Would you sack nanny over this?

Not angry at all, just bewildered by the utter lack of basic comprehension on this thread. 😂

Grown adults unable to understand its not about the boyfriend.😂

You have to go through the disciplinary procedure though which legally should be in her employee contract.

It certainly qualifies as a sackable offence. Whether you do decide to sack your Nanny should depend on how much credit she has from the previous six years. I had a Nanny who was loyal, kind and loving to the babies but she made a really poor decision which caused me to question her judgement at a fundamental level. I didn't sack her then but I found myself checking up on everything, all the time, and that's a horrible relationship to have, especially with a live-in Nanny- as others have said, it's quite an intimate arrangement. Eventually I had to let her go, albeit with references- because my trust in her judgement and therefore safety of my DC was broken.
If she has been wonderful for six years, and there's enough invested in the relationship with your children, you could keep her on with a final warning, or perhaps explore whether the time has come for her to transition to live-out.
Either way you need to be really clear about boundaries moving forward.
I must say though, that keeping a Nanny for six years says a lot about you and her, to the credit of both. It's what stopped me saying Yes to sacking her straight off. She will be an important feature in all your children's lives and potentially a life-long asset to them like an honorary Aunt or godmother- don't throw that away lightly.

Really? If you had been given sole charge of a shop for 6 years and lived over the shop would the shop owner really sack you? Especially considering if the shop had been fine and business hadn't been affected.

Thank God!

This is such a good way to explain it

she is so enamoured of this man that she breaches her own standard of professionalism. For me it wouldn't matter how good she was I would need to let her go. It might be a wake up call for her (that said, a warning might work the same magic)

I know, but I read it as being in the house rather than sleeping there - probably because I couldn't imagine that being requested

As said though I could be wrong, but it doesn't change the point that one thing leads to another and here OP is

Somewhere you can never be.

If you worked in a shop and left your boyfriend in sole charge while you popped to the shops for 10 minutes you would lose your job. Your baby is infinitely more precious than the contents of a till.

WhichEllie · 08/06/2024 01:55
Nanny has been with us for 6 years

she is just 18 and I wouldn’t think at that age

Er, sorry, what?? Has she been your nanny/babysitter since she was 12?

This confused me initially until l realised "she is just 18" referred to SD (the step daughter), not the nanny.

Lack of clarity? What is unclear about being a nanny? Your job is to look after children. You are failing to do that when you leave someone else in your employer's house with your employer's baby.

Well I’m in the same boat as you then!

It’s laughable you talk about her being able to talk to you, why don’t you actually talk to her instead of sending texts and getting dh to talk to her. Sit down face to face and have an adult conversation! It’s your lack of clarity that has caused this problem!

If you read the original post, she simply said she didn’t want him staying in the house!

Again, OP already said they'd made " a firm boundary" about allowing the boyfriend in the house and it was ignored

Of course I could be wrong, but I'm not sure what difference repeating it is going to make, whether he remains living in the caravan or not

He has to go now and she should too regardless of how good she's been. There was no need for her to leave your baby with her boyfriend , in a matter of mins something could have happened, OK it seems it didn't but she left your vulnerable baby basically with a stranger ,

Classic MN.

If you don't know better than to use the term 'common', there is no hope for you.

If you're generally happy with her & trust her then have a meeting with her telling her what you're not happy about & what you expect from her during her working hours. Set the boundaries & tell her her boyfriend isn't allowed in the house & if they both don't adhere to the rules then he can no longer stay in the caravan & you will seriously be thinking about her role as Nanny & whether it's working & if you can trust her or not.

He is having free accomodation on the condition not to enter the house. Yet he did. And stayed there looking after the baby that the nanny should have taken with her

It seems to me a classic case of "give them an inch and they'll take a yard", which is probably why so many have said they've never have let him live there in the first place

Realistically there's no way he wasn't going to come into the house once in situ, even if they had to manufacture an "emergency" with the caravan to justify it, but I agree that leaving the DC with him is something else again

Why are you confusing employees in a paid position of trust with your friends?

Has it got to the point that every potential partner or friend needs a DBS check!
What happens if anyone has friends or family in the house, how do they go the loo, do they take all the children?
Or when your at an event , you tell the friend next to you can ,you watch the pram as it won't fit in the portaloo?
How do you get petrol as a single parent?

Adults or just common?