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AIBU?

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Original poster

31 weeks and refusing to go into work

38 replies

Fatandtired12 · 07/06/2024 08:28

Hi all,
So I did post something similar asking for advice.

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with my second. For the past week I've felt awful (some kind of flu bug I think) u dud one shift Tuesday and it felt like I was going to pass out.
Yesterday I was meant to be working but had to call out sick. I still felt like shit and to top it off I woke up at 5am having to empty my bladder and bowel (sorry tmi). (My body was and still seems to be purging anything and everything in my stomach, when I wiped first thing there was a yellowish mucus on the paper but I was tested for infections a few days ago and It was negative plus it was only there on the first time of wiping. I had this overwhelming panic that baby was getting ready to make an early appearance. I also felt like I had to get as much done as I could to set up for baby as I thought he had seemed to move lower and had become more active
This morning I woke up feeling a bit better flu wise, it's mainly a cough and blocked nose now but called out sick this morning as I'm exhausted, my back won't stop hurting, my bump feels tender and I still can't hold onto any liquid or anything solid. I can't explain it but it just feels like something is going to happen soon.
But now I think I'm being unreasonable for missing a shift over something I just feel and thinking I should have just powered through my shift today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatandtired12 · 07/06/2024 09:29

My cover for maternity has been hired and trained already but it seems they arent working out like my manager had hoped ( refusing to cover extra shifts, doing what is considered the bare minimum while on shift). I can't help but feel bad for having to go on maternity next month but im already suffering with spd and now the unexplained panic of baby possibly coming sooner has me anxious

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatandtired12 · 07/06/2024 09:27

@OlderandwiserMaybe
I'm due to see my midwife on the 13th for a check up as little one is a little on the small side to what they were expecting, he's between the 10th and 30th percentile. Which is why I'm a little worried about the possibility of him making an earlier appearance

OP posts:
Reugny · 07/06/2024 09:17

My boss sent me a message telling me its hard for them with a young child and working full time but she's covered my shift

And? She's the boss when staff are sick she needs to find cover if there is no-one else then the buck stops with her.

There is a YouTube/Tiktok channel by Ben Askins who calls out poor bosses so you are not alone.

OlderandwiserMaybe · 07/06/2024 09:17

I agree with others. regardless of your pregnancy if you've a suspected stomach virus - you shouldn't be at work serving food to customers.

It sounds like your place of work generally struggles to cover periods of absence (as per your update this has happened before). You are not the manager so this is not your problem its a problem that more senior managers need to resolve. After all - the nearer you get to your due date - they will have to be covering your absence anyway. They should be planning for that already so cover for you should be becoming less of an issue.

I would however say that you can set expectations a bit. Explain you've had a stomach bug and you will not be back into work until fully recovered - at least 3/4 days from the onset of symptoms. That will help them manage the situation and cover your shift.

Dont hesitate to go to GP or midwife if you don't start improving soon. Take care of yourself and try not to worry about work.

Original poster
Fatandtired12 · 07/06/2024 09:07

My boss sent me a message telling me its hard for them with a young child and working full time but she's covered my shift. To which I am thankful and I do appreciate it's hard when there are young children involved. Also I am.a hypocrite in terms of last weekend we were serverly understaffed for a weekend as there had been someone who quit unexpectedly with no one to cover, and my boss took the day off leaving me and a teenager run the floor.
I will admit I got very annoyed as there was a complaint online which lead to one of my bosses calling and chewing us out when we did everything we could to ensure the best service we could, as I made a point that I'm almost 8 months pregnant, it was just me and a 16 year old running a busy restaurant while we were understaffed due to someone leaving and my boss taking an unexpected day off.
So I think that's where I'm a bit of a dick

OP posts:
GRex · 07/06/2024 09:05

In hospitality, you are not supposed to go to work for 48 hours after any bug. People disrespecting that advice are what causes the constant circulation of viruses. You've called in sick, so just stay home. Your boss might feel frustrated that they need to arrange cover, but that's life.

Worth calling GP or midwife to discuss your symptoms, and make sure you stay hydrated.

Barleysugar86 · 07/06/2024 08:46

Being pregnant is irrelevant, you are sick with a stomach bug and shouldn't be at work. Two or three days off sick would be very normal, don't worry if you still need that other day. Hope you feel better soon OP!

Mulloffuckintyre · 07/06/2024 08:46

You shouldn’t even think about going in to work.
How is your boss “annoyed”? It’s unlawful discrimination under the equality act to treat you unfavourably due to pregnancy related illness. They should watch what they say and do else you could have a case against them.

LoreleiG · 07/06/2024 08:43

If you’re unwell then you aren’t unreasonable taking a sick day.

OMGsamesame · 07/06/2024 08:40

You can't keep down liquids or Solids. Even if not pregnant I would call in sick.

Have you contacted your GP or MAU?

Mindymomo · 07/06/2024 08:35

If you have the norovirus bug, which is sickness and diarrhoea it’s highly contagious so I would stay off work until you can hold food down and stopped being sick and needing to go to the toilet way too often. Your stomach and back are going to hurt due to all the extra pressure on your body. Make sure you stay dehydrated and eat soft food for a couple of days.

Original poster
Fatandtired12 · 07/06/2024 08:34

@Revelatio
That was my first though, especially since I work in hospitality but my boss is annoyed that I've called out sick two days in a row

OP posts:
Revelatio · 07/06/2024 08:30

If you have a bug you should stay off work surely? Why work passing it on to others?