Would you sack nanny over this?

It was beyond stupid to let her boyfriend move in. I can't believe you were that foolish.

I am a longtime nanny employer and I would absolutely sack her. It is gross misconduct. But I would have followed the appropriate procedure as set out in her contract. You don't seem willing to able to manage this as the employment relationship it is.

How old is this woman, OP? She must be in her mid twenties at least if she's been working for you for six years. How naive/immature must she be to let her boyfriend into the house while you're out, let alone leave him in charge of your baby? And not having a car seat when the nursery is five minutes walk away?

This. Seems a knee jerk over reaction to me. A ‘we’re not comfortable with what happened, don’t let it happen again’ would suffice in my book.
We’re talking about 10 minutes, she may have genuinely forgotten she didn’t have a car seat and putting the baby in the buggy and walking would have made her late, rather than just running up the road. Your dh obviously didn’t remember to take the car seat back after dropping ds off. Would you have been happier for her to have been late for pick up?
Might be an idea to buy car seats that remain in the nanny’s car or at home rather than messing about swapping the only two you have around. What would happen if she needed to take both children out in the car due to an emergency and you have one of them in either of your cars? The nanny should have access to a car seat for both children at all times.

Temporary for a few weeks should always be assumed to be much longer, even if by good fortune it is less.

Totally agree with this. I think she’ll leave after getting that text.

I know you have decided to keep her, but personally I think the relationship is forever tarnished. She knew you were not comfortable with having him in the house - and yet she went as far as leaving your small child with him. If your child had of choked - would he have known how to save her?

I think sometimes there can be misunderstandings ie if the employer wasn't perhaps expressly clear in something you can give someone the benefit of the doubt.

But your nanny was employed to look after your child - she has enough experience to know that does not meant leaving your child with someone else. She has shown a serious error of judgement - that is more the issue than the mistake itself.

Yes I would. This is a significant safeguarding concern and she went directly against your wishes, although I wonder if your kindness with him blurred the boundaries for her.

I agree sadly it all seems a bit engineered - dating a nanny, suddenly becoming homeless , being a nice guy , it seems off

I would give her a formal warning and ask him to leave on a certain date. Set a boundary that he doesn’t come into your home. She was absolutely wrong to do it but I think a very firm and once only warning might be enough. Anything after this and sack her but you say she’s really
good so maybe a strict warning is needed this time

Exactly. Paedophiles are adept at targeting access to their prey. They do it via churches, jobs, dating single parents to name a few. Dating a nanny then slowly moving the goalposts till he's got free access to the child would be a holy grail tbh.

Your relationship with her is over and she needs to go.

I can't believe the posters saying 'sack the nanny'. She's a good nanny who has worked for you for 6 years and who your children love. Boyfriend is a 'long term partner'. Offering him a place to stay was nice but expecting him not to enter your house was unrealistic. It is a sellers market for nannies. If you issue her with a written warning she will probably leave. Surely a grown up conversation re you not wanting children left with other people is te way to go. Might not be enough though and the relationship between yu and your nanny may be irretrievably damaged.

This

I think I would give her a written warning only because she didn't have the car seat so it was partly your fault though I totally agree she shouldn't have done it.

Agreed, her actions are unacceptable and she has no justification.
It’s difficult with domestic staff because there is a blurring of lines, but ultimately she is a CONTRACTED employee. You need to follow the same disciplinary process you would in a regular organisation.
If you bring her into an “investigation” meeting I think the outcome will depend very much on her response. Is she remorseful? Does she understand why her actions were wrong? Or does she get defensive and dismissive of the accusations you’ve made or try to lie/minimise? This will tell you a lot about whether the trust has completely gone, or whether a final written warning is hopefully sufficient for it to not happen again.
The bf has definitely got to go though. As I said earlier, she IS an employee regardless of the friendship you will have made and the bond she’s formed with the children, and she’s paid to do a job. It’s not appropriate for the bf to be around whilst she is at work. I don’t take my husband into the office with me while I work and wouldn’t expect my employer to be okay with it.
A good nanny is like gold dust right now, but ultimately the welfare of your vulnerable children is the priority. There’s no point having a nanny who you can’t trust as the children would be better in a nursery or with a childminder if this is the case as it probably undermines a lot of the reasons you chose to employ a nanny rather than use other childcare settings.

I don’t understand why she is ever driving somewhere that you say is 5 mins walk away to be honest.
A DBS check just means he’s never been caught, not a chance I’d have let him anywhere near my house. I might have asked nanny if she wanted to change to a live out contract and she can move in with him locally?
Shes shown a massive lack of sense here which would worry me. Why is he even hanging about at that time - does he also not work?

This is gross misconduct and a failure of safeguarding.

You set clear boundaries and she has breached them and broken your trust.

To be honest, I'd be livid. The trust is now gone. How will you ever be sure she isn't leaving your child/ren with a stranger in your home, park etc.
I'd fire her to be honest but I am distrustful and precious about who looks after my kids and I'd never allow a male due to my own CSA.

You can't trust her. When BF gets his own place, how do you know she won't take the children there?

What would she have done if the bf wasn't there??

Op I have had nannies too. This is a HUGE no. She left a stranger with your baby, because that is who he is to your baby. That's not an error in judgement, that's gross negligence. And people need to realise that even though if its 6 years, a nanny would leave you in a heartbeat for a better offer so I would not feel bound with loyalty.

I think it depends on what you want to happen going forward, do you want to keep her? If so then I think you need to consider that she wants to live with her boyfriend so start thinking whether she is a live out nanny for you or could you accommodate him too. 6 years is a long time for live in. It's not right she left the baby but you need to decide what you feel

I understand why you're annoyed.
I'd tell her she's crossed the line and then id either see how she and thr bf get on for a few month and then decide but long term the bf would have to go

This is very naive.

A few of us did! :)

Ah yeh thanks. Iv just woken up & misread 🤣

What a stupid assumption to make. You really believe this?