Looking after neighbours cat

Just say you can't op and sort out your own arrangements for your cat.

For all those sating it's only five minutes, it isn't. You also have to schlep your child(ren) with you, keep an eye on them when there, lock yours, lock theirs and if the cat's gets ill you'll be lumbered with vet visits too.

I sympathise. When mine were littlest (and I wasn't working) a neighbour asked me to water her window boxes, tiny bed at the front. It was an absolute Ball ache when the littlest were fractious and tired. Never again.

No, I do understand all that and I get it's absolutely shit, I really do.

But from their viewpoint, they asked you to look after their cats, you agreed, and now every time they come to give you a key, there's some kind of issue that means you can't or don't want to do it anymore.

You need to stop agreeing to do it - it's clearly too much for you and you're not really getting anything out of it. Arrange for a cat-sitter for your August holiday and when they get back, just tell them you won't be able to look after their cats anymore.

Also, if they ask prior to August just say you are actually away that week too. Sorry you can't. Cut the convo short.

If it’s a 5 minute job then I’d just keep doing it especially seeing as they do yours .

That's meant to say next time they ask, say you can't and give them the name of a cat sitter.

Honestly OP there is no point in moaning on here about it.

Tell them no and pay someone to look after your cat when you're away.

You can of course see through thr August arrangement and when you get back say thank you with a bottle of wine or box of chocolates then next time they ask just saybyou candy and give them althe name of a cat sitter. Don't ask them for favours again

I forgot to add into the mix, when thy dropped the key off this week my daughter was home with a chest infection as well. Instead of them saying you've got too much on your plate they still handed the key over instead of asking someone else!

But it's not their fault you agreed to all these dates or that your daughter has a chest infection. They only asked, you didn't have to say yes.

You should have said no from the beginning - you can't expect them to change their plans last minute because of your personal situation

You might feel like you have too much on your plate but honestly, 5 mins a couple of times a day is hardly a big deal! If you think you'll forget, stick a post it note somewhere you can't miss. Or set an alarm on your phone.

The next day when they brought the list round was really the time to say that didn't work for you.

Now you can make that clear. You don't need to justify it, apologise or explain.

Just tell the truth, it is too much and they can find someone else for next time.

They could also get a timed feeder than would feed the cat for several days at a time so you could reduce how often you have to go in if that would make it more manageable.

I agree. She can just tell them she isn't able to continue with the arrangement. She doesn't need to give a reason.

So tell the truth and say so nicely

Frankly it sounds as if you've got too much on to have agreed looking after them at all, and PP's suggestions of offering a local cat sitters details are good.
Do be aware that you'll probably lose the cat care they do for you though, and that you'll have to make other arrangements

Just say 'i'm sorry but I can no longer look after your car. I have also booked a cat sitter for my own holiday'

Say you can't manage it, and won't be doing it anymore unless they pay you the same rate as a catsitter.

I don't think feeding the neighbours' cat is actually the issue here. You're trying to be all things to all people all at the same time. As a single parent working full time feeding their cat would take a few minutes, but it's clearly the straw that's breaking the camel's back. I get you want to help your parents, but you're at risk of burn out through exhaustion. Are there things you do you could cut back on to give yourself time to breathe?

Because you have cats yourself and you could reciprocate? It would be fine now to say actually, you hadn’t realised how often it would be and you can no longer do this, however, if I’d brought the key round to you thinking it was all sorted I’d have been quite miffed !

Could you suggest they buy an automatic cat feeder which you fill up, but it's fewer trips? Or could you feed the cat at yours? This is what my neighbours do with our wandering moggy.

I take your point re others being available but they probably just want one person in their house rather than a stream of them, and as someone who wants cat sitting in return I can see why it looks logical to them to keep asking you (but also why it's not fair on you because it's not equal.)

I think it's worth sitting them down and explaining it's just too much and when you have a sick small child etc you can't just leave them so you're never going to be as reliable as a couple or older person. You might want to wait until after August though! You need to weigh up if it's worth the candle.

I would just say to them I don’t mind feeding your cat xx times a year as you have very kindly looked after my cat xx times a year but for the other occasions you will need to find someone else - end of conversation

Yeah, you're right.

Personally I'd just explain to them, but some people are simply incapable of it.

Behave, it takes 5 minutes to nip in and feed a cat. If you can’t be arsed to do it just tell them. But don’t expect them to feed your cats anymore either.

I have your situation, but with chickens(!) I agreed to look after them for our next door neighbour for a week when they first moved in, without realising they'd be going away every other week for anywhere between 3-7 days at a time. The poor things aren't kept in very nice conditions I've realised so it's a time and an ethical problem for me. If I don't look after them the pattern seems to be they don't ask anyone else to and just leave them for 3 days. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Not sure what to suggest OP, the ideal would be to be open and honest with her and say you can't commit to looking after the cat so frequently?

See, I just think this is really unpleasant.

OP is a grown adult and can just say "no". No need to play stupid games and try and guilt trip people.