To want to do something with just my kids?

But why should he though? You’re only suggesting that in retaliation to his younger children

to make sure equal amount of holidays? We're not told why the girl's own mother doesn't take her on holiday.
OP and HER children - technically fine. But then you're either are family or you are not. Siblings will read that message.

But why should he though? You’re only suggesting that in retaliation to his younger children spending some nice quality time with their mum. There shouldn’t be anything automatically owed to dsd on the back of OP and her children spending quality time together on a little holiday.

If he does take his eldest away then I hope he books something for just his younger children too.

Don't know why there is so many nasty comments on this post, taking your own children away is perfectly acceptable. Unless dh was coming with you. I would maybe have the conversation with DSD about the holiday on how she does other things with mum that don't include her siblings. I hope you and your children have an amazing holiday ❤️

It is abit mean..your husband should take his own biological daughter on a holiday while you the other children are gone

Husband is working and not going anywhere.
OP is technically doing nothing wrong. But this dynamic may cause a rift and resentment in long term. Divorced kids are very sensitive to discrimination.

It is abit mean..your husband should take his own biological daughter on a holiday while you the other children are gone

No, you’re not.

he’s asked, you said no, don’t give it another thought.

People are literally suggesting that instead of her mother doing what OP is doing - holidaying with her children - that her father needs to provide something extra that he wouldn’t for the younger two.

He has three children, not just one.

It's not compensating for what her mother does or doesn't do

It's spending time with his kid!
The OP wants to spend time with her own. He spends most (all?) his time with them and a bit where his first child is there too
Why can't she have time just with her dad?

Because sometimes it's nice for a child to spend time with their parent on their own?
Does she not ever spend time without her step-siblings there?

(all my DGC like spending one-to-one with their parents sometimes)

I don’t think you are being unreasonable especially as she isn’t your daughter and your DH isn’t going. Plus wondering if the ex takes your two kids away? I bet not! Screw that, stick to your guns.

Her own mother could take her away if she has such fomo! The cheek!

Well I think you have your hands full enough! If both you and DP fine but on your own is much more stressful. Yes you should be able to do things with just your own kids and have other trips altogether as a bigger family. Xx

Taking someone else’s child away with you on holiday is a massive responsibility and if you’re not like 120% for it then you shouldn’t feel obliged to do it. I def couldn’t do it

👏

Sorry, late to convo, how old are they all? X

It’s up to her mother to provide the second holiday if her having one is essential.

It's disgusting how many mothers expect the stepmother to fix their failings. Imagine being that entitled.

It's not about excluding anyone.

If OPs husband did a short break with just his daughter, then all three of his kids will have two holidays this year; one with just one parent, and one as a family. He would also then be funding the same number of holidays for all three of his kids. I can't see how that would be unfair on anyone.

As things stand, he's (part) funding two holidays for his kids with the OP, and only one holiday for his other daughter.

Anyway, it's clear that the OP isn't interested in any views other than the ones which agree with her, and regardless isn't bothered about how the SD may feel about the situation. So it's irrelevant what anyone says anyway.

I’m disgusted by how women marry men and treat these men’s children as 2nd class citizens.

You’ve been in each others lives since she was very young and all children aren’t exactly far apart in age. I do wonder if you’re not keen on her. I do get that you want to do something with your own children but to not invite her will make her feel so left out and even at 16, she’ll just feel like she’s not wanted.

It’s a tough one. Yes, you should be able to do something with your own kids, but some things just cause so much drama when you feel like you have to accommodate others too. I wouldn’t envy being you or the 16 year old to be honest.

Wild to suggest that OP’s DH should exclude two of his children for compensating for his DD’s step mum not taking her away. Why should his kids need to compensate for going away with their mother.

enjoy your holiday OP.

Aw that sounds lovely. Have a fab time! 😊
Glad you’re feeling guilt free about it, too.

Dsd’s mum can always get booking 4 nights in Spain for her and dsd.