Is DD babyish? What can your DD9 do?

Agree. My nine year old loves her teddies, crafting/painting, Lego, imaginary play & dolls/sylvanians etc. She enjoys the park, doing silly dances and cubs. Plenty of her friends do as well. She’s a child. Those are all perfectly normal activities for a child that I would imagine are significantly better for their development than make up, computer games or mobile phones (for example).

If you want to broaden her interests let her help out a bit with cooking, encourage her to try some other sports (swimming, climbing, team stuff like football or rugby?), maybe try a drama club or take her to watch some shows etc. If my daughter’s friends were seriously getting into makeup/hair/social media already then I’d be quietly encouraging her to spend more time with her less adult aping but possibly more mature in reality friends from cubs (or brownies in your case)

Could you maybe enroll her in a drama class or similar? She might find some like minded girls and make friends outside of school. Could be a social confidence boost?

This!

My 9 year old DD sounds similar. I work in a school and I have no concerns that she is any different from her peers. They’ve got the rest of their lives for ‘more mature interests’

Her interests are completely fine. My dd played with Barbie's until around 10.5, more so when her younger cousin came round. However you could try giving her more responsibility. Little jobs that are achievable- washing herself, sorting her washing, tidying up etc. it will help to increase her confidences and resilience.

What is she doing on TikTok at the age of 9? The minium age is 13. For a reason.

9 year olds should be playing with toys and not thinking about anything more mature yet. You are an adult for a long time in this life and a child for such a short time. Let her be young and innocent for as long as she can be!

It saddens me when friends tell me their 8 year olds want makeup and smellies for christmas. I was still asking for toys until I was a teenager!

She sounds lovely OP I don't think you have anything to worry about, I def was playing with toys at 9 not doing make up etc!

My DDs are now 23 and 20 and they still have their favourite dolls (Tiny Tears, Baby Annabel, Baby Chouchou) in boxes in the attic. They got rid of all the accessories and some of the clothes but they still have their dolls.

My observation is that a lot of the make-up being worn by young girls comes from the expectations of dance and cheerleading competitions and displays. These events are no longer only about the dancing and cheerleading abilities of the girls but they are being judged on their appearance too. I have a friend whose DDs are involved in cheer; she recently posted a photo on Facebook of her reception age child spending her pocketmoney on lipstick.
Other friends have 8 and 9 year olds who are talented dancers and having been wearing makeup since they were 6 or 7. They are very pretty girls who don't need makeup.

This made me smile. 9 yrs old was when my kids would be taught evening tea and toast duty because that's the age my Mum did with us 😄

DD is just about to turn 9 and she likes Barbie, Sylvanian Families, Hatchimals and I hear her playtime play games either alone or with teddies or her little brother.

She likes scooting and skating but can’t ride a bike. She likes playing in the park, reading and watching films or gaming.

She does the odd bit of hair or make up but it’s just a bit of dressing up rather than serious.

Her friends seem pretty similar from what I can tell. I like that they still play with toys at 9.

Is she involved with the brownies - if not think about enrolling her as they teach girls how to become slightly more independent and some life skills and new friendship groups

OP - I found your post is very negative. How about what you daughter's strengths?

Childhood is so fleeting it should be cherished rather than binned off for YouTube and tik tok trends as soon as possible.

Anyway what is a mature interest? Bowls? Cribbage?

And just generally in response to a few PP, the age limit for whatsapp in the UK is 13 for so many good reasons. Check out the smart phone free childhood movement if this is something that interests you.

Don't forget that the point of playing with dollies etc is to work out social relationships. A teddy bear tea party is all about learning that big teddy was a bit of a shit to eat all the cakes and maybe that wasn't the right teddy etiquette.

So if she cries a lot then maybe do some role play with dollies about how she can react and cope with different situations with friends.

DD (10) does not have a phone yet because I saw the issues you describe on her class WhatsApp group. There appears to be a handful of Admins who make the rules and frequently remove kids from the chat and the drama then spills over into the classroom. Most recently DD’s Head of Year announced she had alerted the police over an extremely disturbing video a child posted in another class chat (DD’s year but different class) and urged parents to remove their children from these groups.

OP, your DD is a child and while she may be sensitive, cry easily etc her behaviour seems entirely age appropriate to me. Please do not be swayed by people telling you she needs to abandon normal past times such as playing with toys and dolls and jump on a fast track to adulthood. When did we start thinking it is normal for 9 and 10 years to have skin care routines. It’s really sad.

