Would you sack nanny over this?

But she allowed bf to stay on their premises

I'm just saying it's not black and white

Unless op said I don't ever want bf in the house

But her post doesn't say that

Just that she didn't want bf to stay in the house

I'm defending the nanny as she told op what she did once she was back from work

Yes I don't know what she didn't walk baby in the buggy unless pouring

And obv quicker to take car if has a car seat in it for oldest child

Having other nanny's over with their charges is not the same as a boyfriend popping in and certainly not the same as leaving a child with them!

Tho in this case. Op said she didn't want him to stay in the house hence the caravan and garden

Her post doesn't say he wasn't allowed in the house

Unless they had the chat of bf not allowed in house ever - then one would assume he could come in for a while

Yes at the interview we discussed having mums and nannies over for play dates - coffee mornings - I did summer picnic parties and would hire a bouncy castle. And a Christmas party with fc

@Blondeshavemorefun

You say your employers gave you free rein, so does that mean there was a conversation at some point where they gave you permission to have people over? If not, then I just can't imagine not even asking "Is it ok if my bf pops in later?" when I'm in someone else's house. The OP's nanny never asked nor did the OP give permission for this man to be in her house, let alone for him to be left alone in her house and alone with her baby.

I don't think it is micromanaging to expect to be asked if that is ok.

Tbh my employers always gave me free reign with people in the house

I was a nanny for over 20yrs

99% be other mums /nannies and similar age children for play dates

1% or less and dh but as said previously mb and db would know

Dh May pop in later if that's ok as he's in the area working

Or he's dropping off xyz that I forgot this am

It really was a case of they trusted me and trusted my judgement of who came over

No I wouldn't leave them alone in the house but more as not my house

But def allowed people there

Seems since covid many more families want to know where they child is at all times and who seeing /what doing and can't have people round to 'vet' them

Yes I was happy to write in diary - park with x

Or going to baby bounce

But plans can change

But equally if raining x may come to us or us to them

Or bounce was shut /issues with bouncy castle /no electricity so did something else

I didn't have to ask /tell mb and db

I just got on with my job

Seems to be so much micro managing now sadly

A nanny shouldn't need to be told to not bring people into the house. Nor leave them holding her employers' baby. It's common sense, surely.

Reading the first post again op says she didn't want bf staying in the house

But didn't mention he wasn't allowed in the house

Or was nanny told this as doesn't say this to us

Staying in the house to me means he can't live /sleep there

Not that he isn't allowed only the kitchen etx

Hence why I said I was on the fence

Did you not read op replies ?

She did

We just don't know how the Nanny reacted after

Coz on the fence as in nannys do sometimes have personal visitors family /friends /partners

Op allowed bf to stay

Tbh a little naive thinking he would never go in the house

And after the sd mentioned it , op should have had a stern word with nanny but didn't

This is not good. I'd talk to her. Tell her, nicely, that you're extremely upset about what happened and that it would be deemed by many as a sackable offence. Give her one more chance, but you must set boundaries. If she protests tell her it's best if she leaves.

Whoops hit post too soon

How long was nanny with bf

A few months v a few years can make a diff

Ans possible she may live in with him now

6yrs is a long time to have a nanny and I assume no other issues in that time

And yes often better the devil you know and the kids adore her

She made an error in judgement

I'm glad you feel she should keep her job

Was she sorry ?

Contract depending I thought first offence was a verbal warning. Then a written ?

Looking at dates this is over a week old so what happened on the Sunday they came back

Did nanny reply to text

Did you have the written warning

That's not remotely the same @Blondeshavemorefun so not sure why you say you're on the fence.

I'm on the fence on this one

I was a nanny for 20yrs + and no I wouldn't leave a charge of mine alone with my bf

But years ago my bf who then was later my dh , did come to work. Allowed my employers and popped in occasionally but with mb and db knowledge

I think you have both had a lapse of judgement

You allowing bf to move in but not allowed in house

Her allowing bf to look after child and enter house

The eldest step-daughter is 18, the nanny is with them 6 years.

It's really not confusing!

You say she has been with you for 6 years. Then you say she is only 18. I'm confused. She has been a Nanny since she was 12 ?
What am I reading wrongly ?

I think you did make a mistake by letting her boyfriend move in as kind it as it was this is obviously where it went down hill for boundaries it was unacceptable for her to leave baby with boyfriend absolutely would I sack her possibly but I would have got a dbs on boyfriend at nannys expense immediately before hand only u know if sacking her is right thing to do

No, stepdaughter is only 18

@Bunnie007 I agree. Just about every day there are stories about paedophiles who fooled their wives, who groomed families, who fooled their colleagues, who were Such Nice Blokes, who were charming, who everyone trusted. Yet on this thread there are posters (wilfully naive, perhaps) throwing their hands up in shock that anyone should have an issue with this stranger having access to a baby, and unsupervised access at that, and saying but the nanny knows him!

I think once you have experience of safe guarding and hear some very disturbing things you just become much more wary. I’m aware I seem paranoid but it is the boyfriend being alone with the child I have the issue with. OP couldn’t understand why Nanny hadn’t taken the child, what if (worst case scenario I know) boyfriend is encouraging Nanny to leave the child as he wants unsupervised access. People on this thread seem to believe the Nanny would ‘know’ if her boyfriend was a risk, I don’t agree. This is what concerns me.

What makes you so sure it was only 10 mins and this was the only occasion.

I will bet good money what the nanny admitted to is just the tip of the iceberg and this has been happening on other occasions for longer as well as having her boyfriend in the house behind the OP's back.

Part of why this would be an issue for me is that it wasn't an emergency, where I could understand it, it was to avoid walking for 5 mins which is a ridiculous reason to disobey a direct instruction from your boss

And TBH someone that lazy shouldn't be a nanny anyway

I can see the logic of people saying sack the nanny BUT it was 10 minutes. Nanny trusts her boyfriend. I have had far worse from nannies in the pas and good nannies are like gold dust, so I would lay the law down very firmly - boy friend has to be off the premises and not in the house when she is working (install a video doorbell at both doors?) Written warning and no reference if she then breaks the rules. Good luck.

Presumably the doctor hadn't lived with the family of the 1 year.
That's the difference.

It takes faith in someone look after your children whether that's a nanny, nursery or school. It's another level when it's someone living in your home, access to your lives, your post, your bills your phone and personal life.