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Original poster

Where can a good looking, educated 30 yo woman meet a man in London?

269 replies

Rehne · 08/06/2024 10:48

I turned 30 last month and it was quite possibly one of the top 10 saddest days of my life. Probably broke down in tears 3/4 times just due to dissatisfaction with where I am in life.

So I have a lot going for me. Objectively considered beautiful, went to top university and in decent enough shape. Got onto a Times 100 grad screme and have a decently enough paid job.

My university boyfriend and I broke up during Covid and I’ve been struggling to convert dates into relationships.

I’m dating supposedly grown up, successful men in their 30s but have not come across on viable option.

In the past year I’ve been on dates with 2 doctors, a guy from JP Morgan and someone who owned their own business. And I’ve had unsolicited dick pics, love bombing…you name it.

It may sound like I’m going after a certain type but I’m just interested in someone who has their head screwed on re finances. As I would like to be a mum.

Where can I meet guys in London? I’m really over the apps. So many weird men in the world.

My career is fine but it hasn’t exactly exploded the way I had intended. And my love life is dead. I’m 30 (want to be a mum). And just really scared.

I can go to a pub/bar no problem and get approached but nothing ever comes of it - well other than dick pics it seems.

I think my personality is nice enough - I’m considerate, kind and easy going. Do not let it known how “desperate” I really am.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 08/06/2024 11:12

I agree about a friend of a friend; I assume a lot of your friends move in similar social circles so you're more likely to find someone who meets your criteria

Needmorelego · 08/06/2024 11:12

Go on meetup.com and find a social group you enjoy and meet people that way.

OdeToBarney · 08/06/2024 11:11

Agree with PP that finance dudes are the worst. And lawyers (I am one). I don't mix with doctors, but the only one I ever met on a night out was hitting on me despite knowing I was married. Can you try to meet someone more organically through hobbies?

HaPPy8 · 08/06/2024 11:10

You do seem to massively be reducing your options but going for a certain type.

Mamette · 08/06/2024 11:10

Friend of a friend, is the tried and trusted thing.

Ramp up your social life as much as possible. Do not focus on men, just be out in the world.

You are so young! Please chill a bit.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/06/2024 11:09

Also have a phone call before meeting anyone on an app

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/06/2024 11:09

You have another ten years plus probably to be a mum. Freeze your eggs now if you can afford it that's what I did. I also rushed into having a baby with someone who wasn't right and look at my user name. If I was in your position I would be doing golf and tennis and rowinglessons and joining a club and making friends with people there.

Itllfalloff · 08/06/2024 11:08

I met DP in a work trip abroad, both of us from 2 countries other than the one we met in. Before that I went out with a friend of a friend, before that someone from a hobby we shared, before that someone I picked up in a pub on a night out… relax a bit… you never know where you might met someone new.

usernother · 08/06/2024 11:07

You seem very fixated on what potential partners do and what they have.

MaryMaryVeryContrary · 08/06/2024 11:07

Spinet · 08/06/2024 10:56

Stop thinking of yourself as a product and of other people as products. If you are looking for a human connection, a shopping list will not do it. I'm not denying what makes people attractive but it cannot be the headline. You need to focus on the connection first.

What do you enjoy doing? Do you have hobbies? Singing? Sailing? Something else? Work on making yourself happy and being in the places that people you might like will be and you will naturally attract people to you. You are still young, don't panic.

Agree with this. You seem unduly focussed on a tick list of ‘handsome, rich, charismatic, but also great dad/husband potential’. V few men stack up to this, and the ones that do are usually snapped up by their mid/late 20s.

Itllfalloff · 08/06/2024 11:06

You’re putting too much pressure on yourself to be ‘successful’ and to find someone equally ‘successful’
… many people find a partner through things they have in common, like work or hobbies.
maybe just chill a bit, and as for going out with someone from JP Morgan, Bleurgh.
Finance dudes are THE worst.

Crokepark · 08/06/2024 11:05

Walk around yachts looking confused, like you need directions. Or some other place where poshos hang out.

Seeline · 08/06/2024 11:04

I agree with PP.

What are your interests and hobbies?
Those are the things that lead you to make a real connection with someone, not if they went to uni or earn a lot.

The live of your life could end up being a carpenter, or postman or lifeguard!

Crokepark · 08/06/2024 11:04

Itllfalloff · 08/06/2024 11:03

Have you tried ‘Spoons?

😂

Itllfalloff · 08/06/2024 11:03

Have you tried ‘Spoons?

Uncooperativefingers · 08/06/2024 11:00

London dating is brutal. There are just so many people.

Are you dating similar to your age? This is a massive generalisation, but I find that my friends in London seem to keep hold of the quasi-student, no responsibility lifestyle for way longer than those living elsewhere. I think it's due to having to house share etc. I can't think of any of my London male friends who would be ready to settle down and have a baby, and they are all mid-30s.

Mirandasbiggestfan · 08/06/2024 10:59

Aren’t there quite a few singles events in London these days allowing you to meet in real life? I’ve seen posters on the tube! I think more & more people are becoming disillusioned with the apps. I also went to a singles night at Curzon cinema years ago which was quite good.

Spinet · 08/06/2024 10:56

Stop thinking of yourself as a product and of other people as products. If you are looking for a human connection, a shopping list will not do it. I'm not denying what makes people attractive but it cannot be the headline. You need to focus on the connection first.

What do you enjoy doing? Do you have hobbies? Singing? Sailing? Something else? Work on making yourself happy and being in the places that people you might like will be and you will naturally attract people to you. You are still young, don't panic.

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/06/2024 10:50

Could an old school introduction agency for professionals help you?