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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or are my elderly mum's neighbours?

108 replies

GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 14:44

My mum is a council tenant, has a house she's lived in for 50+ years on a nice estate where most of the houses are now privately owned, including the one adjoining her. She's 83 and a keen gardener, but goes for the cottage garden/wild roses look.
Her neighbours are total arseholes. In their late 50s both physically fit and capable but spend their days moaning and complaining. Every year at around this time they start putting letter thru her door about issues such as ivy over growing (I looked, it was literally 2 leaves) or her hedge. It upsets her terribly and makes her scared to be outside. In the past they have shouted and screamed at her and threatened her, and she thinks they poisoned a fox cub that she found dead.
They've just sent a new letter complaining that her hedge is too high and spoiling their view (of a road). It's probably about 5 foot tall at most. Do they have any grounds to complain and make her cut it legally, or can she just ignore them? It's not going over to their side of the property

OP posts:
timenowplease · 07/06/2024 17:42

Miriad · 07/06/2024 14:58

The legal height for a front garden fence or hedge in the UK is 1m (3.2ft). If it’s taller you need planning permission.

Can you provide a link for this claim?

Zanatdy · 07/06/2024 17:41

I’d report them to the HA and explain they are intimidating your poor mum

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/06/2024 16:01

💐

LakieLady · 07/06/2024 16:00

If the neighbours are also social housing tenants, I'd report them to the HA/council. Your DM is a vulnerable, elderly person and they are harassing her. Their behaviour is anti-social.

And I'd start keeping a diary of every incident, with dates, times etc.

Her neighbours should try living next door to my elderly MIL's neighbours. They haven't touched their back garden in the 15 years or so they've lived there, and it's completely overgrown. The clematis montana that the previous occupier planted has colonised the garden to such an extent that it's growing 2/3 of the way up a mature silver birch that is taller than the house, and all along the back fence of MIL's. She doesn't object, she thinks it lovely (which it does).

Your DM's garden sounds similar to MIL's. She has over 50 different roses, delphiniums, lupins and foxgloves and it really is a lovely cottagey garden.

BigFrau · 07/06/2024 15:46

You are right @GracieGrowler . Hedges are only potentially considered a problem over 6 foot.
The 1 foot rule at the front of a house applies to fences.

How dare they intimidate her outside and try to deprive her of her gardening hobby. It is a wonderful activity, great for body and mind especially for older people. I really hope you get them to back TF off.

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 15:10

ok so my advice - refer them to HA

And if you can get a photo and post here…. we will have a better idea of what HA will conclude

Original poster
GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 15:08

No photo.
I was addressing other posters who said to go round.
I've just found this which is interesting and states a 'high hedge' is one over 6 foot tall which hers def isn't

www.rhs.org.uk/plants/types/hedges/nuisance-overgrown

OP posts:
GandTtwice · 07/06/2024 15:08

Miriad · 07/06/2024 14:58

The legal height for a front garden fence or hedge in the UK is 1m (3.2ft). If it’s taller you need planning permission.

The height restriction is for only for fences walls etc but not hedges/trees /shrubs.

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 15:07

do you have a photo you could post op?

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 15:06

i’m not saying go around to them

i am saying the next time they come around, just say to them to contact HA and let them arbitrate

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 15:05

that’s in the past
this is a new issue

just say to them… address your concerns to HA

end of.

Original poster
GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 15:04

I think because she is a tenant she is always terrified of being kicked out so hates to 'cause trouble'.
@crayfishyum I'm sure there was a lot more too it than just a visit but I don't keep records and she's quite forgetful. Normally when they demand something to be cut she just does it.
It's all very well saying 'go round and speak to them' but it has never gone well before and none of us want to deal with irrational aggressive people.

OP posts:
crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 15:01

Yellowpingu · 07/06/2024 14:56

Most solicitors will do 30 minutes free consultation. You could do the rounds explaining what you know so far to each one and ask about next steps.

this is complete nonsense and a mumsnet work of fiction perpetuated about 10 years ago

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 15:00

GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 14:55

I'm fairly sure this happened one year and a nice man came out and complimented her garden, but it didn't resolve it completely

Show quote history

that’s not how it works

If there is a complaint, there will be fairly extensive written communication

DaughterNo2 · 07/06/2024 15:00

Yellowpingu · 07/06/2024 14:56

Most solicitors will do 30 minutes free consultation. You could do the rounds explaining what you know so far to each one and ask about next steps.

Sorry this isn’t true at all

Lavenderandbrown · 07/06/2024 15:00

I would contact an elder abuse agency or the uk equivalent of “AARP”. Yelling and intimidation are in fact elder abuse. Don’t cut down a single thing. Let them sweat it out or get tired of fussing/complaining. Also send DM outside to enjoy her garden. Put a hat and sunglasses on and ignore the neighbors…feign she is hoh and just garden along and ignore. Right now I’m sitting on my patio looking at my neighbors “the trashes” pool which they haven’t chlorinated knowing it will remain green until they have a party. You can pretty much do what you want on your property but almost zero on someone else’s. Lastly…there was a recent thread about trees. Get an arborist or tree specialist to examine those back garden trees. Surely they are too old or protected or something the council should know about and stop that shit too. This is foreign to me but it seems nearly impossible to cut down trees in the uk. And let them trim the few ivy leaves hanging over….i wouldn’t touch a thing on their property.

piningforautumn · 07/06/2024 14:59

I'd wait to be told by someone in a position of authority. They sound like scummy people, and I doubt they know the rules themselves, much less how to enforce them. It's a terrible shame that they're ruining her enjoyment of her garden, but if she can, she should just ignore them. As others have suggested, a security camera (or even a fake one) might be good idea to encourage them to be decent human beings more polite. 🙄

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 14:59

but seriously just tell them to address complaints to HA

Hinkuy · 07/06/2024 14:59

GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 14:57

@crayfishyum yes - he said they lunged towards him, fist out stretched. The woman is the aggressive one - she's huge (well over 6 foot) and terrifying

I'd go round and record them with your phone. Explain last time your brother knocked she lunged at him and you'd rather avoid that- tell them to leave your mum alone and present them with a cease and desist letter. Install a camera in your mums house. Poor lady.

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 14:59

GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 14:57

@crayfishyum yes - he said they lunged towards him, fist out stretched. The woman is the aggressive one - she's huge (well over 6 foot) and terrifying

did he call the police?
was she held back?
can you post a picture of the hedge?

Miriad · 07/06/2024 14:58

The legal height for a front garden fence or hedge in the UK is 1m (3.2ft). If it’s taller you need planning permission.

Original poster
GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 14:57

@crayfishyum yes - he said they lunged towards him, fist out stretched. The woman is the aggressive one - she's huge (well over 6 foot) and terrifying

OP posts:
Yellowpingu · 07/06/2024 14:56

Most solicitors will do 30 minutes free consultation. You could do the rounds explaining what you know so far to each one and ask about next steps.

NotAllowed · 07/06/2024 14:56

They’re welcome to cut back/trim and foliage that grows over into their boundary, but nothing more than that. Your mum is under no obligation to do it for them or change her garden in anyway. Her house, her garden. What miserable bastards.

Original poster
GracieGrowler · 07/06/2024 14:55

crayfishyum · 07/06/2024 14:54

suggest they take their complaints to HA and let them objectively conclude either way

I'm fairly sure this happened one year and a nice man came out and complimented her garden, but it didn't resolve it completely

OP posts:
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