Lone man in soft play area

So he treated a soft play that the manager allows people to treat as a cafe... as a cafe?
And he had a coffee, talked on his phone then left?

I'm not seeing the danger tbh

Of course it's hyperbolic - but so is PP who can't understand how people could possibly enjoy children with entirely pure motives.

I'm still amazed at the number of people on here who seem to believe they can leave all parental supervisory responsibilities at the door when they enter a busy public place that happens to be largely designed around children.

I do remember the soft play days, with all the little horrors who would push the other children over, whack them with the hard foam shapes, demand something that another child was playing with, even when there were other identical ones available - all whilst their parents would blissfully ignore them and be immersed in chatting or be glued to their phones. Then again, maybe they were like the ones on this thread, assuming that any adult watching a child (even a potentially aggressive stranger/older one targeting their own child) at soft play is most probably a pervert.

Plenty of abusers (sadly) have children of their own, so there's absolutely no guarantee that another parent there with their child couldn't pose a dreadful risk to your child should you not bother to watch them.

Supposing that this man who was 'shamelessly' minding his own business, drinking his coffee and using his phone had suddenly tried to get past all of the parents and staff there and grab/groom/target one of the children, do you really think he would have had any chance at all of success? Assuming that the parents weren't also all hooked on their phones, of course...

Sounds like he was taking a call ? Maybe he couldn’t find anywhere else to sit?

Exactly, I thought everyone knew this?

YANBU. I wouldn't be taking my kids to a soft play that allowed childless adults in, especially men.

I might just be being over cautious because I work in a men's prison but there you go.

It is a bit strange as if I wanted to grab a coffee, a soft play would be the last place to go unless I wanted to talk on the phone and not hear a thing because of screaming children. It's not like you can say you love the vibe of the place?

I would also be worried if he was on a phone a lot he may be taking photos of kids.

Maybe it is me being paranoid, but you never know, I have heard of so many weird things happening.

I think as a teacher who has child protection training, the OP is completely right to think it’s a strange policy. it’s fine to bring it up and fine to not want to give it custom, it’s definitely not the norm.
The zoo thing, really?! That’s just facetious 🙄

But why is it so weird to think that adults would actively enjoy watching little children play and hear them laughing and see them running around, climbing, sliding, whooping and having the time of their lives?

This isn't the Victorian era, when children were seen as an unfortunate and annoying fact of life that had to be endured with the minimum of effort and interest, in order for there to eventually be more 'proper people' (adults) in society.

Do you think that anybody who goes to the zoo with the express purpose of spending hours closely watching the animals - as opposed to driving past on the road outside and happening to catch a glimpse of a giraffe's head over the fence - is also weird, or even maybe imagining vile bestiality scenarios in their heads?!

You do realise men commit most of the violent and sexual crime? Good Lord… 🙄

Could have been anything. Even a cover story for whatever lies he was telling on the phone. Background noise.

Can't think of anywhere worse than a soft play for a sit down and a drink like.

All the soft plays I have ever been to do not allow people without children to come in. It’s basic safeguarding.

Sound like he and others come in just to use the cafe as confirmed by the owner

if you don’t like the set up go elsewhere

Would you think this behaviour as equally 'strange' if it were a lone female. It's sad that society sees males as threats and predatory without any behaviour to suggest this being the case.
As a single father I often feel the need to prove myself or check how innocent actions such as helping a child that has fallen in a playground for instance might be outwardly perceived.
Males are predominantly seen as guilty until proven innocent around children, I don't feel females are viewed in the same way.
I understand the need for child protection by it is an very unfair perception of the vast majority of men.

Maybe he works nearby and it's the closest cafe?

You’re not wrong op. He may well have completely innocent reasons to be there but that doesn’t make it wrong to be wary. I’m sure whoever took Madeleine McCann had been quietly and inconspicuously watching the situation from the sidelines so they could spot their opportunity. Good for you that you watch your DC the whole time - I did too. Never let them out of my sight.

Some of the responses on here on are deliberately obtuse and I can only assume people are baiting you - nobody who cares about children and has half a mind on how manipulative and devious abusers are would be totally comfortable with some random lone man pitching himself in a location like that.

Mine would be 140 but current facts are that 90% of abuse on minors is from a close male member of the family. That goes to 93% the younger the child and falls to 88% once the child is autonomous. That 5% though is still someone the child has close contact with. Teacher, sports trainer, family friend.

Nothing to do with expectations. Just facts. And those are the cases which have been reported and recorded. So factor in the (estimated) 50% of child abuse cases never reported.

Since people are imagining the reasons that the man was there.... Maybe he was in fact a "secret shopper" sent there to specifically test the soft plays safety policies.
I don't have an issue with lone adults in playgrounds etc. Its true lots of older people like watching people play, or just sit in the benches that are in the playground etc. And its fresht air.

Planes falling out the sky is also rare but not non-existent

Do you get worried whenever there's a tiny bit of turbulence?

Anxiety disorders are not rare in children. Are you not concerned you may be passing one on if you're this vigilant and concerned about extremely rare events?

It's such a sad thing to say. Have you got low expectations of your grandad?
@NasiDagang

what an odd response, PP was clearly trying to make a point that families are more likely to access and abuse children (and get away with it) than a random adult going about their business in the vicinity of children.

She didn't say anything about her own family!

regarding people saying "this wouldn't be an issue if it was a lone female"

Soft play places I have been to wouldn't just let a lone female in either - a friend was meeting me and my child there and they had to confirm that and then the staff let them in. I probably would notice a lone female sitting alone and then leaving without a child as well. I wouldn't assume "paedophile" but I would notice it the same way I would notice a lone man (who I also wouldn't assume was a paedophile) because its unusual and because the coffee is so terrible noon wouldgot there willingly without a child.

The OP isn't saying the man is at fault here. She is asking whether the centres policies are.

OP - if I was you I would send an email to the soft play management just querying their policies. Obviously you would make it non-hysterical. Just something about "I was surprised to be told that..." I wouldn't lead with the story of seeing the man at all as he isn't the focus.

Stranger is its own word. It doesn’t mean he is strange.

stranger - a person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar

I’ve addressed the point about abusers who are known to a child. It doesn’t mean however that a lone man (or woman) at the soft play is not suspicious.

Yes stranger abduction is very rare; but also if a child is abducted he/she is unlikely to be found (alive), so it’s consequences are more deadly. With child abuse involving a known person you at least have a living child that you can help with therapy

I wouldn’t be going back there once being made aware that lone adults were welcome. OP’s instincts are spot on.