Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

sport, sport and more ruddy sport

36 replies

emsworth · 08/06/2024 21:34

My husband (of 20+years) today has watched horse racing, the rugby and now cricket.
He is playing golf all day tomorrow.
I have suggested watching a film this evening or something together.
He has streamed the cricket on his 'phone and said, "you watch what you want, I'm watching the cricket'.
Am I unreasonable to just want a couple of hours sport free and undivided with my husband?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
FrivolousKitchenRollUse · 09/06/2024 15:39

XelaM · 08/06/2024 22:11

Wimbledon is starting soon (also Roland Garros mens final tomorrow) 😅

Show quote history

I've got into the Tour de France the last few years as well (despite not having ridden a bike since the 90's!) so thats another one to add. What a summer! Always interesting re the Olympics as to what sports we become an expert in for just a fortnight!

Perfumefun · 09/06/2024 12:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

fieldsofbutterflies · 09/06/2024 12:53

ginasevern · 09/06/2024 12:50

I don't think it's unreasonable to want your life partner to do something enjoyable together. Otherwise what's the bloody point, you might as well not be married. The OP used a film as an example, everyone seems fixated on that. It's not about her DH "entertaining" her, it's about spending quality time together and respecting the fact you are in a relationship - which last time I checked is a shared existence and consists of many compromises.

I think people are fixating on the film because it's not exactly the best example of quality time.

murasaki · 09/06/2024 12:50

I had the cricket on the tv yesterday , it was a big game. Dp was half watching and half watching Netflix on his tablet. Both perfectly OK with that.

ginasevern · 09/06/2024 12:50

I don't think it's unreasonable to want your life partner to do something enjoyable together. Otherwise what's the bloody point, you might as well not be married. The OP used a film as an example, everyone seems fixated on that. It's not about her DH "entertaining" her, it's about spending quality time together and respecting the fact you are in a relationship - which last time I checked is a shared existence and consists of many compromises.

fieldsofbutterflies · 09/06/2024 12:44

Sport isn't the issue - the issue is you want him to stop doing something he loves just to sit there and do something he doesn't.

If you want quality time together then you need to talk to him about that, but asking him to swap a game for a film probably isn't the way to go.

FTPM1980 · 09/06/2024 12:44

The thing is sport is live, films aren't.
So while I do get annoyed if OH is focused on sport at expense of say a meal out or visitors etc, expecting him to not watch live sport so we can watch a film together is a bit pointless.

BunsenBurnerBaby · 09/06/2024 12:43

I agree w PP who said you’d be getting different replies if he were out of the house . I’m with you: it’s about how he is choosing to spend his time (which is a limited resource) and is not prioritising quality time with you. Perhaps tho he doesn’t see that watching a film with you is quality time: could you do something else together? Then he could watch sport and you could watch a film afterwards.

CwmYoy · 09/06/2024 12:37

I made sure to marry a man who disliked watching sport even more than I do.

Perfumefun · 09/06/2024 12:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 09/06/2024 09:35

Can you not watch the sport with him? Is there something you want to do that isn't watching TV?

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 09/06/2024 09:31

DH will watch footy, cricket, tennis, darts…. most things! Only sports he doesn’t really follow are rugby and golf.

But he picks the bits he particularly wants to see and also spends time with me and/or the kids. Maybe he’ll have radio on while we’re doing something else.

It’s got to be a bit balanced, surely.

longdistanceclaraclara · 09/06/2024 09:27

Husband gets on with it. I get to watch my 'vacuous shit' as does he.

Original poster
emsworth · 09/06/2024 09:09

Gymnopedie · 08/06/2024 23:30

OP if your DH was out all day on both Saturday and Sunday playing golf or some other sport you'd be told YANBU. Because he's physically in the house for one of those days people are piling on as if it should be fine.

I disagree. He is just as unavailable when he's watching sport as he would be if he was playing. I'm guessing that as well as not sparing you a few hours of his valuable sport watching time he doesn't do anything in the house either. And that it's not just weekends but evenings too. So you get all the housework and the mental load too.

Nope. You need to make a life for yourself that you find fulfilling. With or without him that's up to you but I know which way I'd go. You're pretty much on your own in this relationship anyway.

It is fascinating - I think most of the replies are from people who are focused on the defence of an interest in sport.
If I'd posted that he spends 10 hours a day watching QVC I suspect it would have been different.
I do enjoy sport and have lots of interests myself. I guess my point is that surely being in a partnership might mean balancing time and interests? Appreciate your reply and insight.

OP posts:
Perfumefun · 09/06/2024 07:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Perfumefun · 09/06/2024 07:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

FrogsWormsandCaterpillars · 09/06/2024 07:11

Watching a film for a couple of hours is no different to watching sport, it’s just you deciding what you like to watch which is fine, just watch the film whilst your DH watches sport.
Honestly one of the things I love about my ex leaving is that I can now watch as much football as I want without his eye rolling and sighing. He would ask me to watch something with him, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend time with him we just had different opinions on what we enjoyed watching.

Gymnopedie · 08/06/2024 23:30

OP if your DH was out all day on both Saturday and Sunday playing golf or some other sport you'd be told YANBU. Because he's physically in the house for one of those days people are piling on as if it should be fine.

I disagree. He is just as unavailable when he's watching sport as he would be if he was playing. I'm guessing that as well as not sparing you a few hours of his valuable sport watching time he doesn't do anything in the house either. And that it's not just weekends but evenings too. So you get all the housework and the mental load too.

Nope. You need to make a life for yourself that you find fulfilling. With or without him that's up to you but I know which way I'd go. You're pretty much on your own in this relationship anyway.

LifeofBrienne · 08/06/2024 22:58

DH likes watching sport, but on a Friday or Saturday evening, unless it’s some vital event, he’ll usually check with me whether I’m happy with him sitting on the sofa and watching sport, or if I’d like to do something together.
Give and take, no?

DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 08/06/2024 22:54

Eeeden · 08/06/2024 22:51

I do like watching a film with my DH unlike all these independent PPs who don't need their DHs sitting beside them. I don't think it is too much to ask OP.

Me too but I don't think that's even really the issue here. PP are focusing on the watching a film bit and not on the fact that he's done nothing else all day and they're not spending any time doing anything together, all day.

Eeeden · 08/06/2024 22:51

I do like watching a film with my DH unlike all these independent PPs who don't need their DHs sitting beside them. I don't think it is too much to ask OP.

Original poster
emsworth · 08/06/2024 22:50

OhHelloMiss · 08/06/2024 22:34

Well you can't force him to want to watch some film!

Once the season is over he may want to watch films, who knows

Show quote history

It's not about a film!! It's maybe not spending 20hours every weekend watching sport...crazy, apparently, to maybe carve out some time for something other than sport.
Don't think it's a completely radical notion.

OP posts:
sixthvestibule · 08/06/2024 22:36

I couldn’t live like that. Vacuous shite.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/06/2024 22:36

BobnLen · 08/06/2024 22:21

We watch separate tellys, I have the one downstairs and DH watches sports upstairs, I don't need him next to me to watch a film or series. I see DH plenty anyway

It doesn't sound like OP does.

OP do you both do things together that don't involve screens? Watching a film after watching hours of sport, he'll end up with square eyes!

OhHelloMiss · 08/06/2024 22:34

emsworth · 08/06/2024 22:16

But we don't both want - isn't that the point?

Well you can't force him to want to watch some film!

Once the season is over he may want to watch films, who knows