantaged but in mine, am privileged. I do get scrubbed off by people who ate unaware of their privilege. At the same time am wondering what the end game here was? You by just living in this country are more privileged than over a billion people. It's great if you always acknowledge this every time politics and global inequality is discussed and hopefully you go beyond acknowledgement to take action to effect change. That would be the only goal in my eyes for such a discussion. But perhaps your friendship has expired. Cut the strings. You don't have to make a sermon of it

The overwhelming majority of people have some form of privilege
there a lot to context and tone in conversations like this
presently you have to feel like u have to be eternally, grateful and apologise for having anything

I wouldn’t be worry about ending your friendship if he’s anything about him he’ll beat you to it

love the I generally don’t care comment

It is very natural/normal for 'successful' people to disproportionately credit their own efforts and downplay the impact of luck (and for 'unsuccessful' people to do the opposite).

I'm not a fan of the phrase 'check your privilege' but it is a good thing to remind yourself to a) count your blessings and b) be aware that your perspectives/worldview are not shared by everyone. Self-awareness is a trait I value in my closest friends so, whilst I wouldn't end a friendship over an isolated instance like this, if it was part of a pattern we'd end up drifting apart (and have done in some cases).

I think it's human nature to get defensive when someone points out you are privileged without any context.

I don't know what was said by him that followed other person to call him privileged. Did he say Tories are better because of their economic and tax related policies?

As I know the details, I can't comment. In general after a while people of very different economic backgrounds cannot relate and that can impact friendships.

It's almost like you want him to grovel and apologize for being wealthy. He's not gloating or rubbing it in your faces, so you should just leave him alone. True friends celebrate each other's success, achievements and well-being. They don't resent them, and they don't expect their rich friend to 'know he's privileged' I'm saying this from the POV of someone who hasn't a penny to their name with lots of wealthy friends!

Your friend has really done nothing wrong by inherting his parents' fortune and being a high earner. On the other hand - he seems tone-deaf.

I think the so called friend who brought up the subject of his wealth in the first place is the one ‘staggeringly unaware and tactless’.

I think if I was ambushed like this during a discussion I’d be the one to back away from all the so called friends associated with it. He was ambushed and you all expected him not to defend himself. If he’s worked hard then it’s hardly fair to label the result of that hard work as ‘privilege’. Sounds like a big dose of the green eyed monster to me.

Why does this matter?

I'm not trying to be funny but if he doesnt accept he's privileged, that's his perogative cos the definition of privilege is opinion.

Yes he is wealthy and could retire tomorrow, but instead he works to support his family and cover his outgoings, just like many og the rest of us. Yes I dont have £10m worth of proprty and got nothing from the bank of mum and dad but i dont begrudge my brother for being a multi millionaire cos he worked for it and continues to work.

Find a better reason to end a friendship youre not happy with.

I wonder if you're a good friend to him based on asking this question. YABU