To want to do something with just my kids?

OP, have a lovely holiday with your children and put this thread out of your mind.

How dare you be a loving, caring parent to your children by making sure they enjoy their childhood and have happiness in their lives!

Some people would rather your children could do nothing without SD but have no issue with her doing nice things with her mother, no cure for such bitterness and resentment.

Hope you and your children have a wonderful holiday 😊

FWIW I am a SC, my step father was the one who included me in family things while my mother excluded me at large. I lived with them and 3 younger siblings full time.
At 15 I was working and they went away without me, he actually asked if I wanted to go too, she didn't. A week of working and spending time with my friends at my gran's was definitely my choice over a holiday with 12, 10 and 9 year old siblings.

As I say, absolutely your right. Enjoy the holiday

What’s deplorable about 2 children spending some quality time doing with their mum?

I would say dsd's mother is deplorable for not taking her child on holiday @Outliers . Disgraceful. OP and her DH are taking dsd away in October.

Good for you,I hope you and your DC have a great time.🙂

Deplorable in my view, but absolutely your right.

What’s the other way around?

I remember that thread too. Not allowed on the peddle boats/not allowed an ice cream because the dsc weren’t with them 🤦🏼‍♀️. Absolutely bonkers.

but this is the other way around.

I remember that thread too. Not allowed on the peddle boats/not allowed an ice cream because the dsc weren’t with them 🤦🏼‍♀️. Absolutely bonkers.

In your reasoning how far should OP take this "fairness" no darlings you can't have an ice-cream this week as DSD isn't here, no we can't go out for the day as DSD isn't here... just go and sit in your room until she arrives

I've been around for years and distinctly remember a thread where posters were adamant that the OPs children were allowed to go to the park while her DSC were with their mother, but a shot on the little paddle boats on the pond at the park was too much fun for them to enjoy without the DSC and would have to wait. I can't remember whether they were allowed an ice cream or not 🤔

See also "no, you absolutely can't just nip into McDs for a quick dinner on your way home, you must do a 40 minute round trip to collect the DSC or it's not fair on them"

And so on and so forth. They walk among us.

Because self-employed men are well known for their excessive CMS contributions. Not.

@Shelby2010

He is treating all his children fairly.. he is taking them all away on holiday in October

The mother to 2 of his children are taking them on holiday with money SHE contributes to the family (at a time when DSD is at her mums anyway)

The mother of the other child can take her away with money she contributes to her household income (with possible maintenance payments by the father contributing to that household)

In your reasoning how far should OP take this "fairness" no darlings you can't have an ice-cream this week as DSD isn't here, no we can't go out for the day as DSD isn't here... just go and sit in your room until she arrives 🤷🏻‍♀️

Presumably he pays the mother child support. She can use some of that and call it his contribution to taking her own child on holiday. Same as OP is doing with hers.

Anyway, the situation for OP seems to be resolved.

Why is it so hard to grasp that DH needs to ensure HE is treating ALL his children fairly. Nothing to do with what his ex does.

He is contributing to a summer holiday for 2 out of 3 of his children. He asked the OP to take DSD & she said No, which is completely up to her. But the money that would have been spent to take DSD should still be used to fund a trip, day out or whatever, for her.

Maybe he should give the money to DSD’s mother to take her somewhere, given that OP won’t tolerate DH going away with DSD on her own.

Why are you so determined that everyone is having an affair?
I'm my husband AKA "Leftovers" first wife, he was never married to the "Used goods" he made "The Mistake" with and had split up from her before I ever met him.
This isn't hard to figure out for people who aren't sniffing out scandal everywhere.

Why are you so intent on insisting OP had a affair? It's none of your business when they got together but given the SD is 16 and OPs oldest is 12 most people would assume there wasn't an overlap.

Why are you not assuming that OPs husband only had a brief relationship with SD's mother that resulted in a child? Or that they had a ONS and tried to have a relationship for the sake of the child but just weren't compatible? Scenarios that are just as likely as affairs breaking up relationships.

DSD has her own mother, why is it her father's sole responsibility to ensure she gets 2 holidays? He and OP are taking her on holiday. OP is also taking her own children on holiday.
Why is it so hard to grasp that SC's mother should be shouldering that responsibility. I highly doubt OPs husband doesn't pay some sort of maintenance for the elder child as well.

I'm not sure - may have missed it though - that DSD's mother ('the ex') doesn't take her on holiday. But I guess it's not about quid pro quo about the fairness of number of holidays but the feeling of being excluded, especially when you have had your SM in your life since you were a toddler, i.e. for a child, as long as they remember.

Sorry to ask, you said 'he wasn't married before you' so a bit unclear - did you get together with your DH whilst he was still with his ex?