Where can a good looking, educated 30 yo woman meet a man in London?

I'd also say- the very last people I'd be deliberately going for are doctors and finance guys. Doctors I love, but their working hours are often crazy and they can be quite arrogant. Finance guys, just not my type, motivated by....finance. Now, if I met either a doctor or a City guy and got on so well with them, there was a spark, they were interesting and interested, I'd give it a whirl. These would not be my chosen professions to go for though, as life partners, I have quite a few friends with doctors/City partners, they're mostly ok, but just wouldn't be for me.

My friend was the opposite and said she wanted to meet a rich City guy, she did and married him, all great! She did not want children and it suited her to have a two income high status lifestyle. Knowing what you really want is very important.

I think it's great to have a long term plan and you clearly have. I would stop focussing on it for a bit.

Spend some time developing your current self, having fun, meeting people because they're interesting not because they might fulfill a long term plan.

Cast your net very wide, because having a variety of fun interactions (I don't mean sex) brings richness to your life and makes it more interesting and you more interesting. This is your life not a path of success and it's very easy to forget that, I think. There are no rules about who you can and cannot associate with, especially when you're independent like you are.

Do some volunteering. Travel to places you haven't thought of. Go to exhibitions, go on group holidays, join a tennis club, take some pottery lessons. It's easy to get stuck in a rut but you really are very young and worrying about the clock ticking won't make it tick slower. Harvesting the joy from every minute might though.

Which is good. When you have high (or even good enough) standards there are less men available to date

Agree with PP that it's not helpful to think of yourself, or others, as a product. Plus it's London - SO many people will have gone to a top university and will have gotten onto a decent grad scheme. Everyone's fitness-obsessed and beautiful people are everywhere. None of these will really make you stand out that much anyway (and they shouldn't). None of them will set your "product" apart.

I say this with empathy as I used to think this way. When I met my DP five years ago (getting married this summer) he wasn't the "type" I'd usually go for and all of my "qualifications" meant nothing to him, but we ended up being an amazing amazing match. I remember telling a friend early on in the relationship "I'm just worried because he doesn't have xyz" - turned out to be SO unimportant and actually the root of some of his best qualities... we met on tinder fwiw!

I had a thing for finance bros/doctors/solicitors for a while in my late 20s early 30s. It was.....disheartening! It didn't work out with any of them and after a while it was easy to see at the very beginning (within a few messages) who was likely to send an unsolicited dick pic.

Would you think of doing tag rugby? Salsa dancing? Any other activity that has a mix of men and women?

I agree with pp saying that it is important to look for connection rather than a list of requirements. Nobody is suggesting you get involved with someone you don't find attractive but you may disregard a potential wonderful partner if you keep your net too narrow.

Sooo... you're after the 5%. Head screwed on, financially successful and responsible, no doubt attractive, tall, probably good in bed... then all the other 'must haves' like wanting to marry and have kids, same age, not a dick?

Sorry, you're in competition with EVERY woman out there!

I (personally) think you're making a mistake women often make... and that's marketing yourself based off your own standards and what you believe men want, rather than what they actually want. Basically like all those gym bros out there who steroid-up, pimp up their car, and send dick pics because they genuinely believe that's what women are attracted to, because they like looks, they like fast cars, and they like naked pics from girls.

"Objectively considered beautiful, went to top university and in decent enough shape. Got onto a Times 100 grad scheme and have a decently enough paid job." - That's not what men are looking for, I'm sorry. You'll never hear a man say "I want a Russell Group girl."

Do you have any 'classic' male red flags? Are you hard work? Do you take a long time to get ready? Does a large proportion of your money go on clothes/ accessories? Are you in contact with exes? Do you have an Instagram profile? It does sound like you are actively looking for money, and that you really do want to settle down... guys can spot this a mile away, and these are pretty big red flags.

What hobbies and interests do you have?

Yep same for my friends.

Also you need to put some criteria when online dating as eise you'd be going on dates every day with unsuitable people. It's different if you net say speed dating and fancy each other but for cold blind dates you need sone filtering.

The more important thing is their attitude to finances. If you meet someone who wants a family, be clear they do not see any children as your expense. I cannot believe the amount of women on MN who fund maternity leave using their own savings. You need to be on same page that whilst you are unable to work you will live on their income. These are important conversations pre marriage really

I understand why you are saying you want to meet someone financially secure and similar in career- but the most important thing of all is that they are a decent kind person, a good partner, considerate, thoughtful, has good friends and so on. None of this is guaranteed by money, although I wouldn't date someone financially very disparate. I don't think you should focus on what they do, but who they are- so any signs of being anything less than completely into you, and a great date, just bin them, as you are wasting time you could be spending with the right person.