I think the toys and imagination are lovely but allowing her to cry so often won’t help her at school. Doing things for her, giving in and the big one, her not playing by herself, are all areas to work on.

Fucking this!!

The world has gone mad.

Sounds normal to me. But maybe teach her to do a few things for herself. My 9 year old has just learned how to make a cup of tea and absolutely loves making me a cup in the evening! Making some toast or something, mine likes being able to do things for herself. Playing with toys though, totally normal!

She is NINE!! Jesus! She shouldn't be bothered about skin care or make up or trying to be grown up. (hell I'm in my 40s and don't care about those things). She should be having fun playing with toys and playing outside, and generally enjoying being a CHILD- a relatively young child at that. She may need to find some like-minded children (aka normal children), or you may need to find some like-minded parents to help with this, if her friends are all progressing to the tween years already, which is sad for them, and nothing to try to emulate. Agree crying a lot may be a flag that she needs some help navigating what is going on there. If you honestly feel you "baby" her, and are holding her back, then that's also something to look at. But a 9 year old who likes playing with toys and playing in the playground....that sounds like what we should all be striving for, rather than 9 year olds putting making up on, doing Tik Tok vides and god knows what else.

I'm not sure if I agree with the 'kids grow up so fast these days'. I think its the contrary. Kids at 8 or 9 who are not allowed play out with their friends, not allowed go off on their bikes, not allowed go to the shops, not given weekly and daily chores, not able to organise their own meet ups with friends, not capable of entertaining themselves for a rainy afternoon without adult intervention. They are often raised to be dependent and weak minded, and lacking in confidence. Its no wonder really so many get obsessed with SM and following influencers etc.

Apologies OP it's slightly off topic, I've replied upthread about your DD.

I'd be most worried about the bike, I think it's a key skill. My DD9 has dyspraxia and took a long long time to learn but we practiced and practiced until she could do it as cycling opens up so many possibilities.

Playing (with any toy, there should be no hierarchy of barbies Vs teddies) should be encouraged. Tiktok should be discouraged.

I don't think there is anything wrong with her interests. I would be glad that she isn't interested in skincare and makeup at age 9: I say this as someone who was a huge beauty nerd and very into fashion, but even I didn't become interested until age 13/14 or so. I would be more concerned about her oversensitivity and crying very easily, that is maybe what is putting friends off her. I feel for her, though. 9 is just the age that girls become completely brutal, (far, far worse than most boys at that age) and that can go on into the mid teens or so.

The idea that a child of nine - nine!! - should develop more "mature interests" is bizarre and sad. She is definitely not the problem here. Let her play naturally and be a child, because that's what she is - a child.

She sounds fine and normal and not dissimilar to other year 4 kids in my dc’s class, there is one who is quite sensitive and according to dd cries every single day about something. Dd herself is quite sensitive but tends to hold it in more at school. There are constant friendship problems but that too is usual for year 4. There’s a range of maturity but I’m glad my dd still likes playing with toys. It won’t be for long!

Kids grow up FAR too fast now imo. Some friends and I were talking about this a while ago. This group we have been friends since starting school, now in our 40s and tall about how at age 11 we worked it out amongst ourselves who would ask for which Barbie thing for Xmas and then we could all share when we got together. We were also in Brownies then Guides. It absolutely didn't stunt our independence, we used to get trains and go shopping in the next city or go to gigs by ourselves by age 14.

My boys were different and I feel like they wanted to grow up too fast, but they've always been quite in keeping with their ages really. Girls are a different ball game though.

Skincare and make up is absolutely unnecessary at that age!

Doesn't sound like you're babying her, she just likes what she likes and sounds for normal for a 9 Yr old.

After reading an article about a little girl who's parents left her at home and then died in a car crash, and had to survive by herself for a week until someone realised, I aimed to make sure DD could do the same at age 8 (while also drilling into her how to call 999 and when was appropriate to do it!)

She could make simple meals (beans on toast, stuff from freezer, microwave ready meals etc), wash up, tidy up, knew how the heating and hot water worked, shower herself and basic hygiene, fire safety, how the washing machine worked etc.

By 9 she could have run a household by herself if she needed to (obviously she never did, she's now 16 and being left alone overnight for the first time next weekend)

But a 9 year old is capable of that, and should at least be helping with chores. Babying them does them no good at all.