To not want sex when DC is in the room?

I also read it as @Catsmere did even though op has since clarified.

It would make me feel very disturbed and ill if my DH tried that and I wouldn't be able to think or look at him the same way.

I could not get sexually turned on with a nine year old in the room, doesn’t matter if they are asleep, and I feel a bit queasy thinking that he can tbh.

If they're sleeping though, they're not abused, because they won't even know.

I think it's abusive if they do it knowing, or not caring if you are listening but not if it happens by accident. I don't think it's abusive, for example, if a child walks in on it because parents didn't lock door at 2am but child had a nightmare and came looking. As long as the parents stop!!

But the thing here is, 2m away is not reasonable to expect that your child might not wake up and hear. It's probably 50:50 they would so its not right to do it. But I don't think it's dreadfully wrong, I think he'll understand once you point it out.

Not sure bathroom would be much better though, going by most hotel rooms.

I was an abused child, who had this happen to me.

I'll never understand 'parents', who think their sexual gratification is more important than not abusing their child. Says a lot about someone who has no trouble subjecting a child to their sex life, sleeping or otherwise.

Eugh that is disgusting of him, he needs to get that out of his head for the week or two. Holidays are for family and not sexy time. You need to find more activities if he’s that bored.

Img 🤦‍♀️. How did you get that from the OP?

This made me feel a bit sick

This has not been said at all. There is a difference between a grope and a caress and we are not given enough detail to judge either way.

I think it just sounds a bit crude and therefore you can read it as coercive. If OP had said 'started to initiate sex with our 9 year old in the same room', the focus would be on the fact the 9 year old was there.
That's what the post is about.
Absolutely no way is it reasonable in my opinion, which seems to be what most people think. Thankfully.

Where did you read the bit where I said that? I know he stopped. It's doing it without asking I was referring to.

Back to the topic, whatever else there was (or wasn't) to it, doing it in front of a child was wrong.

Where did you read the bit that says "I didn't want to, I told him to stop but he carried on".

Fine, but it certainly sounds like it to me.

Perhaps we ought to let op clarify if her husband sexually assaulted her, before we make stuff up ourselves?

Doesn't it seem obvious to you from her wording? "DH started fingering me last night, which presumably he wanted to lead to sex."

You don't know this, stop making shit up!

He starts groping your vulva without so much as "are you in the mood" and he does it in front of a child ... bloody hell.

You seem to be the only one who has taken it that way. How else would you have written what happened?

Does your other half ask permission before he touches you? Presumably the guy didn’t shove fingers in out of the blue and stopped when op told him to.

Jesus, wanting to have sex with a child in the room is a no no but don’t go painting someone a rapist when you know nothing of the details please.

I don’t consider it abuse if the child is fast asleep and oblivious, but I wouldn’t risk it in case they woke up.
I wouldn’t be relaxed and wouldn’t feel sexy. It’s a definite no for me.

9? NINE YEARS OLD

That IS child abuse. WTF. Surely there are other problems in the relationship because no good husband and father would ever consider this.

It's kinda implied by the fact that she says "DH started fingering me last night, which presumably he wanted to lead to sex".

Doesn't sound mutual to me.

Honestly unbelievable that you'd need to even ask.

What am I even reading. What’s wrong with you both. Him for trying and you for the fact you even need to ask.

No way, maybe a young baby but definitely not a 9 year old, gross!