Read 'He's just not that into you' for starters, one of my lovely friends was dating in London and there are so many timewasters or booty callers, but she used to indulge them and wonder if they might be the right person- NO! This will help you stop wasting time with no-hopers.

I met my husband through a dating agency but a long time ago, might this be an option? At least people who use them are into the idea of a relationship more definitely (although I still found some happy to outsource it all to the agency or get their leg over anyway).

Also know that it's not you, it's hard to find the right person, at your age I also felt a bit despairing at times, as I also attracted lots of men but not quite the ones I wanted, and didn't have any long term prospects at all- til I met my husband age around 31. There's lots of people on mumsnet who met in mid-thirties upwards. Don't panic, keep cool, keep your own standards, enjoy your life anyway. You may have to do more filtering of people, not less, if you are good-looking, as more people are attracted to you who are not suitable. It will happen.

You can be good with finances in a job that doesn’t pay as well. You can work in finance and piss it all away and not want to settled done. You could be an experienced social worker and have it all figured out. A high paying job is for you. I agree it’s all far too transactional. You want a guy who’s your best friend.

Sorry I assumed SAHM, not that I have issue with that as I was one for a few years

In terms of kids being expensive, they really don't need to be until they get to University. I will have 3 at Uni from Sept and that will be challenging.
When they are little you can get most things second hand for pennies. This is also good for environment.
They do not have to do every club going. I lived in village with no car whilst DH at work. If the club was not local they did not go. After school was fine and Beavers, Sunday school, youth club etc.
My DH was not a high earner and I only worked one day pw when kids were little but we got by. Holidays were stayed with friends and family and bought second hand trailor tent which we restored and used for a few years. It can be more rewarding to have to save up for each thing you need and really feel a sense of achievement to get it. Kids need love and security and food.

My dh was earning £15k a year when I met him (to be fair, it was 25 years ago and we were very young) - he now earns many, many times that figure. You can't just stipulate things that make someone suitable - look for a connection and, honestly, friendship as your first priority. There is no point finding someone who ticks superficial boxes but ending up divorced because you'd prioritised that over a real connection with someone.

Start doing things with your friends for fun. I met DH on a skiing holiday - I was with my friends, he was with his, we met at the hotel registration and then kept meeting at lunch on the slopes. I was 27 - this was 27 years ago, so in terms of age, I was similar to you. The difference was, I had resigned myself to being single after 9 years of really awful relationship experiences!

Try going on an active holiday like skiing; hiking, cycling - surfing; whatever you are into. You will meet a wider group of eligible men,

Good luck.

Meeting someone wealthy is not a guarantee of being able to be SAHM. A wealthy man might not want to be attractive for that reason. He may have such a strong work ethic that he wants you also to work. He may work sick long hours that you never see him.
They might be a builder who is able to do all your DIY, and flip houses to make money etc.
There might be a vicar who comes with a large vicarage!
There might be someone on a low income like in museums, art, NHS, teaching but they might already own a home or live somewhere less expensive.
I think you need to have less of an ideal and just try and make connections. Take more risks. I met my husband on line. I would not have looked twice at his profile picture. As I got to know him, on paper he was from v very wealthy family and would seem a good catch but family were also incredibly dysfunctional and because he chose to marry me against their wishes( as our family had nothing to offer theirs!!!) they disinherited him. We have made our own way on life without their control.

I know lots of married or marrying Londoners. They all met them through their places of worship. Do you have a faith?

I did the apps when I was mis30s and as a professional I tended to date other professionals mostly. I am not sure more manual worker makes want to date female accountants or lawyers either.

So just many many dates (well beers after work). I didn't want kids so that was easier.

Met someone who as an it professional but no degree (I'd put a degree on criteria) and that's fine. Been together 14 years. But it's just luck really.

I hear you, I was the same. I met my first husband through work, inthe City. But we were 28. I had pretty much given up

Sports clubs? Two benefits: getting fit, meeting people.

2nd husband, met through Tinder. Again meeting the right criteria but this tiomein our late 40s. He was on it for 2 hours. I had been on it for nearly three years...

It is slim pickings. I would aslo recommend freezing your eggs now, you will feel more in control.

Also, can you move company to get your career restarted?

I’m highly aware of the fact that I would like someone who is financially secure as children are so expensive.

Kids are as expensive as you make them.
Lots of poor people have kids you know!