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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how your partner helps if you’re unwell?

83 replies

mrsfox0 · 08/06/2024 15:51

I’m really poorly at the moment with flu. V bad cough, aching all over and so so tired. We have small DCs who are very clingy to me. I need some time to sleep in bed but my partner won’t take them out, or help me in any way. Doesn’t offer me a honey and lemon, and if I ask takes an hour to get it or takes so long he forgets. He even asked me to get him a drink earlier which I couldn’t believe. I had to make breakfast and lunch for DCs today as he had a lay in and wouldn’t get up as he stayed up late last night, even though I asked him not to stay up too late as I needed him to have the children today.

I just wondered if I’m expecting too much, I wanted him to take them out for a few hours so I could just rest, and I’ve had none today. If I say anything he gets annoyed at me and it just goes nowhere.

our children are very very mummy and I’m wondering if that’s why he’s like this. But he could at least take them out and then they’d be fine and wouldn’t want to come to me all day.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 08/06/2024 16:02

our children are very very mummy and I’m wondering if that’s why he’s like this.

More likely they’re like that because he’s the way he is.

Merryoldgoat · 08/06/2024 16:00

Like your DH @DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole mine is full partner at all times anyway - cooking/housework/school runs etc.

Deadringer · 08/06/2024 16:00

He is a lazy selfish piece of shit.

Noopneep · 08/06/2024 15:59

I have a disability so maybe it's different but my partner takes over everything depending on how unwell I am. Right now I have a nasty viral infection. He would do everything regarding cleaning, cooking and looking after DS. No way would he have a lie in and ask me to make him a drink.

Sorry OP, your DP sounds like a pig. Hope you feel better soon.

Merryoldgoat · 08/06/2024 15:58

DH would send me to bed and that would be that - kids looked after and fed etc.

He’d make me home made chicken noodle soup too and bring meds/drinks etc.

I’d do the same when reversed.

mrsfox0 · 08/06/2024 15:58

DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 08/06/2024 15:54

When I had the flu in January my DH took over everything, and waited on me. Did all school runs, all activities, all household tasks along with bringing me meds, food and drinks as needed. He did it fully for over two weeks without complaint until I was well enough to start to do stuff again .

He did it because he loves me and wanted me to fully rest and get better. He could do it because he's a 50/50 partner all the time, so knows what's required without asking.

Oh wow that’s so so lovely :)

OP posts:
DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 08/06/2024 15:55

Should also add that when he hurt his knee and couldn't walk, I picked up everything so he could heal. It works both ways.

DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 08/06/2024 15:54

When I had the flu in January my DH took over everything, and waited on me. Did all school runs, all activities, all household tasks along with bringing me meds, food and drinks as needed. He did it fully for over two weeks without complaint until I was well enough to start to do stuff again .

He did it because he loves me and wanted me to fully rest and get better. He could do it because he's a 50/50 partner all the time, so knows what's required without asking.