Would you trust someone who had previously had a restraining order?

I'd be curious how she found out. Apologies if you mentioned that. Because her getting pregnant in three months (the man has two other children, he knows how babies are made) and then him telling her very much sounds like trapping her them 'warning' her to be well-behaved.

I've known too many men who tell women about their pasts to scare them and warn them. It's a threat.

If she got pregnant and she just found out, and he'd had a serious conversation about it, including all the reasons it wouldn't happen again, that would be almost a small bit reassuring. But not very.

Can I ask what difference that makes @JustCleaningtheBBQ?

No way

No.

Not a chance

Yeah sure. Assuming I'd had a lobotomy.

Does she have any other children?

*lasts

Absolutely not.

No never.

I had a restraining order years ago against my ex and father to my children.
He was violent and abusive. I don't have contact with him anymore neither do my kids (their choice) but from what I've heard on the grapevine he never changed and has served prison sentences for violence so no in my experience they don't change.

Right now they are in this happy bubble as it's all happened so quick but my concern is when the baby arrives and the stress and tiredness kicks in

If he karts that long. A lot of DV starts during PG.

He's just managed to get away without prosecution with every other woman in the last 14 years. Mixture of fear/his threatening suicide/you made me do it/you like sex like that, nobody's going to believe you, you're mental/etc, usually.

No.

I think your friend is very very foolish.

No. I found out he still has a restraining order. Has kids by multiple women and no fixed abode. Leaps from job to job, regularly swaps phone numbers and social media accounts... they don't change

My niece applied for non molestation order against her ex boyfriend. He made her life miserable , he grabbed her in the street , spread false rumours to her colleagues , hung around near her house and work constantly and stalked her on sm. The order was refused. She was a shell of a person for 2 years due to this behaviour he exhibited due to hurt feelings over being dumped (boohoo).

So no , I would not want my friend or family near anybody that did enough to actually grant one of these orders.

No.

I can completely understand that someone might have been using alcohol/drugs at the time or had some undiagnosed mental health issues and has now managed to get their life back on track. But I still would never take the risk of having them in my life.

Simply because I had some abusive people in my life and had to break that pattern of trusting the wrong people/letting them take advantage of me so now I have a blanket policy of cutting off anyone at the first sign of a red flag.

Also so many crimes (domestic violence, rape..) against women never make it to court/have ridiculously low conviction rates, so the fact that someone was not convicted of anything does not mean they are not a danger to women and girls.

Absolutely never trust him. Might be. 'Fun guy' in the pub. Might be good at his job. But 'trust' nope. If a friend is dating him please encourage a Clare's law.

She needs a Clare's Law disclosure.

I'd encourage her to apply herself but you can do it on her behalf. The police will then contact her to see if she's willing to have one.

I'm sure if there is a restraining order on him that wasn't his first rodeo.

No but 100% of could say no but you are not dating them so what could you actually do about it?

How many women are warned by friends and family about the person they are with and how many actually listen?

Absolutely not. I worry that some women do not take their own safety seriously enough. I personally don't think there is any man out there who is worth risking your health and possibly life for. There are many decent men out there without a violent past.

No. I was in a relationship with a nice guy who told me he had to hit his ‘crazy ex’ in self defence when she was out of control.
i have no idea what the truth of that situation was but I couldn’t look at him the same afterwards and ended the relationship pretty sharpish.
he said I was over reacting.
another friend recently discovered her boyfriend had a previous restraining order and ended the relationship too

No.

He broke into hia ex's house and strangled her? Christ on a bike. I'd suggest a Clare's Law request.