Unaware of privilege - end friendship?

Someone privileged is someone better off than you. Everyone sees things from their own point of view, in his circle he may well feel he has to work really hard to have the lifestyle some of his friends have without having to work hard.

Do you consider yourself privileged compared to people poorer than you?

If I was him I'd be ending the friendship with you.

Meh, all wealthy people are like this. Either he has other redeeming features and you can overlook this flaw or you can't. Personally think the person having a dig at his good fortune is more of an arsehole tbh.

The rich person in this scenario doesn't appear to have any such attitude. The only attitude seems to be coming from the OP and the other friend.

I sometimes get telling people to consider their own privilege when a lucky to be well off person is criticising less fortunate people for not doing so well as them.

Otherwise it's really wanky. It's forgivable for a 16 old in the middle of that know it all stage most of us go through but it's cringey in a grown adult.

What are you trying to achieve by pointing this out? I mean wealth, poverty and privilege are relative terms. You could argue that everyone on here is wealthy, because if they weren't, they couldn't afford a device with internet access. On the other hand, I know plenty of people who would be poor in comparison to me who still have phones or tablets/computers etc. I don't know - I guess people move in their own circles and so compare more with "their own" than with a cross section of the population.

There's nothing OP has said to suggest that he thinks this.

The attitude I hate from rich people is that people who aren’t successful in life are therefore lazy or stupid.

Folk who blame individuals and even countries, for being poor, rather than society and history.

A sadly prevalent attitude among the rich I’ve had personal experience of.

Maybe he doesn't want to liquidate and give up work. Maybe he has a work ethic. Maybe he wants to be an example to his daughter that you have to work in life. Wealth can disappear very quickly with a bad decision or two. This man felt under attack (and if @Selman is considering ending the friendship then obviously it wasn't a nice pleasant admiring conversation) and defended himself. He knows he's wealthy. His 'friends' know he's wealthy. I don't know why he has to confirm that to you or admit anything. And I don't know why would consider ending a friendship for this reason unless of course you are envious of him and find yourself resenting him.

Sorry op but you just sound jealous. End the friendship if you think he is a twat, sounds like you might be doing him a favour.

I agree with this. He is a lucky man. However he thought you were his friends and now he sees how envious you are of him. If I was him, I would end the friendship with you and the other ' friend'

The only twat here is you, you friend was disgustingly rude. Why should he accept he is privileged because you say so?
I think if you end the friendship he will have dodged a bullet as you seem judgemental, jealous, and nasty. How vulgar to talk about his finances that way.

YABU to end the friendship over just this conversation. Unless you just don’t like him and this is an excuse to end the relationship.

However, I agree that if it ever comes up, a gracious, compassionate and intelligent person would acknowledge at the least that he has been given a big leg up in life (understatement!) and that the wealth is not just down to his genius and hard graft.

Most of us aren't aware of how privileged we are. You seem to want him to somehow apologise or defer because of his fortune. It might be annoying that he's out of touch (could spending time with more average people be what educates him?) but it doesn't sound as though he treats anyone badly and in his way, working when he doesn't need to, he's probably trying to stay as grounded as anyone can when born into that extremely fortunate position.

End the friendship if you want, if your dealbreaker for friendships is that people, however nice and loyal they are, "acknowledge their privilege", whatever that means. (You'll be applying it consistently, I assume.) But you'll be the one who let money come between you, not him.

If someone pointed out your privilege compared to most people in the world and then they ended the friendship over it, how would you feel? Would you think gosh I must be grateful for my life for ever more now that I am aware of my privilege, or would you think that the other person was a bit jealous and over dramatic and you might be better off without them?

I would be upset if I were him. His friends badgering him to accept his privilege. Doesn’t sound like the kind of thing friends do.

The fact OP is mates with someone with this level of wealth makes me think she’s hardly on the bones of her arse, living in a shared bedsit in Jaywick. Wonder if she’d like someone with less than her being in her face about her own privilege?

It’s not an ‘opinion’ though. It’s a fact he could liquidate a couple of investments, live off income from the rest and he could live very comfortably without working. It is hard to respect someone with that much wealth who can’t do the basic calculations and just know that for the factual reality it is.

It absolutely works both ways - don't you see how people get defensive when told that being poor is their own fault? Why is this always fine to say you're poor and struggling because of bad luck, society is unfair etc but if you're wealthy it's always luck and privilege?

I’m pretty certain he knows how privileged he is. Does he really need that stating by anyone? Of course he will end up feeling defensive.
Conversations like this will never end well, and he has felt that he has justify his wealth to you. Very strange to consider you’d end a friendship over this.

Reallly my friends range from multi millionaires to couch surfing homeless people. You are letting their wealth define your relationship
Ate thet a nice person ? Thats all you need to know

You come across as jealous and bitter
he’s working and must have a good career on that amount of pay so he’s not exactly sitting around enjoying his inheritance doing nothing! Which as you pointed out he could be! No wonder he’s defensive
I think yabu for being critical and judgement about him
id say he doesn’t need friends like you
plus he’s had to suffer heartache no doubt losing parents to have this, which I would not wish upon anyone

I'm sure he's aware that he's "privileged". Aren't we all in some sense. But felt the need to defend himself somehow from what he suspected was an attack. And as the outcome of this conversation is that you now think he's a twat and are considering ending the friendship then maybe he was being attacked by you both.

Why did the other friend feel the need to point out to him he was privileged. Surely that obvious to everyone. No need to point it out. But even though he has great wealth, he will have associated bills, outgoings, expenses, liabilities that need to be managed. He clearly works hard. Would you prefer him to sit on his arse all day rubbing your noses in how rich he is? If your friendship is so fragile that you would consider ending it over this one incident then it's better that you do. You don't see him as a friend at all.

To be honest, I think it was a bit poor of you and your friends to make another friend feel uncomfortable by supposedly calling them out for being privileged. I'm not surprised he was a bit defensive! If he is a decent person then I really don't understand why you would end a friendship? I'm getting the impression that you are all a bit jealous and decided to attack him. If he has a job that earns 200k he is clearly not a lazy layabout who just lives off of his parents money!

Maybe he’s asset rich, cash poor. Maybe he feels under pressure to work hard to earn money to send his daughter to the expensive school, etc. Maybe he views a privileged person as someone who never has to work. Maybe he doesn’t like being judged.

Maybe he does have a lot if money but it sounds like he doesn’t flaunt it and it’s never been a problem before.

I think a lot of people with inherited wealth feel guilty about it deep down. They also shouldn't really, because IHT has been paid etc. However it is easy to tar them with the "silver spoon" and basically write off anything they have achieved themselves which must be pretty soul destroying.

I'm not saying he isn't a twat or hasn't reacted badly, but I do think often kids of wealthy families feel they can't do much right, even if they do work full time or make changes to the world, because someone will always tell them it was because they had a silver spoon.