Unaware of privilege - end friendship?

It's very common for people to delude themselves like this, so I wouldn't deliberately end a friendship over it.
However, I did unintentionally end a friendship with someone who was boasting about how independent he was. I pointed out that he still took his washing around to his eighty-something mother for her to do. He was really upset with me and stopped contacting me.

Now I'm thinking - he is a twat! I don't care about how much he has as long as he knows he's privileged and I genuinely think he views him self as an average joe putting in the graft to get by when the reality is he's ridiculously well off and must own nearly 10mil in property!!

if that's how you think about a friend, he'll be a lot better off if you walk away.

What a stupid and pointless argument/discussion.

I rent social housing, I am a single parent (DV related) and I have a disability (partially sighted). Would you consider me privileged? Well I do because I know there are enough humans out there who’d kill for the security I have.

Everyone has some privilege.

Why is it that when people gain wealth they have to walk around in sackcloth and ashes, self-flagellating and wailing that they're so lucky to have such privilege and that they don't deserve it.

It's really tiresome, just leave him alone. If I were your friend OP I wouldn't think kindly of you splashing his financial circumstances out here on SM for all to see, to shame him for his 'crime'.

Well, most people get defensive when they feel under attack.

End the friendship if you think your friend is “a twat”. But I wouldn’t assume that he’s unaware of his good fortune based on the exchange you describe. It sounds as if “privileged “ was being used not as a neutral description of good fortune but as a criticism, so he tried- albeit clumsily- to defend himself. I imagine your friend felt uncomfortable being made to feel different from the group and was trying to minimise the difference- not necessarily because he wasn’t aware of his financial position but because no some likes feeling attacked or forced to justify themselves. Sounds like he responded badly in the moment.

If this is something you would end the friendship over, you cant have been great friends to begin with. Friends tend to know this sort of thing about each other already, and cut each other some slack rather than treating social engagement like a Twitter pile on.

It's up to you if you can tolerate it, really. I had to step back from a priveledged friend who had everything handed to her by her in laws. Also childcare for half the school week including pickups, activities & when she & her DH took frequent (paid for) overseas trips.

What I I couldn't take was her constant complaining about needing a break, had no money & how her (lovely) MIL was too involved in their lives. I had a monster MIL, zero childcare, could barely afford a basic holiday & never got a night off.

There's only so much a person can take before exploding so I just backed away before that happened.

It was just so usual for her, she honestly believed she was entitled to the assistance & never considered how lucky she was.

No said he should move house but if he did he would have more money -that's a could, not a should.

No I wouldn't end a friendship over that. I'm not surprised he got defensive as it sounds like the other friend was having a bit of a dig at him. And pointing out he should move house! No one else's bloody business. If anything he'll probably be ending the friendship-who can be arsed having to defend their lifestyle to that degree?

I wouldn't end the friendship in a dramatic way but it's fine to raise it again. He does sound out of touch!

How long have you been friends with him?
if this has only just surfaced, maybe just avoid discussing his finances with him?

The majority of well off people don’t like to think good fortune just fell in to their lap. It must be undermining to whatever work they have done - and he must do something good for his £200k?
I am saying the above to try and be fair though. Someone with some much wealth telling me they aren’t really that well off and need to work wouldn’t sit great with me either!