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School prize giving

34 replies

Badassnameforadojo · 08/06/2024 11:55

I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable to be angry here, and don’t know what to say to the school.

My son is in first year in high school and has had a really tough year at school with bullying and being attacked. It didn’t stop until the police were involved. So, it really hasn’t been a good year. Despite that, he has had excellent results. He was the only kid in the whole year group to get 100% on the end of year maths test and again on the science test. He’s done so well all year.

During the whole bullying thing, which went on for several months, his head of year has been calling me a lot and always about another incident. A month ago he called and said he just wanted to make a call with some good news and to let me know that the whole year wasn’t bad because my son had earned some prizes in the end of year awards. He said he didn’t want to tell me what prizes he has, but the teacher’s for all subjects had submitted the names and he had checked the list and wanted me to know, to just have a nice phone call. Normally you wouldn’t be told until the letter go out to parent’s if their kids need to attend the assembly.

Well, the letters went out yesterday and he didn’t get one. I called the school as soon as he got him and told me, but his head of year had left already. The office lady was lovely and checked though the file with all the letters and he definitely wasn’t on the list so no prize.

I would never have called up to complain about the lack of prize normally; either you earn it or you don’t. You don’t call up and complain! But… his teacher used this as a cheer up method, to say well done etc. But he hasn’t been given anything so it’s like it’s been taken away.

They don’t advertise the prize giving. Kids only know if they get a letter about it, otherwise it isn’t talked about. My son probably wouldn’t have even noticed. It’s the fact that he was specifically told early, so was waiting for his letter and then… nothing.

I dont know what to say to his teacher. The letters have gone out so there isn’t a prize leftover for him, they can’t take it away from another kid and I can’t demand a made-up prize for him. But I’m so angry they’ve done this to an autistic kid who has been beaten up and bullied all year but still go 100% in every class test I’m every subject. His animation project in computing was the only one posted on Twitter because it was incredible and his computing teacher went on and on about how intricate and well done it was, especially for a first year. I just don’t understand and I’m so angry, and my son is so upset and feels let down again.

OP posts:
Badassnameforadojo · 08/06/2024 12:07

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/06/2024 12:05

Don’t make a formal complaint. Ask the questions, give them a chance to sort it out. If they’re being shit at dealing with bullying, a well deserved prize isn’t going to make up for that really.

It made a huge difference to my son. He felt worthless at school, and as stupid as it sounds, being told he and earned something felt like a step in the right direction for him. He was really pleased with himself given how many days he didn’t want to face school and went in anyway and worked so hard.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/06/2024 12:05

Don’t make a formal complaint. Ask the questions, give them a chance to sort it out. If they’re being shit at dealing with bullying, a well deserved prize isn’t going to make up for that really.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/06/2024 12:04

Don't be scared of complaining. You are complaining about him being told he'd won something, when apparently he hasn't, not because he didn't win. A mistake has been made somewhere.

Badassnameforadojo · 08/06/2024 12:04

I just want to know what happened. Did he make a mistake and mix him up with another kid? Or did my kid get some prizes but someone decided they should go to another kid. Because it’s not OK to get his hopes up and use this as a method of saying well done, you’ve managed this despite everything and then it isn’t even true!

He was sitting last night trying so hard to say it was all ok and he didn’t mind, but he was trying so hard not to cry and his voice kept cracking.

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Smartiepants79 · 08/06/2024 12:04

And I would never normally say that you complain or expect anything but they’ve really screwed up here.

SwingTheMonkey · 08/06/2024 12:03

I’d be absolutely furious. YANBU.

Smartiepants79 · 08/06/2024 12:03

Do you have any written proof of what he was promised?
You need to speak to his head of year and see what he’s got to say for himself. He has possibly made a very inexcusable mixup with another child.
Honestly, if you’re right and they admit it they need to make this right and give him a prize. You can surely have more than one ‘academic endeavour’ awards without it being a big deal.

Theonlyreasonwhyyoushouldbe · 08/06/2024 11:59

That’s awful. Really awful especially for an ASD kid (I have one too) as they have such a strong sense of justice/black and white thinking.

I would wait to Monday to speak to the Head of Year and submit a formal complaint as that’s just not on.

Badassnameforadojo · 08/06/2024 11:56

I’m sorry that’s so long. I guess I was venting.

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