To not want to socialise with my work colleagues?

Just tell them you keep work and private life separate, including them.

I find the I never go out people also don't tend to have many friends and as they get older and the kids leave home and DH dies/leaves they are the most lonely. Sad but true.

I find the I always go out people just tend to gossip about Sandra from logistics affair with Dave from IT and moan endlessly about work because they don't have much of a life outside of it. Sad but true.

See I can do ridiculous generalisations too.

That said I do go to a couple of the things as it is good to see them out of work. Even when I worked just mornings when dd was small I’d go to the socials which were on afternoon/ evening

I work part time and find I can be isolated on my team-it’s not deliberate on their part, I’m not there for a third of their working week, and whilst it’s the last thing I want to do, I try to make an effort to go out with them a couple of times a year….it does help that it”s not billed as team building bollocks, just going out for the hell of it

Having a lemonade and spending an hour with them a couple of times a year is not a big deal and will help you build relationships.

As a previous poster mentioned, it's really key as you are part time.

I met one of my best friends at work but we don’t work together and we would have been friends otherwise. We just happened to meet at work. Another lady I was friends with left due to ill health and I never see her anymore but we are in touch. Another person I was going to be friends with double crossed me.

I've worked in many different jobs I now have a lovey collection of friends from over the years from those jobs. Going to work with friends is 100% better than just colleagues. Obviously not all my colleagues are friends but lots of my long term friends have been colleagues.
Why don't you organise some nights out or activities around stuff you like? Playing pool, axe throwing, watching the ballet , film, opera, book club, darts, bowling, eating in Thai/Indian/Polish restaurants, hiking, biking, art gallery, pottery class whatever it might be. Then you've made an effort and you might find your people.
I find the I never go out people also don't tend to have many friends and as they get older and the kids leave home and DH dies/leaves they are the most lonely. Sad but true.

I don't socialise with my work colleagues at all. I've got plenty of friends and I don't want or need more, and all the social interaction I need from my colleagues is done during the work day when I'm being paid for it. They're nice enough people, they're just not my people. It's not primary school, I no longer need to form friendships with people based only on proximity.

I get on fine with all of them and our professional relationships are good, I'd stop and chat if I spotted one in Tesco and I'm happy to sit and eat lunch of have coffee with any of them. I'm not mean or rude - but I've made it clear we're not friends and I don't want to be - they've accepted that. I think sometimes you just have to be blunt and up front with people rather than beating around the bush with excuses every time they ask you to go out.

I don't socialise with my work colleagues either, I did but not anymore. So I don't think YABU. We are all free to choose who we spend our time with.

I've seen what their "outings" entail and as a grown adult I'm not interested!! It mainly involves slating the office and managers! I'm not that type of person!

There are 5 people out of the 50 that work in my office who socialise regularly the rest of us don't, so it's not unusual! Their cliquey behaviour is more unusual where I work than our let's keep work and home life separate attitudes!

I like some of my work colleagues and not keen on others. I dont want to socialise with them though
I work with them for 8 hours 4 days a week and have no desire to spend any more time with them outside of work.

Please yourself. Eventually you won't be invited to anything which is of course fine if that's what you want.

I used to give lame reasons for not going to work socials. After a couple of years I just used to say bluntly that I am an antisocial old moo, and preferred the sofa and Netflix. Oddly, everyone accepts this without judgement or query. And I have never felt like the work pariah.

I would go if I'm available (but there have usually been discussions about which evenings are best for people,) and if it's something I'm interested in. I wouldn’t go to watch football, don't want to go karting. Not keen on bowling, but I'll go. Meal out, fine. I don't drink, but I'll have a Coke, though I usually move to water after a couple. If it bothers anyone, tough on them.

But it can be useful as a way to get to know people, and I usually like the people I work with - even the few exceptions, if you're in a group, you can usually avoid speaking to them individually.

I'm sure if you had pushed it you could have claimed some form of indirect discrimination or harassment.

As for the football watching the OP mentions, I can think of a number of reasons not to go. Wales haven't qualified is one, nor have several other countries that people have heritage from, for starters.

It used to be put in my annual appraisal that I didn't value the team because I refused to spend time with them; and my goal for the next year was to socialise more. We had the same discussion every year. Nope.

Fine not to go, providing you decline politely and don't back out last minute.

I have worked in social places with two that were the majority of my entire career being very sociable plus in those places dinners and drinks were often free. I’m still friends with people though I haven’t worked with one of them since 1994 and some since 1999 and 2013.

Just go along occasionally, apart from anything else tongues loosen and you can learn a lot.

I wouldn't go to the football but I'd be okay going to the pub once in a while. I've never had any pressure to drink when there, and don't go very often. I'm quite open that I have caring responsibilities though, and once in a while, I suggest lunch in a cafe so we can chat then. That's a nice balance. Not everyone comes to lunch each time, we just order our own food and pay independently.

I go to some of them as the night they all like to have a works night out is a night I have a long term commitment.

You’re paid to work with them, not socialise with them. Your time, you do what you want.

If you keep saying no enough times they will eventually stop asking in my experience.

This
You don’t have to go to every gathering but I do think going for an hour and a lemonade every few months is not that big a deal.
In my job being a close knit team is extremely beneficial. It is a huge part of why we’re good at what we do. People who have come along and made zero effort to join the (rare) socialising opportunities have often struggled. Shared experiences are important in my opinion.
Allowances are always made for family situations and we are very careful to ensure what we do is never expensive. It does feel that those who never come don’t value our team in the same way.

Absolutely fine to not want to go out with them.

I used to go out with work colleagues when I was young but later on I stopped and they got used to my refusal whenever I was asked.
It is not compulsory and don't be forced into doing it, they are your colleagues and not friends/family (they can be friends if you want but that is your choice).

Asking for tap water is a bit off . One soft drink and make it last ? They are clearly making an effort to include you which I think is nice and always saying no is very unfriendly and knobbish .a couple of ££ and an hour of your time isn't that much of a commitment surely?

I’m the same. We don’t have that many events. I have agreed to go to one in a couple of weeks but it’s right near where I live and should be done and home by 9pm. I go to the Xmas party and any in work time stuff but that’s it. I’ve had some issues with one of my colleagues recently so I don’t want to socialise with her but she isn’t going anyway. I don’t drink either.