Where can a good looking, educated 30 yo woman meet a man in London?

Maybe people are picking up on your arrogance.

Also Salary and looks aren’t everything OP. My mums friend married for money, admitted it so- 10 years later he went bankrupt and left them with nothing.

Again, looks fade. You have to stop being so shallow if you want to meet someone kind, lovely, personable, funny- that’s what matters and will make a marriage last.

I actually think you need to be a bit more modest. It’s fine to describe yourself as beautiful etc, and list your qualifications but maybe you need to lower your standards slightly? Be a bit more modest?

I say this coming from another 30 year old successful woman, nobody ever matched the “ideals” in my head but I started to be open to a lot more and I met someone who is perfect for me!

I was coming on to say Spoons too!

I’m kind of disturbed by how many mumsnetters are demeaning me for having very normal standards for a professional woman.

Standards are great! Ruling out people who earn less than £70k - not great. You're seeing salary as an indication of someone's professionalism and career ambition. It isn't. You're ruling out teachers, lecturers, civil servants, scientists, barristers and probably many other very worthy professions.

With regard posters calling you desperate, frankly, I if were you, I would be desperate. If you want kids, at 30, I don't think I'd want to hang around. Even if you met someone today, taking things at a wise pace, you'd be 35 before you tried to get pregnant.
Are there not honest dating sites/singles nights you can go to were everyone is completely, cards on the table, straight away? Where you can just straight out say, i want marriage, i want kids and I want it soon with a high earning partner who wants the same as me? Does that not exist?

No, but you can take time and work it out rather than rushing in. There are always signs.

When DH and I were still friends, no romance at all, I had had a bad day and went to our hobby group.

He called me that night because I seemed low and he wanted to check I was ok. I was caught off guard and told him the sorry mess. He was empathetic, kind, patient, and discreet. I knew from that day he was genuinely kind and caring.

Nearly 20 years on and he’s the same kind character through and through.

I'm not demeaning you OP I agree with you.

Some of us are selective about who we allow to impregnate us and there's nothing wrong with that.

Good luck in your search

'
100% not giving off desperation. I do not mention kids beyond “yeah, that’s something I’d like to experience at some point”. Most guys say similar. '

@Rehne well you're giving off something.. you call yourself beautiful, and have an 'okay nothing spectacular' career. But you want the guy to earn well, be tall, want kids, etc etc. what about what you bring to the table. Apart from being borderline boastful (which may be putting them off), you write as if you're better than others a little bit.

I can't put my finger on it. It's all a little bit cringe really.

Just go with the flow, start new hobbies and up your social life. Head out with friends. Meet friends of friends.

If you're really hung up on salary, try the 'elite singles' it's a dating app for high earners. I can't imagine it being very nice on there though.

You’ve said twice in your opening poast that you want kids and it’s quite clear you’re going for wealthy men.

Wealthy men are used to being a target.

Plus you’re 30 with no kids and that’s a danger zone for men. They know, whether you say so or not, they’re at risk of an “oops” pregnancy.

Could you do something like a part-time Masters - could be good career wise and the part-time options generally attract a slightly older crowd (so not just people straight out of uni) and people who want to further themselves.

Other than that - I agree with just getting out there with hobbies/ interests/ meeting friends of friends. Yes, you could meet someone who doesn't earn as much as you and turns out not to be right because of that, but is that any worse than meeting someone who ticks the right financial boxes, but turns out not to be right for you on a different level?

And you may meet someone and find you just don't care! Or that they have potential - life isn't necessarily linear.

Not RTWT, but have you considered joining something like Spice Social? Lots of social activities arranged to help people meet. Its not a singles club as such, but 80% of their members are single.

Everyone saying "look for a kind man"

But you can't search for that. Everyone thinks they are nice. On say plenty of fish there are thousands of people searching in
London so you need sone criteria to filter people to meet

I am not sure salary is a criteria probably its education level?

Honestly the men have probably smelled this a mile off. You want to be a mum and they’re just going to be a sperm donor / financial supporter in the process.

You’re not looking for a man, you’re looking for what one can give you. Children, and money.

I hope that one of the suggestions works for you. And pleased to read that you have standards. Good luck.

Have a kid on your own. You don't need a man!

No, "posh" is not the word that springs to mind...

I also find it amusing when well paid women say they would date someone who earns less than them. Do you ever hear men saying that?

Honestly it sounds like you need to ‘work on yourself’ first, if you are feeling sad. Don’t rely on a partner to fix you. If you are really struggling emotionally I’d look at some counselling, otherwise, build a life you are really happy with. It sounds like you had very high expectations work wise, perhaps adjust these. And find what genuinely makes you happy, and perhaps you’ll meet someone that way. Don’t fixate on their job or salary.